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Old 02-24-2021, 02:26 PM
 
129 posts, read 129,833 times
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As I consider my own move to the area from NY, I also have to deal with the mother in law. She, too, will be moving as well. Her other kid and grandkids live in Lake Worth, and she has been talking about moving down for years. Of course, she never did. Once we go, she will have no one left in NY, so she will be forced to finally pull the trigger. Thing is, at this point, she is mentioning independent living places. She's only 75, but physically an old 75. Perfectly capable of living on her own, as she does now, but she wants to have people around just in case. She also wants the socialization, as she can talk talk talk with the best of them. Are independent living places just a fancy name for old folks homes, filled with depressing "patients"? Or are they actually filled with seniors who go about their day like those in the typical 55+ communities? Any advice or recommendations?
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:08 PM
 
Location: USA
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All different types of accommodations available. The best residences I have seen are in north Florida in Atlantic Beach, just outside Jacksonville. Called Fleet Landing, it was originally built for retired Navy and other military personnel. It is open to everyone now. The independent living residences are patio homes or apartments. The people are very friendly and very active. Of course now it is difficult to determine what the "feel" of a place is with lock downs and masking.

You have to visit places to see what the vibe is. Independent living residences are not fancy names for old age homes, but they are all different. I don't know if it's possible to visit now because of the pandemic. Otherwise I would recommend that you visit several times, at different times of the day. Eat at the restaurant. Talk to the people walking around. Ask if the independent living residence permits home health aides and companions to stay with the residents at the independent living residence? This can be useful if MIL needs assistance with some of the ADL's later on, but is not ready for Assisted Living.

Many couples go the Independent Living route when younger (ages 60-75) and so the residences have the feel of a country club (or Noah's Ark) where people are two-by-two. Makes it hard for a single woman to become integrated. Others have more singles so that an outgoing new person is easily absorbed.

Scour the internet for checklists of questions to ask about independent living.

Also explore a home in an over 55 subdivision if your MIL is healthy and likes some privacy. She can hire aides to help with the cleaning and other chores, but she will still have people around her.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:19 PM
 
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We have a newer facility in Cape Coral that offers 3 levels of housing: supportive independent care, assisted living, and memory care and the inside of this place from the videos makes it seem like a pretty upscale place. https://youtu.be/iJ_N-MoZfnQ I'm sure places like that aren't cheap but it shows that there are places out there that aren't so depressing, no matter the level of care needed.

To answer your question, I think most independent living facilities in Florida are probably pretty nice, especially in the Lake Worth area. It seems that such facilities are more apartment-like than typical nursing home and people can come and go as they please (other than the memory care people who probably need to be checked in & out) but I think most places separate people based on the level of care needed as we knew someone who had to change apartments once they needed the extra monitoring of memory care. Cost also goes up with the level of care, naturally. So if your MIL can find a nice facility over there near family, she could remain in the same location as her needs change over time versus getting shuffled from place to place across town.

Hopefully someone else in the area can point out some good ones for you, I just wanted to chime in and point out that some of these places are really nice and make you want to channel your inner Golden Girl.
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Old 02-24-2021, 03:33 PM
 
129 posts, read 129,833 times
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I suppose we'll be grappling with the same basic decision as her: are we too young for the place. Is she too young for independent living, and are we (about to hit 55) too young for a 55+ community.
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Old 02-25-2021, 01:29 PM
 
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Try finding an active plus community. More younger folks or at least people who still consider themselves active. May also check out Multi-generational housing options if you don't mind sharing some space with your MIL.
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Old 02-26-2021, 08:43 AM
 
129 posts, read 129,833 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SellingNWCape View Post
Try finding an active plus community. More younger folks or at least people who still consider themselves active. May also check out Multi-generational housing options if you don't mind sharing some space with your MIL.
That is definitely not happening!
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