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She is being a horrible friend! Brain surgery is serious and she wasn’t there for you. I would never contact her again or send a gift. Sorry but you are being a doormat. Please stand up for yourself.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailormoon850
Shes not allowing anyone to show up at her wedding with masks.
I told her im still willing to help with the bridal shower but i will wear a mask for that and i told her i will show up to the wedding, get ready with her and walk down the aisle (also with a mask) but then leave because i dont feel comfortable being around that many people without a mask. She said no to me going to the wedding if i wont even stay the whole time and she also said if i dont show up to her wedding i dont need to be going to her bridal shower.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sailormoon850
I will text my friend this week and tell her how i feel and if she wants to be mad thats on her but i care about my health!
You are analyzing this to death IMO...because you said you already told her that you couldn't stay for the whole wedding or without a mask & she said that if you can't, then don't come at all.......so.....IMO it was already settled that you wouldn't be going. It's already on her IMO....what else is there to do?
Just get better & recover from your brain surgery.
Thanks for returning & I'm glad your recovery's goine well! Right, what TashaPosh said. You've already done what you did BEFORE your last post. You already said in your 1st post, "She said no to me going to the wedding if i wont even stay the whole time and she also said if i dont show up to her wedding i dont need to be going to her bridal shower. She also told me whoever doesnt show up to her wedding (because my family all said no) she wont ever talk to them again".
So GOOD, don't attend anything! Forget her. The whole wedding can come & go w/o me hearing a word of it for all I'd care. Why are you even giving her a gift?! Save your hard-earned money. You had brain surgery for goodness sake & she didn't care enough about you to call, send a card, send flowers, text, NOTHING. She didn't care to find out if you'd come out alive after your surgery & you still want to get her a wedding gift?! This ___ doesn't deserve you!
Your focus & priority should be taking care of YOURSELF & being happy in life & also making sure your mom stays well.
A TRUE BEST friend would have sent a card & flowers, called you about every other day. Offer to leave magazines on your doorstep (not in-person due to COVID) so you don't get bored. Been a listening ear to talk to, etc. But did she do any of that...a "best friend" of 15 years?! NOT a darn thing.
It's not about being "super busy". Always remember this: If someone really wants to do something, they will. If they don't, they won't. It's as simple as that.
The friendship's already been ruined & SHE's the SOLE reason why. Why are you hanging onto her? You don't need her.
Watch youtube videos about NARCISSISM. You'll see that this person's exactly that, a narcissist & the ONLY way to be free from them is to cut them out of your life permanently. They don't get better as time goes, even 20, 30, 40+ yrs from now. They get worse. Trust me.
It will HOPEFULLY make her think, but being such the complete narcissist like she is, who knows if even this will move her...probably not because narcs still think it's ALL ABOUT THEM & it can't possibly happen to them.
This lady is still pretty young...43 & leaves behind 3 daughters in their 20s & her husband.
BTW, my fiance' said to ghost her ass & don't even tell her you won't be her maid of honor. She doesn't even deserve ANY MORE CONTACT. Don't worry, she probably has plenty other friends who play into her ridiculous BS. She doesn't miss you in the least. Start some research on NARCISSISM. You'll see that she's exactly that. They have multiple aspects to them that are all negative. They also love having the final word, so you ghost her.
Last edited by PJSaturn; 10-10-2020 at 09:48 PM..
Reason: Language.
You have to be safe and take care of yourself and those you care about. Period. Wishing you a VERY speedy recovery!
I got engaged this year and my fiance and I were hoping for a January wedding with family and close friends. But COVID has changed all of that and we have opted to wait until things calm down a bit. There is just no sense in taking the risk.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225
You have to be safe and take care of yourself and those you care about. Period. Wishing you a VERY speedy recovery!
I got engaged this year and my fiance and I were hoping for a January wedding with family and close friends. But COVID has changed all of that and we have opted to wait until things calm down a bit. There is just no sense in taking the risk.
Ita with this super calm post! O.P. has to take care of herself & getting upset about her so called "friend" is not the way to do it IMO. AND... ita about postponing wedding reception plans....we did the same...... BUT we are still going to get married on the 31st by my groom's friend.
Ita with this super calm post! O.P. has to take care of herself & getting upset about her so called "friend" is not the way to do it IMO. AND... ita about postponing wedding reception plans....we did the same...... BUT we are still going to get married on the 31st by my groom's friend.
We prefer to wait until things are safer. We want to get married and have a reception at the same time to enjoy the occasion with family and friends. We're not planning anything super fancy or big anyway, not our style.
I agree that getting upset about her so called 'friend' is not conducive to healing. Not at all.
Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
9,297 posts, read 4,580,042 times
Reputation: 7613
Quote:
Originally Posted by mlj1225
We prefer to wait until things are safer. We want to get married and have a reception at the same time to enjoy the occasion with family and friends. We're not planning anything super fancy or big anyway, not our style.
I agree that getting upset about her so called 'friend' is not conducive to healing. Not at all.
AND some posters are getting more upset than she is IMO that doesn't help her...her energy should go to healing from surgery & forgetting about this friend.....because ofc she isn't really a friend.
We thought about waiting too....BUT the reception is just to celebrate & we don't know how long we will have to wait to do it the way we want. BUT....we don't want to wait to get married & Dec 31st has special meaning for us........so we decided to go ahead with the civil ceremony. We'll have a big reception when it's safe & we can celebrate all over again.
Thanks for all the kind responses. It does make me feel alot better. I did end up texting her last night and told her that i know shes upset but i hope she understands where im coming from and that i wouldnt just miss this wedding for no reason. She read it but never responded so i guess i have my answer
Thanks for the update. Yes, you have your answer. Some "friend" she turned out to be. I know it's disappointing.
Well, take care & continue recovering!
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You are analyzing this to death IMO...because you said you already told her that you couldn't stay for the whole wedding or without a mask & she said that if you can't, then don't come at all.......so.....IMO it was already settled that you wouldn't be going. It's already on her IMO....what else is there to do?
Ita with this super calm post! O.P. has to take care of herself & getting upset about her so called "friend" is not the way to do it IMO. AND... ita about postponing wedding reception plans....we did the same...... BUT we are still going to get married on the 31st by my groom's friend.
IMO that doesn't help her...her energy should go to healing from surgery & forgetting about this friend.....because ofc she isn't really a friend.
