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So . . my daughter and son-in-law went on a long car trip with HIS family this past weekend for a family reunion. They drove 2 vans to southeast Pennsylvania from west central NC. Left on Friday, spent the day there yesterday and are driving back today.
Just to give the back story, my daughter is pregnant and has a congenital heart condition - so I *very* gently tried to discourage her from going because I worry about her riding for that long and frankly, I don't trust his family anyhow. (She is 26 weeks pregnant.) Her OB doc said that traveling was still ok at this point.
On the way there, everything was fine. They had a nice time and the family reunion went well yesterday. They left Lewisburg, PA at approx. 9:30 this morning - should have been back to the Statesville, NC no later than perhaps 6 or 6:30 this evening. According to Google maps, taking the longest route possible, it says approx. 8 hours. THEY ARE STILL ON THE ROAD AT 10:30 PM E.T. Still more than an hour away from Statesville, due to his father and uncle stopping repeatedly to eat, gas up, chit chat, etc. and THEN took a wrong turn and drove for an HOUR in the wrong direction. UGH - it's 1 road, folks. Interstate 81 to Interstate 77 - there's no way it should take 13-14 hours. They don't use GPS - too "new fangled" for them.
Anyways, my daughter is very frustrated, miserable and achy. She and her husband both work at 7 a.m. tomorrow and are depended upon to open the retail stores where they work. (They both work as ass't managers for the same chain, just different store locations.)
AND to top it all off, they still have to drive themselves home from Statesville - it's about a 90 min to 2 hr drive home from there. (My daughter and son in law live in western NC.)
I feel this is so beyond rude and inconsiderate. I just had to vent. Of course, I am here at home worried sick and not able to sleep. I know I can't do anything to change the situation, but I just can't close my eyes until I know they're home safe. If anything, this is a valuable lesson to them NOT to travel with his family. As I understand it, they almost always take at least 1 1/2 to 2 times longer to get anywhere then what they plan for - and not unintentionally.
Of course you worry, thats what parents do, but you must realize that they are adults and can or should be able to take care of themselves. Who on this forum, when they were younger, hasn't pushed the envelope a bit with late nights, long drives and little sleep and then working an 8 hour day. One other thing I would say, born from experience, DO NOT show any animosity towards your Daughters inlaws and DO NOT make that animosity known to your Daughter. Keep it to your self or you will strain relationships with husband and wife, you and Daughter and everyone else. It's her "other" family now, quirks and all.
Of course you worry, thats what parents do, but you must realize that they are adults and can or should be able to take care of themselves. Who on this forum, when they were younger, hasn't pushed the envelope a bit with late nights, long drives and little sleep and then working an 8 hour day. One other thing I would say, born from experience, DO NOT show any animosity towards your Daughters inlaws and DO NOT make that animosity known to your Daughter. Keep it to your self or you will strain relationships with husband and wife, you and Daughter and everyone else. It's her "other" family now, quirks and all.
Under any other circumstances, I would 100% agree with you - but her father in law was the primary driver and he is an absolute narcissist - and is known to be abusive and manipulative.
For example, he tried to take credit for my daughter's wedding last year for which he did not contribute 1 thin dime (!!) my ex husband and I paid everything out of our own pockets. He refused to get dressed up when everyone else was in formal attire, made a scene with his ex-wife about sitting next to her in church for the ceremony, and tried to take over the professional photographer to get pictures of him and his girlfriend - just to name a few of the awkward and embarrassing moments.
Oh and he shirked on the rehearsal dinner at the last moment after initially offering to pay for it, leaving us holding the bag.
Then, he had the gall to beg for money from MY family when he couldn't make ends meet (he's 62 and a professional "student" = he hasn't worked in years) and when my ex husband and I said "no" to him, he tried to one up us and went to my daughter's grandparents to ask for money. And we're not talking just a small amount of money - he was asking for thousands. Wisely, they also said "no".
This is one of the many reasons that I am a bit jaded when it comes to his family. Yes - I love my son in law very much and think the world of him, but thankfully he is nothing like his father.
Without the time to analyze the family situation (sorry) I will tell you that when I drove from suburban Washington DC (MD) to Black Mountain, NC, within the past couple of weeks, I was shocked how long it took me to get there and back each way. Computer had said 7 hours. It took me 9 even with just two quick bathroom stops. Also, the truck traffic on 81 and 77 was heavy and scary. Hope your family came through ok.
I think you are far too involved in your daughter's life if you are so upset about a road trip. She is an adult and none of this directly affects you, after all, you're not related to this man. Let your daughter and son-in-law handle him. Your hovering over her, and your animosity towards your son-in-law's family will come back to bite you if you're not careful.
I think you are far too involved in your daughter's life if you are so upset about a road trip. She is an adult and none of this directly affects you, after all, you're not related to this man. Let your daughter and son-in-law handle him. Your hovering over her, and your animosity towards your son-in-law's family will come back to bite you if you're not careful.
Just something to consider.
These are good points. I agree with the advice, though I realize none was requested. But maybe it will not fall on deaf ears.
I think you are far too involved in your daughter's life if you are so upset about a road trip. She is an adult and none of this directly affects you, after all, you're not related to this man. Let your daughter and son-in-law handle him. Your hovering over her, and your animosity towards your son-in-law's family will come back to bite you if you're not careful.
Just something to consider.
Considering I said the same thing and I agree with your assessment, someone, to remain unnamed, thought I was being rude and deleted my comment. Must have the same oppressive hovering tendencies.
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These are good points. I agree with the advice, though I realize none was requested. But maybe it will not fall on deaf ears.
