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Old 10-26-2013, 08:35 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,395,760 times
Reputation: 3823

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my manager is contractually obliged to attend those functions because he is a manager of the company

i am a "supervisor"(I have a social work degree and license and do "supervision" in some capacity) but i am not chained to the agency via a contract like my manager is

sometimes rarely my manager will try to make it appear that the both of us are "the same" but the reality is we are not. it is always to his benefit to attend company functions not only because its his job per his contract but it also benefits him by attending. his role is precisely defined and he knows exactly what his purpose is at those functions. my role is ill defined and i resent being at a function stuffing my face floundering with no particular role or function.

if i discuss this with him hes going to pretend that he doesn't know what im talking about or ignore it

sorry again
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:04 AM
 
6,697 posts, read 7,176,773 times
Reputation: 10307
No one likes those holiday parties, but most people suck it up and attend. I am sorry that you have so many issues that make holiday parties painful. I personally would pay the ticket fee and show up for 20 minutes and bow out. You could say you are not feeling well and get the heck out.

Yes, it's a pain. Yes. it's unfair. Yes, it's a shame you work with a bunch of yahoos. But...you like your job and it's only a few nights out of the year. Maybe attend every other function.

Who knows in this economy what will happen in the future. Is the one boss you irritate the one who decides whether you are let go?
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:10 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,395,760 times
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the former ED who was irritated by me stepped down in the summer. i have no idea if he still has the right to intervene when it comes to attendance at these things. i have no idea who, if any of the new acting directors are iritated by me or not. what i am trying to say is that since my manager approached me he was probably approached by one of the new acting ED's. i can't say for a fact that any of them are irritated by me or not. all i know is that they can always send my manager out to do their dirty work because they are not going to approach me on it

my manager already told me hes not tellin g me i have to go. i have a good excuse.

its just the future that concerns me
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:14 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,395,760 times
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my manager is married with 2 kids and DOES NOT WANT to have to work on Sundays. a lot of why my manager lets me do what i want is because he knows as long as im willing to work Sundays he doesn't give a rats *** what i do. i can request Sunday off as long as i do it in advance and take my vacations just as long as everybody else

if i was feeling OK right before the party i might consider going but they give no provision to buy a ticket late. its always been like this. in fact in the past the dinners were free. however if you pledged to attend and then you didn't make it you would be charged $40.
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:19 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,395,760 times
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their only reason for their wanting me to attend is because they know i have a car and can give people rides after. then what happens hen i can't find street parking because i got home too late? than what?

if i took cabs or public transit to these events you can best bet they wouldn't be asking me to go

tell me, when somebody is discharged from employment for being politically misfitted, what are the pack of lies that the employer will use to get rid of me? what will they tell a prospective employer about me? that i was a subversive because i wouldn't give someone a ride home after an event? that i am a subversive because i like to work and not socialize?

am i going to have to hire one of those reference checking companies to see what they are telling other employers about me?
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:25 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,395,760 times
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the guy who is now acting ED hated me, bullied me for years and thinks i am a misfit. hes since then stopped tho. in fact when my mom passed 2 years ago it did seem like he tried to make some kind of amends. hes more cordial to me now but that doesn't mean he won't go behind the scenes and try to make me do what i don't have to do. its hard to say since i don't really trust management. could be hes not doing anything to me at all

sure if my lack of attendance irks him enough he can certainly get rid of me. but hes not going to document it that way (refused to attend company functions). he would pick some other reason. i don't know what that would be since just about everybody knows me as a great employee.
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:32 AM
 
3 posts, read 3,640 times
Reputation: 10
Default Have a Plan

Just let co-workers know ahead of the party you can give rides home for 10 dollars if they sign up before the party. That way you can plan when you will be leaving and how many people need a ride. They will also feel better knowing that they have a ride home.
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:41 AM
 
12,120 posts, read 30,395,760 times
Reputation: 3823
good idea. plus if they want to engage in conversation with me it will be an extra $10! so if they opt for a ride with conversation it will run them at least $20, and at those rates they might as well just call a cab on their own!! they can get conversation from their local cab driver for free!!

see, its not really about the ride, its about the acting ED's need to say "I know someone who can give you a ride" then they manipulate me into going to the party. then the acting ED gets all the credit, i pay $20 for a measly meal and then have to drive somebody home. see how it works? its a total scam
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:47 AM
 
Location: St Thomas, US Virgin Islands
24,671 posts, read 63,392,224 times
Reputation: 26605
rlrl, I realize you're just having a vent but you need to chill out. This isn't worth the blood pressure rise!
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Old 10-26-2013, 09:48 AM
 
Location: NJ
17,579 posts, read 42,345,513 times
Reputation: 16197
Is this a normal thing where you have to pay for your office party? I've never heard of that.
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