two rivers, wi- thoughts for family of lgbt member (Milwaukee: 2014, rent)

[43north87west]

Originally Posted by fl_trekkies

Research and a love of what my husband and I would like from an area took us to Two Rivers, WI.

Are you for real? Wisconsin is ranked VERY POOR on trans rights issues. You said you are moving for your transgender son, you talk about worrying about his well being, about bathroom rights, then you say that your research led you to a small town in Wisconsin?! What on earth were you researching?

Move to the left coast or Colorado. If you must have a Midwestern state, then Minnesota is good for that.

I can't even believe that this is for real, but if it is, you're way off track.

[Rynldsbr]

Originally Posted by thefragile

And by this, what you really mean is 'If he never mentions it or no one ever finds out, he'll do just fine."

Maybe read before posting. You got defensive immediately & for no reason. Very telling.

OP, as you just mentioned, I would stick with Milwaukee or Madison. I'd avoid anything smaller with a 10 foot pole. The people in those smaller places just lack any type of empathy or ability to accept those unlike themselves.

Interestingly, I think several of your points are of value but the last sentence here just stings with broad brush generalities of a snobby progressive that will hate all of small town America for no reason. Where we lived in WI was the nicest community I have ever lived in with people that welcomed LGBT, ethnic minority, and all types of different cultures into a town of 2,800 people.

[TRlaura]

Originally Posted by thefragile

OP, as you just mentioned, I would stick with Milwaukee or Madison. I'd avoid anything smaller with a 10 foot pole. The people in those smaller places just lack any type of empathy or ability to accept those unlike themselves.

Yes, thefragile has provided excellent advice. Milwaukee especially is a world class city second to none. You simply cannot go wrong with with your choice. I wish you well.

[thefragile]

Originally Posted by Rynldsbr

Interestingly, I think several of your points are of value but the last sentence here just stings with broad brush generalities of a snobby progressive that will hate all of small town America for no reason. Where we lived in WI was the nicest community I have ever lived in with people that welcomed LGBT, ethnic minority, and all types of different cultures into a town of 2,800 people.

Oh I know, not all smaller communities are like that, to be sure. It's more of a generalization which I think many people could agree that on average, smaller communities tend to lean that way. And I don't hate small towns at all, Rhinelander is basically my home away from home. My choice for living situation would be either the city or up north, I couldn't do the suburbs.

[GraniteStater]

Originally Posted by thefragile

Oh I know, not all smaller communities are like that, to be sure. It's more of a generalization which I think many people could agree that on average, smaller communities tend to lean that way. And I don't hate small towns at all, Rhinelander is basically my home away from home. My choice for living situation would be either the city or up north, I couldn't do the suburbs.

I'm not a fan of a number of rural areas in the US, but I love visiting up north by the UP.

[43north87west]

Originally Posted by anonnym

My son presents well. He appears to be a 16 year old boy whom could pass as a gay young man.

Really? Go on, how does a gay young man "present"?

I think this thread belongs in the parenting forum, but with respect to Wisconsin, it's probably not for you. Believe me. It's a nice place, but you need to be in a different one.

[brrabbit]

Regardless of presentation or choice of clothes, they shouldn't be bullied either in school or in forum. No?

[adr3naline]

Originally Posted by brrabbit

Regardless of presentation or choice of clothes, they shouldn't be bullied either in school or in forum. No?

I don't believe anyone is saying they should be bullied. If your comment was in response to mine (not clear), I'm merely pointing out kids can be monsters.

[nyfamilyfarm]

I never wanted to confront anyone. I can't use the right words and don't know how-I'm not even up to date on technology much less sharp enough to combat anyone that confronts us on a regular basis; I'm just a parent who has been listening to my son and learning to make him happy. I'm not a politician nor do I have any kind of stand. I want simply to be happy and our family left alone. I don't know how to fight back and I never wanted to. My husband and I are quiet people trying to work, take care of our children and live our life. I don't want to have to defend us for any reason. I don't want to be noticed and neither does my family. I'm not angry, I'm tired. We all are. My life and what I wrote are simply that. It's why I have to be so careful. My health is not so good anymore, we work any extra we can to make sure my son always has what he needs and send them to college. We would love to go to California, Colorado, Washington. I know that's best but we are not wealthy and our expenses will always be more for what my son needs. We need to be sure we can work with a cut on whatever we can get and be able to have plenty for our entire family's future.

I think we will have to be careful no matter where we go. We love WI; it's so beautiful. We wanted a balance for all of us. Believe me, my son is first in our family for everything we do. He has cried to us for the fact that he hates himself for it. He is such a really good hearted young person and he loves us. I am so proud of him. We will do whatever we can for him and we do. I don't need to say what he has gone through because this world is filled with people whom just can't understand. I can only tell you it breaks my heart in more ways then you can possibly imagine to not be able to give him every possible happiness we can despite working every night 2 jobs to do that, taking losses on our home and trying to find a life for us. You just can't know how that feels until you are faced with it. We are met with hate in different levels everywhere. You don't have to believe me and you won't because it hasn't happened to you.

I've never thwarted my son's job attempts. I went to the managers of just a few of the numerous positions he never got calls back for and only because they were places that hire anyone off the streets, didn't call back for over a month after saying to him that they would and the sign staying up needing more workers; it's why we went there. I won't name the businesses but the chains are large enough.

You just won't understand until you can live this life and I don't think you can even try to understand because to do so would be to face a life you couldn't imagine.

I honestly don't know where we will go and our best choices. I didn't find anything bad about WI either way and any state can be a difficult place for us in the future. It's why I came here and exposed myself. I got the answer and it was helpful for that.

[Rynldsbr]

Originally Posted by TRlaura

Yes, thefragile has provided excellent advice. Milwaukee especially is a world class city second to none. You simply cannot go wrong with with your choice. I wish you well.

Here is the OP's original quote, and highlighted are the points where Milwaukee fails.
"We are looking for a place where we can live privately and in peace. He was able to obtain his GED even though his last testing center was closed for a couple days recently, due to the hate against transgender and protests (just after the election) outside the center. It really scared us- we've been facing angry and offensive things thrown at us and a lot of loss of friends after understanding our son's transgender for years but we never saw so much violence. We put our home up for sale and are expected to close in a few months. We own the home outright and have a healthy savings but we pay a lot in costs to help my son (along with having a 16 year old daughter whom we've been home schooling this past year). We can afford to purchase a home outright and can find work doing anything while maintaining our savings.

Research and a love of what my husband and I would like from an area took us to Two Rivers, WI. We don't want nor expect to be welcomed but would like to live in a place where my son can live without anger and hate against him and where he can at least drive to a job even outside the area (we were thinking to work in Manitowoc?) and just get his feet wet before he can get to training on what he loves. We have to think of our daughter too as she has a future and deserves a safe neighborhood to grow up in. We can continue to home school her but she's gone through a lot too and is a pretty special kid; she can need a normal time with a friend or two she can keep.

This is difficult for me to post; please understand this is a mother and a family whom loves their family member and just wanting to live in peace. We don't want to move to a place our family can suffer more. My husband and I really want to be in an area where we can walk in the neighborhood every day; we camp, we love nature and we live for our two chihuahuas. We are responsible people whom would like to go into retirement with some sort of hope to be in a place we can love and have our family happy.

Any assistance is really appreciated. Thank you."

Please tell us what Milwaukee neighborhood is non-violent, comparable in any way to Two Rivers, safe for a teenage daughter, walkable, close to nature and good for those who like to camp? Milwaukee is the most racially, socially, economically, and politically divided city in the nation with recent outbreaks of violence and rioting and you are thinking this is a winning combination for an LGBT family from the south because...(?)


There are a number of areas in Wisconsin, including my hometown and surrounding counties, that would never be a good idea for OP or most non-native people to move to. Great to visit, not great to live in. Milwaukee falls in the same category - great to visit, not great to live in.