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Old 09-12-2013, 01:35 PM
 
16,719 posts, read 16,423,732 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by etjaipleure View Post
The thing is...I'm not new. I have already been here for two years :/ and he just keeps getting WORSE AND WORSE! This is going to sound SO CRAZY I know because it sounds crazy to me and how could someone think like this.......but.....me and his wife are both pregnant and oddly enough have the same name haha......but he desperately wanted a boy. He found out he was having a girl. He had been talking about the baby NONSTOP and then...just stopped. Like, never mentioned the baby again. He didn't even TELL any of us it was a girl. We just found out. But he never says anything about it anymore. I am having a boy. I know that sounds ridiculous.........but............he could be upset that I'm having a boy? And he's having a girl? I mean surely not right. Right?
That IS weird. Maybe he is jealous. But come on, who does that??

And what does his wife think about him hating the baby now that it's a girl? That's not good, not good at all.
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Old 09-12-2013, 01:48 PM
 
2,845 posts, read 5,388,915 times
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These deadlines he's imposing on you, what about everyone else? What does everyone else think? How many others are under him?

Sounds like he's trying to find excuses to get rid of people by making things harder and harder.

Since you are pregnant I wouldn't look for work (didn't realize you were) because that will make it harder to find a new job.

You might want to speak to HR about your workload and demands as your pregnancy progresses.

I'd ask him flat out if he has any problems with your performance and what you can do to improve. To bad he doesn't like confrontation, if he refuses to respond or gives unsatisfactory or rude responses I'd let him know you will have to go up a level and have a meeting with a higher up as well him to understand what is going on because you feel animosity and would HOPE that it has nothing to do with your current state. I would state that in an email and CC to HR and a higher up. BCC all emails to a third party email also. Pregnancy is a touchy issue with EEOC and if things were fine before your pregnancy, you might have a case, HR won't want to deal with that! It might take a bit of prodding from the higher ups to help him adjust his attitude.

Was he like this from the beginning when you started working there?
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:06 PM
 
Location: Corona the I.E.
10,139 posts, read 15,378,756 times
Reputation: 9074
Oh agreed beera missed the pregnant part. They are trying to force you out because you are pregnant. Heck my wife one time made the mistake of telling a prospective employer that we were thinking of starting a family and that was it no advance in hiring process no offer. This was my pre CD days.
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:15 PM
 
2,845 posts, read 5,388,915 times
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BTW the BCC of the email is so that you have proof of the issues- I'd honestly forward EVERY email he has sent you to another email to have.
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:23 PM
 
16,719 posts, read 16,423,732 times
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Yes, send them to your personal email like Gmail or somewhere you can get it, not from work.
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:23 PM
 
Location: Las Vegas, NV
2,761 posts, read 2,562,041 times
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Could be worse.... could be this!!.... From the movie OFFICE SPACE!



Peter Gibbons: The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.
Bob Porter: Don't... don't care?
Peter Gibbons: It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.
Bob Slydell: I beg your pardon?
Peter Gibbons: Eight bosses.
Bob Slydell: Eight?
Peter Gibbons: Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.
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Old 09-12-2013, 02:56 PM
 
Location: Texas!!! It's hot but I don't care :)
559 posts, read 1,365,608 times
Reputation: 252
HAHA except in Office Space he got promoted...

He was like this before I got pregnant and now it's just worse...like.....I don't think he's trying to get RID of me but I don't really understand what his problem IS. I see my kids and I do the paperwork and do EXTRA still! Before I got pregnant he would just do weird little things like only talk to this counselor about a group I was running. And she was like ask her I don't run that group! He never would. EVER. I just don't get it. On my reviews everything is great. I never have a bad review. I never have any disciplinary action. I just don't understand it! Luckily, in my field, being pregnant is not really an issue as it takes a LONG time to build up clients so if I were to get a new job, I would spend the time before and during maternity leave to market and get clients, so it is possible for me to find clients while being pregnant.

I really hope that it just goes away when I come back from maternity leave. And that he stops doing whatever this weird thing is that he is doing.

There are five us under him, a new person is going to start while I am on leave. They say they never have problems with him but I wonder if they are actually telling the truth. Two of them are older, so I don't think he would confront them based on age and being in the field longer. The other is a girl my age, a couple years younger, and he thinks she is the best thing ever but she does not do "counseling". She does more the correctional side of things and loves paperwork and is amazing at it. I am not like that. I do the job I was hired to do, which is provide REAL true psychotherapy to the incarcerated youth and I even do more than that. A lot of stuff I do comes out of my own pocket and he doesn't understand why I would do anything like that and has made a couple mocking comments about it at our group meetings. I really don't get it. I think the only thing I can do is confront him and ask him if there is a problem or something. It will make things even more uncomfortable, I know, but I'm not sure what else to do.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:04 PM
 
2,681 posts, read 3,250,627 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colorado xxxxx View Post
Oh agreed beera missed the pregnant part. They are trying to force you out because you are pregnant. Heck my wife one time made the mistake of telling a prospective employer that we were thinking of starting a family and that was it no advance in hiring process no offer. This was my pre CD days.
Ouch, that is the unfortunate part about sharing too much of your personal life at work. It is best never to overshare personal details in your life. I have learned that the hard way in the past.

As for the MicroManager, the OP needs to try to stay a few steps ahead figuring out what this person will zero in on and be prepared to get whatever it is done completed earlier than expected. I loathe MMs but in some jobs there is more of it than with others.

I have had them in the past and I would try to move to another department to avoid them. You cannot always do this, but you just try to stay above the fray as much as possible and put on your best happy-fakey "Poker Face" when dealing with such a manager. In most cases, your manager can "hire or fire" you, just keep that in mind if you want to stay on the job.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Texas!!! It's hot but I don't care :)
559 posts, read 1,365,608 times
Reputation: 252
Quote:
Originally Posted by maus View Post
Ouch, that is the unfortunate part about sharing too much of your personal life at work. It is best never to overshare personal details in your life. I have learned that the hard way in the past.

As for the MicroManager, the OP needs to try to stay a few steps ahead figuring out what this person will zero in on and be prepared to get whatever it is done completed earlier than expected. I loathe MMs but in some jobs there is more of it than with others.

I have had them in the past and I would try to move to another department to avoid them. You cannot always do this, but you just try to stay above the fray as much as possible and put on your best happy-fakey "Poker Face" when dealing with such a manager. In most cases, your manager can "hire or fire" you, just keep that in mind if you want to stay on the job.

Well I mean I can't really HIDE the fact that I am pregnant haha. The huge protuding belly gives it away but in general no I do not talk to anyone about my personal life at work. I don't like anyone here that much I do try, just like with the paperwork. The general deadline was 5 days and I have everything done in 2. Not good enough. I see a kid and talk to his case manager and his grandmother and he comes back asking me WHY I haven't bothered to see this kid at all. Then I have to inform him about everything I have already done. So again, not good enough. I'm not sure HOW to stay ahead of him...and can't move to another department. We are the only counseling department at the facility. The other unfortunate thing is....his office is RIGHT NEXT TO MINE! I see him walking back and forth a lot, just avoiding me....it makes things even more awkward.
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Old 09-12-2013, 03:22 PM
 
2,845 posts, read 5,388,915 times
Reputation: 3724
Well if you aren't going to confront him, aren't going to go to HR, and can't get ahead of him, guess there is nothng you can do but deal with it. Not sure what else anyone else can tell you to do since you seem to shoot it all down. You need to either put on the woman panties and tell him you do not like the way he is treating you and want to be respected or let it go.

Who hired you? Sounds like it wasn't him.
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