Can't decide where to live (Milwaukee, Madison: crime rates, homes, transfer)

[MovingCrossCountry]

I am hoping you all can give me some good advice. I am looking for a place to live with my family (husband and two very small babies).

We live in California right now and are fed up with it. We want a place in Wisconsin (basically because we already crossed out every other state we DIDN'T want to live in, and WI is what's left).

But we aren't sure which area in WI would be best for our family. We have a list of the most important things to us, but neither of us have ever been there, so we can only get so much info from city profiles - and can't really get a real FEEL of what the different cities are like. And I know some of you are going to say if we're thinking about moving that far, we should visit first - but that's not an option for various reasons.

My husband works in IT, so we need to be a commute's ride away from a somewhat large city. However, we both want to live in a very small, very safe community - you know, like one where everyone knows one another.
We want it to have good values and be very family oriented. Can anyone suggest anything?

We were thinking either Kenosha or Middleton, but like I said we may be way off track. I thought Kenosha would be good because he could take the metra into work. And I thought Middleton might be good because it seems like a safe small place that was rated highly. But what do you guys think? Am I way off? Thanks - Angela

[godslittlestangel]

well my first question to you then would be what would you class as big city seeing as how there are at least three. I live in wisconsin but the city I live in would be classed I believe as somewhere in between big and small. Then I would tell you to do some research and find out what city your husband's job would be transfered to. After that I would look to see what city is the closest to than and go from there. I have lived in Wisconsin all my life and I can honenstly say that Oshkosh is very dull which is the city I live in. Oshkosh is in the Northeastern part of the state and doesn't have much to do. Appleton is three cities north of Oshoksh that has more then just a park and YMCA to go to. We don't have a lot of places that you could send your kids to so that they can meet new friends but if they take the bus and go up to Appleton, and I think you could class Appleton as one of the bigger cities here in Wisconsin.... anyways I hope I have helped. If you have any other questions that you think I could answer then you can e-mail me at [email]godslittlestangel2000@yahoo.com[/email]

[MovingCrossCountry]

well, a big city to me is just big enough that there are some tech companies that would have the budget to be able to pay my husband a decent salary. But we want to actually make a home in a small city thats very friendly and has old fashioned values. we don't care so much about lots of things to do as we can always go for a drive to the bigger city. i don't know, maybe i'm asking too much
maybe to live in a population of about 20,000. and a close enough city of about 100,000 or more for my husband to commute to...

[BacktoNE]

So am I correct that your DH doesn't have a job yet, but wants to be near the larger areas to increase his odds?

I can't speak to the southern cities of Milwaukee and Madison as I haven't lived there. Just driving thru, I would choose Madison over Milwaukee but that really isn't a good basis for making a decision.

The other choice would be Green Bay. While I wouldn't choose to live right in GB, there are some nice smaller "bedroom" towns just outside the city. DePere comes to mind immediately. Appleton is just a half hour drive south of GB so definitely an easy commute. Both DePere and Appleton schools have good reputations, although with the usual budget issues common to most schools these days. Appleton's population is around 73,000 but you could live just a few minutes east of the city in Little Chute, Kimberly or Buchanan, or 5 minutes west of town in Greenville which is a very pleasant small town.

[MovingCrossCountry]

The great thing is that my DH can find work pretty much anywhere where there's ample enough population to support companies that can pay his salary. So, we're basically trying to find the town we want to live in first, and then as long as it's within a 30-60 mile commute of a bigger city, he can find work. but, yes definitely we're looking for the town we want to live first.

I am starting to get discouraged because every town I look at on the net seems good at first but then starts to look worse the more i investigate. i wish i could describe the picture of what i want in my head, but i guess i'll just know it when i see it

[Hntr]

I think any of our larger cities would fit your DH's needs for employment. As far as a small town to live in, you travel 15 miles in any direction from any of these cities and you will be in the country, with many small towns to pick from.

[BacktoNE]

Originally Posted by MovingCrossCountry

The great thing is that my DH can find work pretty much anywhere where there's ample enough population to support companies that can pay his salary. So, we're basically trying to find the town we want to live in first, and then as long as it's within a 30-60 mile commute of a bigger city, he can find work. but, yes definitely we're looking for the town we want to live first.

I am starting to get discouraged because every town I look at on the net seems good at first but then starts to look worse the more i investigate. i wish i could describe the picture of what i want in my head, but i guess i'll just know it when i see it

Maybe it would help us if you could say what it is that you are seeing online that you DON'T like about the towns you've looked at so far. Or if you can try to pinpoint what you are visualizing in your mind, tell us that because one of us might recognize a town that fits what is in your imagination. With 49 other States to choose from, what was it about WI that made you decide this was the place for you?

[JoshB]

I would check out the Waukesha County area as well as Port Washington.

[MovingCrossCountry]

Thanks everyone for your patience with me here....

OK, let me try to make myself a little more clear. BackToOne, you asked why WI and not the other 49 states. Well, I started crossing off states with bad crime rates first, as safety is the most important quality for me. Then I crossed off a few states that I just really think I would not like because of culture or maybe just preconceived notions (i'll admit it) - and that took out Texas and Louisiana and Florida. Umm, then I crossed off any states that would have a lot of weather problems like really bad hurricanes, tornadoes, etc.. (again, safety). Then I took out any states that would be expensive to live in, which ended up getting rid of where I originally wanted to live (the New England states). And that left me with only about ten states or so to choose from. Out of those I looked at healthcare, comparing cost of living, salaries, weather, etc. And was able to narrow it back down to about 2 - Wisconsin and Virginia. Then I looked at homeschooling laws (we plan to homeschool all our children) - and the state laws in Virginia are much more rigorous and include some mandates that I didn't like, so........ according to everything I looked at - Wisconsin is the best state in the nation!! Congratulations!
Anyway, as far as what I'm looking for in my mind - someplace with really great cost of living, beautiful and well maintained town, SAFE (keep your doors unlocked kind of place), and solid old fashioned values, a place where everyone knows one another and is friendly.
When I say a town seems good at first, then worse on closer inspection, I mean this: One town I was looking at that seemed really nice and decent ended up having this club advertised where they had pictures up of these middle-school aged girls dancing in cages with barely nothing on!! Not exactly old-fashioned values to my mind. I know I'm going to find disgusting things like that everywhere to some degree, but would like to go to a place that has it to the most minimal degree as possible.
Hope I don't sound strange about this, but that was a really small, remote town, and if that's going on even there, what chance do i have of finding a decent place with some morals to raise our family or do they even exist anymore?

[BacktoNE]

All of that information helps. Hopefully Kate Daum will see your post and be able to offer more advice. Her DH relocates people to WI so she has access to all kinds of information and has been very helpful to others in the past.