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Location: As of 2022….back to SoCal. OC this time!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Katnan
Truly, you don't need or have to buy into what the wedding industry is selling. Spending a lot of money does not ensure a nicer or more worthy wedding, all it guarantees is that it costs more.
Um..so, what am I buying into? Did you read my post to the O.P.? I already had my wedding…it’s not about me.
We've been looking at venues for almost a month now. I guess maybe I have sticker shock and didn't realize the cost per person for weddings for the venue.
Prices are over the map but venue rentals have been $0 - $30,000. Additionally, the cost per plate being quoted has been $140- $300 in addition the venue. That does not include, music, ceremony, flowers etc.
The standard wedding quote for under 100 people has been $30k, and $40k for a nicer venue and food. About 80% of our guests will be traveling out of state or from Europe to the wedding so we do feel the pressure to make it a nice event. All in we are probably going to spend $40-60k based on the quotes. We can do it cheaper, but I just dont know if I would be satisified doing an event at a mediocre location
First, I want to know is it just the state of NJ is so expensive? Also, what are your thoughts on spending a lot of the wedding? We can afford the wedding and won't be taking loans, but will be dipping into savings to do it. Have you felt that it is worth it?
I would think that NJ and NY would be some of the most expensive states, but I was browsing around at Sea Island GA, and it’s far worse. Since most of your guests are traveling anyway, you could consider a destination wedding. Maybe Mexico, or the Caribbean.
I would think that NJ and NY would be some of the most expensive states, but I was browsing around at Sea Island GA, and it’s far worse. Since most of your guests are traveling anyway, you could consider a destination wedding. Maybe Mexico, or the Caribbean.
Or pick a country that is convenient for everyone to travel to so that the European guests wouldn't have to spend so much on plane fare, rental car and hotel.
I would only invite close family and friends.
The day is about the bride and groom, not about the big, expensive party they throw. Doing a scaled down wedding you can also choose better foods.
Truly, you don't need or have to buy into what the wedding industry is selling. Spending a lot of money does not ensure a nicer or more worthy wedding, all it guarantees is that it costs more.
If fewer people bought into it, we would see a shift. Do something different, something more meaningful than following the standard formula.
Agree with you. My son is getting married soon. The couple has decided to have a small intimate wedding with just immediate family.
Agree with you. My son is getting married soon. The couple has decided to have a small intimate wedding with just immediate family.
My husband and I had a super, super small wedding in the midst of COVID in June 2021, including us we were a grand total of 21 people. After being together nearly 18 years we decided it was time.
We held it outdoors in the backyard of a local restaurant. Dinner was a buffet, we were under pop-up tents from Walmart. We did use real linens in our colors, we had fairy lights, table decor, and beautiful disposable tableware that 100% looked real. Very little in the way of fresh flowers cause that's not really my thing. I had little potted succulents as part of the table decorations that doubled as the favor, and little tealight lanterns.
From soup to nuts- my dress to his suit, invitations from VistaPrint, to the church, photographer, and venue, we paid about $6000. It was simple and beautiful (Imo). We were surrounded by those that meant the most to us. I know that was chatter in our families about some not receiving invitations, feelings being hurt, etc. But you know what, it was our day, not yours. Yeah, you're my cousin but when was the last time we spoke to just say "hey"?
End of the day, it's about the marriage, not the wedding
Married in St. James, reception at the Molly Pitcher in RB Jersey. I'm sure it was expensive, I was a kid, I didn't pay for it. It was an opportunity for the in-laws to throw a big party for all their friends and family. I was a prop.
Married in St. James, reception at the Molly Pitcher in RB Jersey. I'm sure it was expensive, I was a kid, I didn't pay for it. It was an opportunity for the in-laws to throw a big party for all their friends and family. I was a prop.
That's hilarious. I pass the Molly Pitcher all the time, never been there.
That's hilarious. I pass the Molly Pitcher all the time, never been there.
For a hoot spent the night there last year, they should have had Leave it to Beaver on the TV in the lobby. It was from a different era. Restaurant was hoity-toity, food was good but pricey. Spent my wedding night there. One of my college housemates knocked on our hotel room door around midnite and asked if he could sleep on the floor in our room, said he had nowhere to sleep. Different time.
If you already have lots of guest traveling to the wedding, maybe consider a destination wedding at a less expensive location, where you'll get more bang for your buck. You might not even need to go far...I'd think that Maine or Vermont might have some beautiful venues while being more affordable.
We've been looking at venues for almost a month now. I guess maybe I have sticker shock and didn't realize the cost per person for weddings for the venue.
Prices are over the map but venue rentals have been $0 - $30,000. Additionally, the cost per plate being quoted has been $140- $300 in addition the venue. That does not include, music, ceremony, flowers etc.
The standard wedding quote for under 100 people has been $30k, and $40k for a nicer venue and food. About 80% of our guests will be traveling out of state or from Europe to the wedding so we do feel the pressure to make it a nice event. All in we are probably going to spend $40-60k based on the quotes. We can do it cheaper, but I just dont know if I would be satisified doing an event at a mediocre location
First, I want to know is it just the state of NJ is so expensive? Also, what are your thoughts on spending a lot of the wedding? We can afford the wedding and won't be taking loans, but will be dipping into savings to do it. Have you felt that it is worth it?
I happened to catch an article on NJ 101.5's website that lists some of the best farm and barn wedding venues in NJ which may also give you some ideas. There are a few other topics linked in the article.
Prime wedding season is almost upon us and a recent study from the top wedding website, The Knot revealed that farms and barns are the most popular type of wedding reception venues.
They tied with banquet venues but Knot senior editor, Kim Forrest said this is the first year that farms and barns have taken the top spot.
This 1790s 35-acre estate with a historic house and stone cottage sits on sprawling meadows, and stunning gardens with 200-year old trees..... ...... Exchange vows in the 18th-century-style English garden.
Cecil Creek Farm - 73 Democrat Road, Mickleton
This organic farm sits on 42 acres of farmland, perfect for venues. The farm prides itself on farm-to-table ideals so if couples are environmentally minded, this is the venue for them!
WoodsEdge Farm - 78 Bowne Station Road, Stockton
WoodsEdge Farm sits on 90 acres and offers a tranquil setting with simplicity and natural beauty that is perfect for a wedding. The working farm works with caterers who use only top-quality, local produce and specialize in creative cuisine to suit your taste, style, and budget.
Perona Farms - 350 Andover Sparta Road, Andover
Perona Farms, is a family-owned farm. was founded in 1917, and serves as a historic, country wedding venue. Each couple’s special day is tailored to fit their unique wedding dreams.
“Our unrivaled location, impeccable service, and world-class cuisine have exceeded expectations for years,” according to the website.
This newly renovated barn on 175 acres of farmland is now a premier wedding destination for couples who want the rustic look mixed with glitz and glam.
The farm, however, does have a hard limit on the number of weddings they host per year, so if you’re interested in having a barn wedding here, get it on the calendar as soon as possible. It is a smaller venue with a maximum of 120 guests.
Updike Farmstead is a beautifully, restored 18th/early 19th century farmhouse and barn set on six acres in Princeton. The Updike family purchased the nearly 200 acres of farmland surrounding the farmstead in 1892. Immediately after acquiring the farm, George Furman Updike, Sr. built the large barn. The initials of him and some of his children are still visible today, scrawled into wooden beams.
This 220-year-old equestrian estate is considered one of the top wedding venues around. Built in 1796, The Ryland Inn is a former country home and stagecoach stop.
Today, it is a redesignated space used for weddings. The Grand Ballroom combines the feel of a country farmhouse with a modern flair, with 30-foot windows and matching stone fireplaces. The space is complete with a private courtyard including outdoor bars, lounging, and fire pits.
The Hageman Farm House in Somerset is owned by the Meadows Foundation, a non-profit whose sole mission is to preserve early American heritage historical sites. If you’re a history buff with a love of a homestead-style barn wedding, this is the venue for you.
Have the ceremony in the 1800s-style Hageman horse barn.
The Bonnet Island Estate in Stafford Township is a modern and luxurious barn wedding venue. This is a plantation-style barn wedding venue (Calling all Scarlet O’Hara brides) that sits on its own island surrounded by water. Therefore, you know the pictures are going to be exquisite.
This is an all-inclusive barn wedding venue. The estate will handle the catering, but couples must provide their own flowers, entertainment and any other wedding staples and luxuries.
The Farm at Glenwood Mountain in Vernon is a family-run estate nestled among the mountaintops and sits on 170 acres of wide-open pastures.
The farm features three beautiful venue locations to host guests:
The Herb Garden: Enjoy a cocktail hour or full three-course meal in the middle of this USDA-certified organic herb and vegetable raised beds, while overlooking the pastures and watching the sunset
The Pasture: This is a true farm-to-table wedding experience with amazing views of animals grazing in nearby fields and organic veggies growing in a 2-acre field.
The Barn: This old working dairy barn can be transformed into a beautiful, rustic wedding space with turn-of-the-century charm.
Bishop Farmstead - 17 Pemberton Road, Southampton NJ. *Scroll to Partner Organizations, there are more wedding venue links.
Bishop Farmstead is a cozy, but spacious barn setting for a wedding. There are so many flowers, trees, plants and shrubbery that make the perfect backdrop for photos.
This ranch-style 1750 farmhouse wedding venue situated across from the Delaware River is perfect for a country-themed wedding. Beautifully manicured gardens and plush greenery will make for perfect photos of your unforgettable day.
Old Village Farm is nestled on a 30-acre vegetable and fruit farm and can accommodate anywhere from 25 to 150 guests.
The venue features three event spaces to create the perfect indoor or outdoor wedding reception, with true rustic appeal.
Green Acres Horse Farm is for the equestrian lover! Located in the heart of Higbee Beach Preserve, the horse farm features a private venue nestled on site for an outdoor event, like a wedding. The site has a cathedral-style steel arena. Bring your own venues to create the horse and farm wedding of your dreams.
Johnson’s Locust Hall Farm on 325 acres, offers spectacular farm views and unique settings. The serene farmland and rolling pastures paint a beautiful backdrop for your wedding. The Barns accommodate intimate weddings of 50 guests or larger celebrations of 150 guests.
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Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Did you read my post to the O.P.? I already had my wedding…it’s not about me.
