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I have kind of felt that way in my life as well. For some reason I have always had more trouble finding jobs than my friends, even ones who I went to college with and had basically the exact same resume as when we graduated in engineering. They got tons of offers, I struggled to get just one and was glad to take it even though it wasn't even what I went to school for.
Then I had to move a few times due to my husband's job and every time, I really struggled just getting an interview. I never had more than one job offer, unlike my friends who were getting several offers and pitting them against each other to get higher salaries.
I have been frustrated every time this happens and feel like I'm probably making a lot less than they are now, 6 years after graduation. Can't be sure because I think it'd be rude and invasive to ask them what they make and it's really none of my business anyway. But I feel like it must be a "luck of the draw" type of thing and try not to look at their success as a reason for me to feel bad about my own situation. I still have a job, I make decent money, and I don't feel anger towards them for having a better job or making more money, even tho I still want that for myself too.
You can be happy for others and still want more for yourself. I know it's hard to listen to someone brag about something you wish you had. Maybe you can say that you'd like to advance your career too and ask for advice or tips. That's what I've done with my friends and they tell me what has worked for them. It also sort of clues them in that it might make you feel bad if they brag too much and if they are a good friend, they will understand the situation. Hopefully you can both give a little, your friend being sensitive to your situation and you showing more true happiness for your friend's good news.
Try to put yourself in your friend's situation. Wouldn't you want people to be excited and happy for you if you finally got the job you've been wanting?
Welps, having the same job title doesn't necessarily mean you have the same responsibilities. Some CRCs are just responsible for recruiting, scheduling, data collection & entry, some CRCs are responsible for all regulatory, some CRCs are also data managers/analysts, some CRCs are involved with the actual development of protocols, etc... there are all sorts of combinations of the above and more. Also, working at a larger, more prestigious institution has more weight than working at a smaller, local institution. Further, what disease group you are in can also make a big difference.
Maybe first, make small moves. If you're at a smaller, local institution, try to look for a position at a larger one. If you already work at a well-known one, then perhaps look at other departments who give their CRCs more responsibilities than you already have. Or even stay at your present job and ask for more responsibilities. From there, you can work your way up. You already have a networking resource at your fingertips: the CROs and the sponsors that you are in constant contact with. HUGE plus!
I had been sort of envious of a friends job. She had SCEP'd into a Federal job doing the same thing that I do. I have a job in the private sector in a consulting company (I do like my job). She probably is paid a lot more than I am. When she got her Masters she is supposed to get a permanent job there. She settled into the town, bought a house. Has a horse and big dogs. Got it made.
So she graduated and recently found out that she will not be offered a perm job at that office (maybe due to sequester). So now she is frantically looking all over the western US for a perm position to stay in the Fed. Not sure what she will do with her house and horse.
Welps, having the same job title doesn't necessarily mean you have the same responsibilities. Some CRCs are just responsible for recruiting, scheduling, data collection & entry, some CRCs are responsible for all regulatory, some CRCs are also data managers/analysts, some CRCs are involved with the actual development of protocols, etc... there are all sorts of combinations of the above and more. Also, working at a larger, more prestigious institution has more weight than working at a smaller, local institution. Further, what disease group you are in can also make a big difference.
Maybe first, make small moves. If you're at a smaller, local institution, try to look for a position at a larger one. If you already work at a well-known one, then perhaps look at other departments who give their CRCs more responsibilities than you already have. Or even stay at your present job and ask for more responsibilities. From there, you can work your way up. You already have a networking resource at your fingertips: the CROs and the sponsors that you are in constant contact with. HUGE plus!
I actually have more responsiblity than she does....we used to work in the same office, so I know...
She works on 2 trials. I work on 8 now. We are both at large research/academic hospitals (different disease groups though)...
Thanks for the genuine input and recommendations though...I did get a good review and my manager said she wants to see me in a management role for our multi-site trials, which would be an opportunity for growth and more money. The green eyed monster just has me focusing on the fact that my friend made that cross over to the higher paying/more pretisgious private sector, which was my goal too
Over the past couple of years I have begun to have a problem with jealousy...I don't recall ever feeling this way in the past, at least not for an extended period of time...and DEFINITELY not this often.
Anywho, the most recent example happened today. I have a friend that lives out of state and we have the same type of job...same job title, different companies. I started searching for a job title called a CRA...its the next step above what I do now. My friend has been looking for one since last year.
Anywho, she's 6 years younger than me and super smart. She just got contacted for a CRA job this week through LinkedIn. Why am I super PISSED??? It is the strangest feeling. I feel as if her getting this position first makes her better than me...and the fact that she's younger and I've been working longer than her makes it worse.
(On top of that, she likes to brag, so I'm going to have to hear about how much more money she's making and how she's so proud of the fact that she got this job without knowing someone in the company, etc etc for quite a while...she did this the last promotion she got)
The bigger question is...what is happening to me? Is it possible I'm so miserable in my own life that all of a sudden I've become incapable of being happy for others when they get something they want?? When she IM'ed me about the potential new position, I literally had to 'fake it' and pretend I was happy for her when I wasn't....and quickly signed off. I was literally angry as if someone had done something to me...why am I feeling this way??
Why don't you channel your energy currently being exerted to finding one of these jobs yourself or busting your butt in your current role to get an internal promotion to this title? This seems much more productive.
If you can't get that out of your head, why don't you go away somewhere for a few days and unwind, then come back in a better place, with a more positive attitude?
Why don't you channel your energy currently being exerted to finding one of these jobs yourself or busting your butt in your current role to get an internal promotion to this title? This seems much more productive.
If you can't get that out of your head, why don't you go away somewhere for a few days and unwind, then come back in a better place, with a more positive attitude?
Well I was already channelling my energy towards finding the job I want...I'm working on the attitude/envy part
First of all, I would stop calling yourself a "friend."
Friends are elevated and enjoy seeing things come to those they love.
Next, I do think you are ahead of the curve. Most people would not have the insight to realize that unhappiness derived from the joy of others tends to come from an unhappiness within themselves.
Her getting the job says nothing bad about you. Focus on what is great in your life and avoid making comparisons. Especially with people you love.
Well than the same could be said about the OP's "friend".
Per the OP "On top of that, she likes to brag, so I'm going to have to hear about how much more money she's making and how she's so proud of the fact that she got this job without knowing someone in the company, etc etc for quite a while...she did this the last promotion she got".
What kind of "friend" is that insensitive to another friend when you know there also looking for a better job? A real friend would just say they were offered a new position and not gloat about it, especially knowing their friend is looking for work.
I give the OP credit for being honest and perhaps if the "friend" were more low key about their job knowing that the OP is also looking for a new job and didn't go on and on and flaunt it the OP wouldn't feel the way they do.
There are a lot of people who are very insensitive to other people's situations, and don't think before they speak.
Over the past couple of years I have begun to have a problem with jealousy...I don't recall ever feeling this way in the past, at least not for an extended period of time...and DEFINITELY not this often.
Anywho, the most recent example happened today. I have a friend that lives out of state and we have the same type of job...same job title, different companies. I started searching for a job title called a CRA...its the next step above what I do now. My friend has been looking for one since last year.
Anywho, she's 6 years younger than me and super smart. She just got contacted for a CRA job this week through LinkedIn. Why am I super PISSED??? It is the strangest feeling. I feel as if her getting this position first makes her better than me...and the fact that she's younger and I've been working longer than her makes it worse.
(On top of that, she likes to brag, so I'm going to have to hear about how much more money she's making and how she's so proud of the fact that she got this job without knowing someone in the company, etc etc for quite a while...she did this the last promotion she got)
The bigger question is...what is happening to me? Is it possible I'm so miserable in my own life that all of a sudden I've become incapable of being happy for others when they get something they want?? When she IM'ed me about the potential new position, I literally had to 'fake it' and pretend I was happy for her when I wasn't....and quickly signed off. I was literally angry as if someone had done something to me...why am I feeling this way??
Can't waste energy worrying about your friends financial situation, only YOUR FINANCIAL SITUATION. I have friends who make more money than me and then I have friends who make less money than me. No point in worrying aboiut it
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