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Old 02-06-2010, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Ct Shoreline
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My husband is attending a memorial service next weekend in White Plains, and we are curious about what his attire should be. We are from California, and I have seen people wear a variety of things to a memorial, from a suit to a blazer and khakis, to hawaiian shirt and jeans. It seems to me that he should be wearing a suit, but he feels it is not necessary. I was just hoping to get some input so that he does not look like a jackass.
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Old 02-06-2010, 07:01 AM
 
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Last memorial we attended there were various forms of dress. It appears many of the immediate family were dressed in suits, while others wore sports jackets and khaki pants. There appears to be a correlation of less dressey when the deceased is elderly. Not sure if this helps.
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Old 02-06-2010, 12:32 PM
 
Location: Westchester County, NY
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I was going to say that I usually wear a suit when it is at least semi-immediate family or a really really close friend, but more casual otherwise (like a somewhat conservative-looking sweater or maybe just a casual dress shirt without a tie and jacket.
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Old 02-06-2010, 12:43 PM
 
Location: East Millcreek
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Much can vary according to lifestyle of the deceased and their circle. If in doubt, or you care what somebody may think, play it safe and wear a suit. That way you're guaranteed that nobody will think you're a jackass. At the opposite end of the spectrum, a Hawaiian shirt would certainly ensure that lots of people will think you're a jackass. It's winter, so avoid khakis. Instead go with grey flannel pants and a blazer if a suit is too formal for you.
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Old 02-06-2010, 08:52 PM
 
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dougnaie, what to wear may well depend on the religious affiliation, if any, of the departed.
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Old 02-06-2010, 09:03 PM
 
Location: Washington, DC & New York
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Usually, a conservative, dark suit, and subtle tie are appropriate for the service. I have worn some odd ties, and was even requested to wear a bright polo shirt, khakis, and a blazer to a service once because the deceased wanted people to be dressed as they would have been for one of their summer barbecues. Absent a specific request, I agree that it's much better to err on the side of conservatism for a funeral/memorial.
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Old 02-07-2010, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Ct Shoreline
369 posts, read 1,874,183 times
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Thanks, everyone, for the insights...they are much appreciated. He will go with the dark suit and play it safe!
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Old 02-07-2010, 07:37 AM
 
1,594 posts, read 3,168,785 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dougnaie View Post
My husband is attending a memorial service next weekend in White Plains, and we are curious about what his attire should be. We are from California, and I have seen people wear a variety of things to a memorial, from a suit to a blazer and khakis, to hawaiian shirt and jeans. It seems to me that he should be wearing a suit, but he feels it is not necessary. I was just hoping to get some input so that he does not look like a jackass.
He can wear a suit or look like a disrespectful jackass. His call.
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Old 02-08-2010, 09:25 AM
 
374 posts, read 975,484 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dougnaie View Post
My husband is attending a memorial service next weekend in White Plains, and we are curious about what his attire should be. We are from California, and I have seen people wear a variety of things to a memorial, from a suit to a blazer and khakis, to hawaiian shirt and jeans. It seems to me that he should be wearing a suit, but he feels it is not necessary. I was just hoping to get some input so that he does not look like a jackass.
Personally, I don't think wearing a suit is necessary if its not someone you know personally. for instance a relative of a colleague. Just wear something black and conservative to show your respect. Like black khakiz and a black sweater. Obviously if its close family/friend, you want to wear a suit.

I've been to an Indian funeral where people wore white to show respect.
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