U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > New York > Westchester County
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 06-12-2016, 06:09 PM
 
451 posts, read 623,122 times
Reputation: 686

Advertisements

Please remember that if a spouse stays home, you are saving some money on daycare, but you are losing household money by being out of your career. No matter what people say, you can't re-capture the financial momentum of your career, and you might be reduced to "just a job" when your kids are old enough for you to seek employment.

After having triplets, I worked part-time most years. But when it came time to work full-time again, I did not hear from one employer, no matter how well I fit the job. There is not a lot of support for stay at home moms or dads, and employers don't like the gap they see on your resume, no matter how admirable it is. (And I ran a business from my house all along!)

I have a degree, and a masters degree and I'm earning 13.00 an hour (up from 9.00 per hour in the school district...)

Hopefully, you are in a hot career field and won't have the same problems.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 06-14-2016, 12:46 PM
 
55 posts, read 55,045 times
Reputation: 54
Erdogan got it right there. No one will raise a kid better then a parent. Investing into development of a human being is most valuable, more over investing into your children. Children need parental attention and moral guidance more then anything, more then ever. Learning mathematical equations is easy. Helping to form a good human being who enjoys to help other is the highest art all other arts revolve around. It is better to work for your family then for another, usually, mans company.
Socialization is derailmen of the topic. Negative Socialization Yet another topic. A child can socialize with other children who have dedicated parents. I personally teach a HS kid in 1 hr what they learn in 2 wks of math classes in school. Having a tutor or being homeschooled by educated parents was once the privilege of the aristocracy, who used educational time more efficiently and had plenty of time for pro-social and meaningful socialization.

Last edited by MeaningIntheMeanwhile; 06-14-2016 at 01:10 PM..
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2016, 01:22 PM
 
Location: Westport, CT
687 posts, read 595,045 times
Reputation: 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by MeaningIntheMeanwhile View Post
Erdogan got it right there. No one will raise a kid better then a parent. Investing into development of a human being is most valuable, more over investing into your children. Children need parental attention and moral guidance more then anything, more then ever. Learning mathematical equations is easy. Helping to form a good human being who enjoys to help other is the highest art all other arts revolve around. It is better to work for your family then for another, usually, mans company.
Socialization is derailmen of the topic. Negative Socialization Yet another topic. A child can socialize with other children who have dedicated parents. I personally teach a HS kid in 1 hr what they learn in 2 wks of math classes in school. Having a tutor or being homeschooled by educated parents was once the privilege of the aristocracy, who used educational time more efficiently and had plenty of time for pro-social and meaningful socialization.
And they have zero social skills. Terrific job.
Btw, there aren't tons of other home school kids to socialize with, who are the same age, who also happen to live nearby. Not going to happen.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-14-2016, 01:40 PM
 
223 posts, read 740,162 times
Reputation: 58
This is all a personal decision, no right or wrong answer, just a matter of choice and need. There are positives and negatives to both scenarios which I could go into(working vs. stay at home moms). No right answer for everyone.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2016, 08:48 AM
 
55 posts, read 55,045 times
Reputation: 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by beerisgood02 View Post
And they have zero social skills. Terrific job.
Btw, there aren't tons of other home school kids to socialize with, who are the same age, who also happen to live nearby. Not going to happen.
It seems that you think that homeschool kids do not socialize just because they do not go to private/public schools. While you are speculating why it will "not going to happen" other people are doing it and getting better, more positive socialization skills. It will not going to happen if you don't try that is for sure.


People have also to realize that it is completely different lifestyle. It is like an alcoholic in recovery, ambient needs to change, lifestyle needs to change in order for abstinence to take place and meaningfull things can flourish. Everything cannot stay the same for alcoholism to disapear. That is the case with other social pathologies including those related to educational system.


People who do homeschooling, network with other people in the area, have more time for creative meaningfull activities with children and tutors. They can socialize with kids of similar values who go to public schools. I am aware that it is difficult for tons of parents to afford succh ubringing for their children, not as much because of finacial resources but because ton of parents are inert and believe that someone alse will think things through for them. We have to fight for ourselves and kids, there's no one alse to do it.
Small private schools can also be good solution, sometimes they emerge from groups of people of similar values doing homeschooling.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2016, 09:05 AM
bg7
 
7,696 posts, read 9,081,339 times
Reputation: 15204
I guess you've got an English tutor for them and are not trying to teach them that yourself. Hopefully.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2016, 10:41 AM
 
Location: Hartsdale, NY
62 posts, read 66,317 times
Reputation: 101
My wife has a great job with a great pension, so while daycare is not cheap at all, we opted for it because long-term it's best for our retirement. Our child is well taken care of a home and at the daycare.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2016, 12:24 PM
 
789 posts, read 563,160 times
Reputation: 589
Quote:
Originally Posted by jaymtea View Post
As a mom I've worked and stayed home.

I agree with sdcity that if one of you is making less than daycare costs, then it may be a better option to stay home.
If it's possible to work part time/ day care part time that could also be an option.

It's good for kids to be with other kids to play and learn social skills.
I've also spoken to a lot of daycare providers/teachers who have said that children who start kindergarten without having been at daycare/camp at all are at a bit of a disadvantage because they don't understand things like standing in line, circle time, ect....

The bottom line is, until the kids are in school, daycare is a big expense. It gets easier when they start school because you're only paying for before/after care if you need it.

Best of luck figuring it out!
Pardon, but this really is not the analysis. Say daycare in this case for the OP cost $2,100/mo. This is $25,200 per year.

So before tax you need to earn roughly $40k (this will swing depending on what the other spouse makes). Now let us assume you make $80k and your taking home $55k. Your essentially spending another $25k (cost of daycare) to make that, so now your making $30k take-home on an $80k salary. Throw in transportation and food costs and it is even less. What is worse, if the second income thrusts you over the $150k mark or gets you into AMT status your even more royally screwed. It is literally like working 1.5 days of a 5 day workweek for yourself in order to let strangers essentially raise your kid.

Now clearly some people must do it, that 2nd income needs to be fairly large for the economics to offset the value of an infant/toddler's own parental care.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2016, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Westport, CT
687 posts, read 595,045 times
Reputation: 231
Quote:
Originally Posted by RonaldusMagnus View Post
Pardon, but this really is not the analysis. Say daycare in this case for the OP cost $2,100/mo. This is $25,200 per year.

So before tax you need to earn roughly $40k (this will swing depending on what the other spouse makes). Now let us assume you make $80k and your taking home $55k. Your essentially spending another $25k (cost of daycare) to make that, so now your making $30k take-home on an $80k salary. Throw in transportation and food costs and it is even less. What is worse, if the second income thrusts you over the $150k mark or gets you into AMT status your even more royally screwed. It is literally like working 1.5 days of a 5 day workweek for yourself in order to let strangers essentially raise your kid.

Now clearly some people must do it, that 2nd income needs to be fairly large for the economics to offset the value of an infant/toddler's own parental care.
Agreed. For daycare to make sense families should be making 200k+.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 06-15-2016, 01:59 PM
 
55 posts, read 55,045 times
Reputation: 54
Quote:
Originally Posted by bg7 View Post
I guess you've got an English tutor for them and are not trying to teach them that yourself. Hopefully.

Learning English should be the least of parental worries,especially if children are born in the US. I am more concerned withlearning good moral values, learning to enjoy helping, building with others andconnecting that with scientific knowledge; as opposed to learnedhelplessness and social apathy. The original meaning of the word moral isa hint gained through experience, knowledge of why something is both good anduseful; knowing why good is advantageous and appreciating it as such is wisdomimportant for children to experience. First and foremost children learnthrough our actions, the way we relate to other people, much less from our words.
Rate this post positively Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:




Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > U.S. Forums > New York > Westchester County
View detailed profiles of:

All times are GMT -6.

© 2005-2021, Advameg, Inc. · Please obey Forum Rules · Terms of Use and Privacy Policy · Bug Bounty

City-Data.com - Contact Us - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37 - Top