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Since doweries no longer exist for much of the civilized world, then one can argue engagement rings should be abolished as well.
Geez, if you don't wanna do it so much, just don't do it! Getting such half-hearted gifts would make most women puke anyway. Better yet, don't even bother getting married!
Heh, I was thinking a man's engagement ring would be something a little more masculine looking, like a wedding band.
Since doweries no longer exist for much of the civilized world, then one can argue engagement rings should be abolished as well.
Oh, we aren't letting you guys off the hook just because our parents are cheap
I have to agree though. At some point in time, it must have made sense to give a ring. I'm not sure why though. I know in some cultures, a man can divorce his wife by just kicking her out and the only things she can keep are her clothes and jewelry so maybe it was a way to make sure she was taken care of if the marriage failed. Although you can't live off of two months salary very long.
Geez, if you don't wanna do it so much, just don't do it! Getting such half-hearted gifts would make most women puke anyway. Better yet, don't even bother getting married!
I know some women would be upset about not getting a good ring. Some have said they don't care about it either, or at least don't care if it's not the biggest diamond on the block.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ivorytickler
Oh, we aren't letting you guys off the hook just because our parents are cheap
Dang!
Quote:
I have to agree though. At some point in time, it must have made sense to give a ring. I'm not sure why though. I know in some cultures, a man can divorce his wife by just kicking her out and the only things she can keep are her clothes and jewelry so maybe it was a way to make sure she was taken care of if the marriage failed. Although you can't live off of two months salary very long.
It's funny and ironic how some traditions go on forever (so far) and some just end. Now that both men and women have the same oppt. to go to school and further their careers (unlike the case from must a few decades ago), perhaps the "women need to be financially taken care of" part of the marriage will be less of a factor as they continue to be more indep.
I know some women would be upset about not getting a good ring. Some have said they don't care about it either, or at least don't care if it's not the biggest diamond on the block.
It's not about size and/or quality. It's about the attitude! And I really don't care for engagement rings per se as it's not a custom back home (seems like it started being, though).
Suffice to say, if I were to get married and heard similar contemplations, I'd drop the loser on the spot!
Suffice to say, if I were to get married and heard similar contemplations, I'd drop the loser on the spot!
Amen!
Actually what shocks me more is this attitude that all these men have on here! Why do I owe her a ring, what will she be getting me in return?
It's an oldfashioned outdated ritural? So is chivalry right? But women still appreciate it.
Believe me, such thinking is more materialistic than the girl who wants a big rock, and these men's attachment and/or obsession with giving (or not) will fly out the window when they meet the right one. All of a sudden they won't care if they buy the girl a $5 piece of pizza when the girl only bought a $1 soda.
Or maybe not and and they will die old and alone. Its not a very attractive attitude. But hey, at least they'll have their money and their principals.
It's not about size and/or quality. It's about the attitude! And I really don't care for engagement rings per se as it's not a custom back home (seems like it started being, though).
Suffice to say, if I were to get married and heard similar contemplations, I'd drop the loser on the spot!
What if the guy was poor and gave you a Cracker Jack box ring? I wonder if "it's the thought that count" theory would hold up or not.
Actually what shocks me more is this attitude that all these men have on here! Why do I owe her a ring, what will she be getting me in return?
It's an oldfashioned outdated ritural? So is chivalry right? But women still appreciate it.
Believe me, such thinking is more materialistic than the girl who wants a big rock, and these men's attachment and/or obsession with giving (or not) will fly out the window when they meet the right one. All of a sudden they won't care if they buy the girl a $5 piece of pizza when the girl only bought a $1 soda.
Or maybe not and and they will die old and alone. Its not a very attractive attitude. But hey, at least they'll have their money and their principals.
I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, so play along if you want or just flame me.
If tradition counts, then how would a woman feel if the man told her, "Stay in the kitchen, clean, raise the kids. I'll work and provide the bread and roof."? Then tradition goes out the window for the career-minded woman? If not, then is there a double standard somewhere there?
I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, so play along if you want or just flame me.
If tradition counts, then how would a woman feel if the man told her, "Stay in the kitchen, clean, raise the kids. I'll work and provide the bread and roof."? Then tradition goes out the window for the career-minded woman? If not, then is there a double standard somewhere there?
</Devil's Advocate>
Tradition is one thing. Opression another. You're not talking a harmless tradition there, however, I'll play along. Then he'd better be prepared to pay alimony for YEARS in event of a divorce and he'd better be prepared to earn enough to put the kids through college and take care her in perpetuity all by himself. I would think men would welcome help in the breadwinning department.
I'm playing Devil's Advocate here, so play along if you want or just flame me.
If tradition counts, then how would a woman feel if the man told her, "Stay in the kitchen, clean, raise the kids. I'll work and provide the bread and roof."? Then tradition goes out the window for the career-minded woman? If not, then is there a double standard somewhere there?
</Devil's Advocate>
Well, since statistically, women--even in homes where both individuals work outside the home--do an overwhelming majority of the housework anyway, I'd say there's a double standard everywhere, beowulf.
It's just that the guy doesn't come right out and ask, "Will you pick up my dish for the hundredth time and still wear a smile? If so, say 'I do'."
The double standard also exists in the fact that, while the husband has merely to sit back and do nothing, necessitating the wife doing it for both of them so that Social Services won't come and threaten to condemn their home, the woman apparently has to sit there and beg for a ring since it costs so much and she isn't giving anything back financially in return. (Well...except the cost of a weekly housecleaner...about $200 a month.)
Therefore, this specific analogy might not be the best possible one.
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would make most women puke anyway.
