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Kids are only little for such a short amount of time. You have your entire life to work. Its not only about money... Take a few years off (wife or husband), downsize if need be. You will never regret it. I speak from experience.
It's a personal decision, but keep in mind that the long term economic impact of the non working spouse may be substantial. Ideally, the person who ends up SAH should have worked long enough to qualify for SS benefits on his/her own income, and the parent who remains working should have disability insurance and earn enough to pay for sufficient life insurance outside of the workplace. Adequate retirement savings/access to a pension also need to be factored in.
I'm mid 30s and know more than one person who is under 40 and no longer employed due to health concerns; I also know a couple of people who have lost spouses at this age. The one whose spouse was a SAHP with no life insurance and had not worked long enough to get SS benefits is in a tough place WrT childcare now.
It's a personal decision, but keep in mind that the long term economic impact of the non working spouse may be substantial. Ideally, the person who ends up SAH should have worked long enough to qualify for SS benefits on his/her own income, and the parent who remains working should have disability insurance and earn enough to pay for sufficient life insurance outside of the workplace. Adequate retirement savings/access to a pension also need to be factored in.
I'm mid 30s and know more than one person who is under 40 and no longer employed due to health concerns; I also know a couple of people who have lost spouses at this age. The one whose spouse was a SAHP with no life insurance and had not worked long enough to get SS benefits is in a tough place WrT childcare now.
Those are legitimate concerns. As are long term consequences of children spending more of their time with others who educate them, form their character and habits, then with their parents. Main stream/pop culture is not something I would like my children initiated in. I would like to teach them how to claim responsibility, think for themselves and have their own business in the future. Many are just waiting to offer their guidance to our children, yet we have the right of the first step which will orient our children.
Those are legitimate concerns. As are long term consequences of children spending more of their time with others who educate them, form their character and habits, then with their parents. Main stream/pop culture is not something I would like my children initiated in. I would like to teach them how to claim responsibility, think for themselves and have their own business in the future. Many are just waiting to offer their guidance to our children, yet we have the right of the first step which will orient our children.
I guess I'm confused about the connection between daycare and a pop culture/sheep mentality initiation? Maybe you haven't been exposed to some of the higher quality child care settings available today?
Please remember that if a spouse stays home, you are saving some money on daycare, but you are losing household money by being out of your career. No matter what people say, you can't re-capture the financial momentum of your career, and you might be reduced to "just a job" when your kids are old enough for you to seek employment.
After having triplets, I worked part-time most years. But when it came time to work full-time again, I did not hear from one employer, no matter how well I fit the job. There is not a lot of support for stay at home moms or dads, and employers don't like the gap they see on your resume, no matter how admirable it is. (And I ran a business from my house all along!)
I have a degree, and a masters degree and I'm earning 13.00 an hour (up from 9.00 per hour in the school district...)
Hopefully, you are in a hot career field and won't have the same problems.
I feel like this sentence needs to be shouted louder for all the folks who are busy scolding parents for daring to have children and not stay at home. (Let's be honest--I highly doubt anyone tsk tsking dual-income families are talking about dads staying home, so let's just cut to the chase and point out that even if the OP didn't intend this thread to be about SAHMs, that's likely what many of the pro-SAHP folks mean.)
Here's a shocking bit of information--babies don't stay babies forever. They grow up. They eventually go to school. And then they eventually grow up enough to be adults and no longer need mommy or daddy watching them. Yes, the early years are important, but frankly, a high-quality daycare, along with parental involvement at home, is just as good as a SAHP. (I should link studies that are out there, but I'm not going to. Feel free to google.) My point is, eventually kids are old enough--and then independent enough--to not need (or want) constant parental supervision, and I personally think it's a bad idea to put one's career on hold for exclusive parenting.
When a parent (mom) stays at home, while in the short-term there may appear to be a gain because money isn't going into daycare, but that doesn't account for the loss of career progression. Or the loss in retirement savings. Or the loss of savings. Or increased health care costs for the non-working spouse, who will have to get health care through their working spouse.
If a marriage tanks, or the working partner dies, the SAHP can be in serious trouble in terms of finances, or in terms of being able to secure a job that can pays a livable wage or provides health care. No one wants to think that way, but life happens.
We can romanticize parents (moms) staying at home all day long, but if your finances can handle the strain of daycare for however long you need it (and often daycare costs dip as children get older--infant care often costs more than toddler or preschooler care), then it's worth a short-term hit for longer-term security. (And this isn't about making big bucks to support a lifestyle, but about providing long-term financial security for both spouses.)
I think I have to reiterate it's a personal decision and what is best for one is not always best for another.
For me, mentally, staying home full time was not a good fit. My kids did not suffer for it all, went to a high quality daycare and are very well adjusted, independent, adaptable children. On the flip side(and I am not saying this is the case with all SAHM's), I have seen children who are so attached to their parents who stay at home that they have problems with separation. I am still involved with forming their character and habits and take a bit of offense to the thought I am not involved in their child rearing and character formation because I work. And I think a bit of independence does teach them to think on their own and claim responsibility!
I guess I'm confused about the connection between daycare and a pop culture/sheep mentality initiation? Maybe you haven't been exposed to some of the higher quality child care settings available today?
Maybe I have not. Maybe I have been a kid in a child care setting which was better then what one considers to be some of the higher quality child care settings available these days in US. Maybe amongst other things I was learning a foreign language there as well. But again I wish that I was with one of my parents instead. They were professionals and I was very happy when one of them had a day off and I was able to stay at home with them. After initial shock and adjustment my sister and I had fun at the day care as other kids did. At times my mother would come to pick us up, only to wait for another hour, chatting with teachers until we finish playing a game we started with other kids whose parents were not there yet. I had a good childhood and mostly good experience at the day care, which does not mean that it would not be even better both for us and our parents if one of them was able to stay home.
I doubt that their daycare teachers or peers at a higher quality child care would be little buddha's or saints. Besides the fact that one on one parent can teach them much more then a teacher in a daycare center can, children will see the effort their parent is putting in them, that will form a stronger bound between a parent and child.
In olden days boy would stay with father and help him around with whatever was the daily work of his father. Girl with a mother. They would learn a lot and be able to do something at very early age which would give them financial independence at very early age. Then according to their talents parents would sent them to schools (if able) where children can master something that is outside of the scope of parental knowledge. They would be apprentice of an expert untill they become masters. These days most of the kids who finish "High Schools" and college do not know how to do anything, they have no mastery of any craft or a skill. Sometimes that does to MA level and often to PhD. Mass education system is cheaper and offers many forms of baby sitting and entertainment which delude and prolong their educational process, sometimes they get lost on the way, forgetting what the goal was. However it is mostly waist of time spend neithter in learning not playing, or other forms of socialization. Those are some high qualifications for mediocracy, not only technical but more importantly human qualities.
Erdogan got it right there. No one will raise a kid better then a parent. Investing into development of a human being is most valuable, more over investing into your children. Children need parental attention and moral guidance more then anything, more then ever. Learning mathematical equations is easy. Helping to form a good human being who enjoys to help other is the highest art all other arts revolve around. It is better to work for your family then for another, usually, mans company.
Socialization is derailmen of the topic. Negative Socialization Yet another topic. A child can socialize with other children who have dedicated parents. I personally teach a HS kid in 1 hr what they learn in 2 wks of math classes in school. Having a tutor or being homeschooled by educated parents was once the privilege of the aristocracy, who used educational time more efficiently and had plenty of time for pro-social and meaningful socialization.
Not sure if you're trying to sound intelligent or what...but it sounds more like garbage to me. Kids need to be around other kids at an early age. That's where they learn social skills at an early age which will in turn help them in life as they grown up.
My wife has a great job with a great pension, so while daycare is not cheap at all, we opted for it because long-term it's best for our retirement. Our child is well taken care of a home and at the daycare.
This is a personal decision of the parent and nobody else's business. My sister used to tell me I was working to pay more taxes. You would think the USA needs that.
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