Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I was born in Washiington state. My parents divorced when I was two. After I was five I didn't hear from my dad until I was 19 and searched for him and his family. He never paid child support or helped me with college tuition. He did give me $500 when I was pregnant with his only grandchild. Btw, I have no siblings. I really have no feelings for him. I am only sad that I never had the chance to have a dad (stepfather was abusive). I am also sad because I had a family in New York that I never knew growing up. I see them occasionally but it's a long way across country. No one visits out here
He is 87 and in a nursing home in New York. He lost his apartment due to being behind on rent. He was in the hospital due to an accident and his landlord threw all his belongings out. He has a small pension and SSA which pretty much covers his care.
My question is two fold: what are my duties and responsibilities when he passes on? His dad died at 100 and mom at 89. He was a serious drinker and is overweight as was my grandfather. Great genetics. I did visit with him in 2013. Am I responsible for his burial and debts? I am sure he has no savings.
I really don't want much to do with him. I am so disappointed in him as a dad. He was never there. And, he knew what kind of man my mom married. He promised me his life insurance policy but gave it to a woman with nine kids. I do not want to attend the funeral. I just don't care. I cried a long time ago.
I don't think this thread is appropriate for the Westchester forum, but if you can afford it, it won't hurt to at least pay for a decent funeral and burial.
Status:
"Let this year be over..."
(set 16 days ago)
Location: Where my bills arrive
19,220 posts, read 17,075,134 times
Reputation: 15536
You are not under any legal obligation for him or his burial or debts. How you choose to recognize his passing is up to you no one else. Remember having a child does not make you a father; being there to participate/provide for a child is what makes a parent, don't beat yourself up.
you are not under any legal obligation for him or his burial or debts. How you choose to recognize his passing is up to you no one else. Remember having a child does not make you a father; being there to participate/provide for a child is what makes a parent, don't beat yourself up.
I was born in Washiington state. My parents divorced when I was two. After I was five I didn't hear from my dad until I was 19 and searched for him and his family. He never paid child support or helped me with college tuition. He did give me $500 when I was pregnant with his only grandchild. Btw, I have no siblings. I really have no feelings for him. I am only sad that I never had the chance to have a dad (stepfather was abusive). I am also sad because I had a family in New York that I never knew growing up. I see them occasionally but it's a long way across country. No one visits out here
He is 87 and in a nursing home in New York. He lost his apartment due to being behind on rent. He was in the hospital due to an accident and his landlord threw all his belongings out. He has a small pension and SSA which pretty much covers his care.
My question is two fold: what are my duties and responsibilities when he passes on? His dad died at 100 and mom at 89. He was a serious drinker and is overweight as was my grandfather. Great genetics. I did visit with him in 2013. Am I responsible for his burial and debts? I am sure he has no savings.
I really don't want much to do with him. I am so disappointed in him as a dad. He was never there. And, he knew what kind of man my mom married. He promised me his life insurance policy but gave it to a woman with nine kids. I do not want to attend the funeral. I just don't care. I cried a long time ago.
Thanks for any help.
The other poster is correct, his estate is responsible for his debts. If he dies with no assets, then there is nothing to pay the debts and they die with him. If there is anything there (like a bank account, retirement account things like this, there will likely be a claim made for these estate assets by debtors). You do not need to do anything. As for whether you should bury him, its your call, but I doubt I would do it. He will get a paupers funeral and burial by the City.
Yes, only his estate is responsible for his debts. The only natural person to whom the responsibility for his debts could ever pass would be his spouse, had he been married at the time of death.
Thank-you for your replies. I wasn't sure where I should post this so if the Moderator wants to move it to where it is more appropriate, that is fine.
To Forest Hill Daddy: I owe him nothing. He was never there for me and frittered his money on booze, gambling and women. I never received Christmas or birthday presents, not even a card. My aunts will probably pay for his funeral as they excused his behavior for years, until I wrote them a letter about the devastating affects his absentee parenthood had on me.
Since he was a WWII and a member of the local American Legion, perhaps they will step up. I may change my mind when he does pass.
Today is my daughter's birthday and no call or card. You reap what you sow.
My dad passed away last week. I did speak to him on the phone before he become unable to communicate. He was the same person as ever: only concern for himself. He didn't ask about his granddaughter or how I was. My relatives are taking care of the burial arrangements. He was a WWII vet so the VA will take care of his burial. Funny thing is that he was estranged from the rest of the family for reasons I wasn't privy to ( my grandparents will or similar is what I was told). He moved back home to Dutchess County to be with family as he knew that they would welcome him home. They made sure he was taken care of.
When my cousin asked him for money for his burial, he wouldn't write a check saying that it was "his" money. He also told her that a lady friend willed him a large sum of money ($90,000 - $160,000) a few years ago and it is all gone as he bought his friends drinks. He said he did not have a will so, according to New York State law, his estate goes into probate. I am the closest heir other than his siblings. I really didn't want to bother my relatives as they have done so much. I know that any creditors have to be satisfied first but feel that I should receive something, if there is anything. It won't make up for his absence but it would be partial compensation for growing up poor due to no child support.
What should I do? Who should I contact? We do not have extra money for a lawyer. I can't travel back there at this time as we run a small business and this is our busy time plus we really don't have the funds.
My dad passed away last week. I did speak to him on the phone before he become unable to communicate. He was the same person as ever: only concern for himself. He didn't ask about his granddaughter or how I was. My relatives are taking care of the burial arrangements. He was a WWII vet so the VA will take care of his burial. Funny thing is that he was estranged from the rest of the family for reasons I wasn't privy to ( my grandparents will or similar is what I was told). He moved back home to Dutchess County to be with family as he knew that they would welcome him home. They made sure he was taken care of.
When my cousin asked him for money for his burial, he wouldn't write a check saying that it was "his" money. He also told her that a lady friend willed him a large sum of money ($90,000 - $160,000) a few years ago and it is all gone as he bought his friends drinks. He said he did not have a will so, according to New York State law, his estate goes into probate. I am the closest heir other than his siblings. I really didn't want to bother my relatives as they have done so much. I know that any creditors have to be satisfied first but feel that I should receive something, if there is anything. It won't make up for his absence but it would be partial compensation for growing up poor due to no child support.
What should I do? Who should I contact? We do not have extra money for a lawyer. I can't travel back there at this time as we run a small business and this is our busy time plus we really don't have the funds.
Call the Duchess County Surrogate's Court, can't hurt.
I will call in the morning. Thank-you. Should I also call the county court in White Plains where he lived for a long time? Or, do you contact the county in which he passed away? I am way out in Washington state.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Update
