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Old 05-29-2008, 10:50 PM
6,351 posts, read 9,693,377 times
Reputation: 3485


I have thought about this, as I usually think about all things that people just except at face value, and I can't help but think...what's in it for the guy?

I mean, a man spends thousand, upon THOUSANDS of dollars for a women to have some ugly, glass-like rock picked out of the dirt by some poor enslaved kid in a war-torn part of Africa, and what the heck does he get in return?

A "I DOOOO!" and a hug! I mean, why can't she buy him something in return?

IF I ever get married, after I give her a opal, obsidian or thulite ring, set in (hopefully) reycled titanium, and she accepts, I will respestfully give her some time to let it sing in and than let it be known that I will expect an authentic antique functional sword at some point before the wedding. Nothing particular...but a katana would be sweet

Hey, fair is fair, if I'm shelling out the money to show my love for her, than why shouldn't she shell out the money to show her love for me?

And if I didn't get a sword, than there would be no wedding and I'll take the ring back, thank you very much. Fair is fair.
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Old 05-29-2008, 10:59 PM
Location: An absurd world.
5,160 posts, read 8,935,554 times
Reputation: 2023
If you don't like the tradition, don't follow it.

I wouldn't follow it. It's not a requirement, so stop making a big deal out of it.
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Old 05-30-2008, 01:35 AM
2,630 posts, read 4,840,604 times
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I read in the metro newspaper here in the uk that it was becoming more and more common for women to give out the engagement ring instead but as Haaziq says, people who don't want to follow the tradition don't have to

On a personal note. I know the engagement ring is a squandering of cash but a thing from a long relationship I had with this girl was that after a while, you feel like doing something nice for the sake of it and when it comes to a tradition such as a birthday or Christmas. It becomes really hard for you not to go over the top, heck, since everyone else does something like this you willingly want to do something extravagant, reckless and most likely expensive(In fact, my only limiting factor was that lousy £25 a week budget) while at the same time not doing it so often that the person gets certain expectations of you and not so over the top that the other person gets distraught at not being able to return the act with one of their own(yes its strange, women do think of you at times)

You really stop seeing these things as a very elaborate form of prostitution but as a way to make her happy. Talking about the sociological aspects of the wedding ring, when girls are growing up at one point or another they would have attended a wedding or watched shows that depicted the events before and after a wedding. Depending on their age they may think how pretty or happy auntie/cousin/sister looked with it and wish to have one of their own when they grew up.

Then again what do I know? I'm single atm
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:00 AM
5,823 posts, read 11,443,011 times
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You're right, I hate those kind of traditions too (like stValentine's day) Are people so unsure of their feelings that they must have under their very eyes a constant reminder of their engagement ? It's lile people who have pictures of wife & children staring at them on the office desk (mind you, not the stepmother!), it might be a PR ploy for some ("see my nice family, I'm a reliable guy"), but it has a Pharisian undertone : why do they have to make their private happiness so OBVIOUS to their coworkers/customers : lack of self-assurance maybe ?
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:43 AM
Location: NoVa
18,433 posts, read 33,217,507 times
Reputation: 19795
Well, my engagement ring came from a young man in the 12th grade, so it was not spectacular, but I loved him, and it was special coming from him. It was the one I wore for what seemed like forever...

...of course, until the day I took it off, never to be placed on my finger again.

Now, for one to be engaged, you do not have to have a ring, and not all men pay this for a ring, if they do get one.

But like another poster said, sometimes we do these things out of love. Not because omg, if I don't do it, she wont love me, or... I have to do it like this because everyone else is...

She wont love me if I don't get her the biggest ring in the store.

Give me a break. If that is what she feels, then the man has no business marrying her, unless shallow is something he finds attractive in a woman.

Now. I have a question for you. Maybe a statement, I don't know. In all of these posts you are coming up with, threads, actually... I really get the feeling that....

You just don't like women. Not to say that I think you are gay, although the thought has ocurred. Especially when you spoke of accidentally having sex with another male in the high school years. Not saying that is what you did, I think you used it as a for instance.

Every single one of these posts has something pointed towards women, and why you just don't like them, when one reads between the lines.

So, now, my question.

Do you even like women? If not, just get over it and find yourself a man, and quit bashing women.

Have a great day, VP.
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Old 05-30-2008, 04:55 AM
Location: Fort Worth, Texas
10,755 posts, read 34,489,123 times
Reputation: 6948
I like the idea of using a nicer then usual wedding band as an engagement ring, maybe something with both birthstones of the couple in it and having them have a matching ring. Or some other meaningful thing to them like Celtic symbols or like my sister and her husband had the moutain view of where they lived in Colorado on the rings.
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Old 05-30-2008, 05:25 AM
Location: Coastal Georgia
47,030 posts, read 58,718,136 times
Reputation: 85943
You have a right to your feelings, and can do what you want, but good luck finding a woman with standards that low.
My, admittedly traditional and maybe archaic, viewpoint is that an engagement ring is a lavish gift bestowed as a token of the high regard that the man feels for the woman who is agreeing to marry him. It is also a symbol to the outside world that that women is cherished by someone, and as such is off limits to other men. This is something important to most women.
I suppose you don't believe in sending flowers either, since they too are a waste of money, and they just die. Also wrong-headed thinking.
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:14 AM
4,898 posts, read 17,984,866 times
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when i was dating my husband, we just understood that we would be married. i had already told him he need not buy me a ring at all. but HE wasthe one that felt the want to buy me one. i had already accepted his propsal, i dd not go to pick it out, i did not look at it when he asked me "officially". i just said yes of course. it is a very beautiful ring by the way.
i hope one day i can give it to our son and pass it down.
i in turn decided it would be nice for HIM to also have a diamond ring--a manly one of course. and so i bought him one too....very unexpected, but appreciated non the less.

it doesnt have to be diamonds, but traditionally, when a man was going to ask for a woman's hand, he brought flowers and a gold ring, as a promise and toshow that he would be able to take care of her financially.
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Old 05-30-2008, 06:51 AM
Location: In a chartreuse microbus
3,864 posts, read 6,064,131 times
Reputation: 8106
Default So, I looked up an authentic antique katana sword....

Your fiancee' will need a small fortune and a good sense of humor. The 17th century sword I found is available for $25,500, plus tax.

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Old 05-30-2008, 06:59 AM
5,823 posts, read 11,443,011 times
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My future wife would rather have a nice body product, piece of furniture, good restaurant or nice journey for the price of that ring.
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