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About those nasty comments about the woman who wanted to be supported...
Shouldhaveleft, you are so cynical you wring my heart. There are puh-lenty of lovely "older" (haha) women that are pursued by very eligible men. Everyone has a different opinion of what makes a "trophy wife."The comment regarding the cougar thing sounds bitter and a tad jealous, dare I speculate? A woman can change her financial situation drastically simply by marrying. For men, not so much.
Steven r.-The business world can be the most abusive place for anyone to attempt to 'live their dreams.' The worst treatment I ever received anywhere was working for different companies where my 'job description' was a total 'job distortion.' I found very little intelligence, management skills, and not much of a welcoming attitude toward new ideas. Harrassment was the norm and there was mostly a cover-your-butt attitude. When I became a SAHM I was VASTLY relieved to never deal with the characters that seem to inhabit the workplace. Taking care of triplets was a breeze compared to what I left.
The woman/friend who wants her bills paid by a man may sound shallow and superficial, but most likely she's been kicked around so much that she wants out. I hope she falls head over heels in love with someone who has the means to take her away from it all.
(If the things that happened to me early in my career happened now, any good lawyer would have told me to sue, although I'm not the type.) So I think I'll write a book.
Just sayin', your lady pal could be abused, low-paid, and tired of the game.
There's my rant. I'm much better now. A little off-topic, I know, I know...
I don't think he was talking about SAHMs (I could be wrong) but women who henpeck their husbands for the works (financially, emotionally, etc.) even if means are limited. At least you had the ambition to get an education and strive for a career. There are places in other parts of the country (mostly in the south from what I've read) where girls are taught at a young age that the #1 thing they ought to strive for in life is to marry a man who will treat them like princesses.
BTW, have you ever tried to use your attractiveness to get ahead in your job? One former boss of mine in her 40s who has twins would apply lots of anti-aging concoctions, work out and come to the office wearing skirts that were only as long as the midpoint between her knees and waist. She made it all the way to SVP. Maybe it could have worked.
My point was that nobody should ever inspire to soley rely on someone else, We should all inspire to do great things for ourselves. Men suck, I know this cause I am one, and the kept woman philosophy is dangerous for the woman because she has no way to stand on her own two feet if said man leaves or worse becomes abusive.
My ex-fiance who I loved dearly, at least at one time, victim of abuse, married 3 times, divorced 3 times, has a degree in nursing, and still does the same exact thing over and over again. Why? Honestly I couldn't tell ya however she has bounced from different states, the guys she meets and tries to hookup with are crap, but then cries out for everybody to feel sorry for her. There comes a point when you have to stand on your own 2 feet and say enough, she hasn't done that yet, and if she keeps doing what she's doing, she may no longer be around.
Do you know what I think? I think you are undergoing the middle-age crisis. When people begin to assess their lives, past, present and future. I think that you have to be honest with yourself, and your feelings.
What about NYS are you missing? Friends, family, both are very important. Have you been able to assimilate in the Blue Ridge Mountains of Virginia, with its people? Do you feel like an outsider? Southern hospitality can sometimes become a little overbearing. Is your spouse from NYC? It seems to me that you are still holding a torch for your ex-girlfriend, also. Although, you have tried to derail that......
Contrary to what all the other people here have told you: You need to comeback more often, visit with your friends, and family, comeback during holidays, when you can partake with all of them. You maybe bored with Virginia, with your marriage, and I think you may need a change of scenery for a while, to be able to comes to grip with it.
Regardless of your decision......I wish you the best of luck.
You don't have to try to use your attractiveness in the workplace. You try to downplay it, because if nature was kind to you, you have guys pole-vaulting all over the place, doing ridiculous things to try to be noticed, talking about how they hate their wives. Geez. It's supposed to be a job. That's it.
Off topic, I know.
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Steve R.
