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manderly--its normal for us but i guess not normal for everyone else...!!! after all we're in The Bronx, NY!!!
we used to have fundraisers where we would have to buy a ticket if we went. i HATED those things with a vengeance
our previous parties were free but if we signed up and then didn't show up we were charged $40. since i suffer from mood swings at any given moment i always declined because i didn't want to have to pay for not showing up
this is the first year we have to pay if we go to a party
Location: Stuck on the East Coast, hoping to head West
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I'm so sorry about your health issues and losses. Give yourself a break and stop ruminating. Easier said than done, I know, but you've made your decision so try to let it go.
I do understand your anxiety, though. It is coming from the management style you work with. They're trying to manipulate you into doing what they want by creating some uncertainty and veiled threats.
For example, I worked at one place where we had company picnics. Our boss was very clear: go. If you don't you have to use vacation time and it will reflect negatively on your evaluation. Fine. I knew the stakes and could make my decision. I've also had bosses that said things like, "we (who is we?) decided that it would be great if everyone could please come to our party. We reaaalllllyyyy think you should come, etc". What does that mean? Are you planning layoffs based on party non-attendance? Are you considering me for a promotion and now I'm only getting if it I go?
The bottom line is you made your decision. Be at peace with it. For all you know, they could fire you for not attending the party. Or they could fire you after you go to the party. Who knows? Some time will give you perspective.
oh it would be sooo nice to be let go and lose my health insurance which pays for my cancer visits when my entire life revolves around the job and getting better so i can do a better job
and then being let go for something totally unrelated to the job
it just doesn't seem right
and i am all too familiar with that "who is 'we'" stuff that you mention.
to think that my career and life can be snuffed out by somebody who is even younger than i am...
well so far nobody has threatened me but i know for sure that SOMEBODY spoke to my manager about it because he doesn't give a rats *** if i go to these things or not
my manager does not ever include extraneous junk in my performance evaluations which is great. anything he writes has to do with the job i was hired for. last thing he wants is to deal with a rebuttal. hes pretty smart that way
i think this is also being triggered by the return of a former co worker who resigned 9 years ago. not well liked then, she is now going thru a divorce, returned part time but is now starting full time, and one of her responsibilities actually interfaces somewhat with my job and can create needless extra aggravation for no reason
this person had been chummy with one of the narcissists in the past and may be trying to get back into their good graces. shes like many of them, all smiles, then will stab you without a moment's notice. she will block you from expressing dissatisfaction to any higher ups and can easily serve as a "witness" if she had to. actually she is one of several people who had been so difficult in the past that i disengaged myself from those functions. i did it to spite them and i want it to stick. i have no intention of ever returning to those things ever again
im telling you, this is some way to be welcomed back to ones job after undergoing major surgery. how on earth can they expect a cooperation and duty from me when they would never ever return that favor?
i think this is also being triggered by the return of a former co worker who resigned 9 years ago. not well liked then, she is now going thru a divorce, returned part time but is now starting full time, and one of her responsibilities actually interfaces somewhat with my job and can create needless extra aggravation for no reason
this person had been chummy with one of the narcissists in the past and may be trying to get back into their good graces. shes like many of them, all smiles, then will stab you without a moment's notice. she will block you from expressing dissatisfaction to any higher ups and can easily serve as a "witness" if she had to. actually she is one of several people who had been so difficult in the past that i disengaged myself from those functions. i did it to spite them and i want it to stick. i have no intention of ever returning to those things ever again
im telling you, this is some way to be welcomed back to ones job after undergoing major surgery. how on earth can they expect a cooperation and duty from me when they would never ever return that favor?
I think you need to see someone, you have more issues than the holiday party.
I have never heard of a company charging for a christmas party, but that does not surprise me anymore.
That being said, I have always known that it was expected that you attend holiday parties, whether you wanted to or not, it was an unwritten rule and to not do so was a good way to make some powerful enemies, which it sounds like you already have made. Add in the fact that you are a supervisor and I do not know how you could not see it as a unspoken mandatory deal, not going may be breaking the last thread keeping your job in your hands at this point.
I will also agree with others, it sounds like you have more problems than just the party, it sounds like you have an unhealthy dislike for all of your coworkers, you may want to take a look in the mirror and see if maybe you are the problem, as opposed to everybody you work with.
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