Office Professional: Do you expect at least some general non work chit chat from your boss? (benefit, how to)

[Just Conversation]

I have been in the professional office world for about 25 years and have had a incredible cast of characters as coworkers and bosses but my current supervisor beats them all. He just does not talk to anyone or acknowledge anyone unless it is work related. No hellos, smiles, nods, greetings or small talk in any way.

Since he has started our very social team, has talked about him non stop, they all say they have never seen anyone so unfriendly. We have tried to challenge each other to a contest- the first person to engage Ed in a non work related conversation lasting more than 10 seconds wins a prize. So far, none of us have had any luck. (We are all middle aged highly skilled college educated professionals.)

Yes, Ed, the boss can talk. He is quite talkative when he tells us what to do and complain about our work. But it ends there.

Management and organizational experts: What do you think of Ed's style of supervision and workplace communication?

[cbr11]

Maybe he is trying to lead by example of how he wants your 'very social team' to work..... that being 'quietly'.


I am one of those people who prefers not a lot of non- work interaction. I am by no means anti-social or an introvert- I just am way more efficient when I am not interrupted by a coworker wanting to talk about last night's episode of The Bachelor or their kids. Being aloof is not rude. It could also be that Ed wants/needs to set a professional line. If he got talkative, would anyone think he was getting in their business? These are things people in professional management should be thinking about.


Unless he is outright rude or nasty to you all, I would suggest not pushing your luck-- you could have a micro- managing Chatty Cathy (which would be worse, IMO).

[Just Conversation]

He does not even say good morning, good bye or hello and when he passes people in the hall first thing in the morning he does not smile or nod. Nothing.

Not just me, but the entire team.

[cbr11]

Then let Ed be. Some people just don't care to say hello.


Maybe he feels like people are watching his every move and he doesn't want to give you all any fodder for your little contest you all mentioned.


Maybe he just doesn't like you.


You're an adult. Get over it.

[newJerseyPinky]

Your group sounds extremely social-oriented, and Ed's at the other end of the spectrum being extremely task-oriented. Neither is right or wrong; however, it would probably benefit the entire group, including Ed, to understand how others view work, process, engagement, motivation, etc. Once you understand this, your approaches may change and you will all be successful in engaging each other. Just understand that Ed is probably uncomfortable with small-talk and chit-chat, and is a bottom-line, get-to-the-point type of person.

[BostonMike7]

My boss (Director of Engineering) and I frequently go drinking and tell dirty jokes. I like him

[Serious Conversation]

I don't want or need to know big details about their personal lives, but if you ask simple small talk questions and no one will answer, it looks overly stiff.

[G-fused]

Ever read the Dale Carnegie classic "How to win friends and influence people"? Look in Ed's office and see if there is anything in there to strike his fancy in order to get him to converse.

Not being very social and sharing many personal details is fine of course. But when someone doesn't conform to basic social norms (saying good morning and other things like that), that is out of the ordinary and deserves some examination. So I say, good for you for examining OP. Keep prodding.

[randomlikeme]

Maybe Ed says hello but what they really want is, "Hello, how are kids? what did you do last night?" so the actual hello isn't enough?

[charlygal]

I wish my boss wouldn't talk to me.