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Old 03-03-2014, 04:18 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,894,125 times
Reputation: 3249

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As a woman in the USA I'm grateful to have limitless opportunities. Such opportunities for women and for everyone in general are unprecedented in all of history.

Women fought hard for equal rights, equal pay, equal treatment. I understand why after all through history women had been considered and treated second to men, existing for men's pleasure, raising children and doing domestic work. Throughout history as well there have been some restless, vocal women who insisted on breaking out of those predetermined roles, and insisting that all women should be set free to live their dreams.

Well I do appreciate the hard-earned freedoms women now enjoy.

May I say however that now we women seem to be paying more dearly for what we asked for. Not only are we free to work and live independently and make our own choices, etc...we are now EXPECTED to live independently, work hard in the rat race, hold our own and run with the big dogs. Those wouldn't be such bad things but what comes along with that is that men view women differently now too. Relationships function differently now. With everyone's focus shifted to working and advancement and personal gain just to survive, relationships have become a playground rather than anything serious or meaningful or stable & nourishing.

Life moves too quickly and people are distracted in so many different directions. Humanity is suffering.

And certainly this can't all be pinned on women's lib, but also on industrialization, capitalism, the information era.

Help! I am a slow-paced, sweet, fragile woman and I'm drowning in all this rush & noise & heartlessness.
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Old 03-03-2014, 04:33 PM
 
Location: USA
7,482 posts, read 6,203,991 times
Reputation: 12421
It's a bigger problem overall, and what you've pointed out is part of it. These days, we are all expected to be part of the "rat race," even if we have no interest in it. No longer is it good enough to get a good education, go to work, earn a decent living at a career, and go home for the day.

No...these days you have to be eager to put in tons of extra effort - for little to no pay, of course! - to make the company a bit more money. You have to be willing to stick knives in the backs of others to show "initiative" while still turning a blind eye to reality so you can be a "team player." You have to be willing to "go the extra mile" - and get nothing for it - and then put a smile on your face when you're kicked to the curb when the next layoff, downsizing, outsourcing wave sweeps through and renders all your effort worthless.

Top that off with high costs of living, lousy wages in what jobs do exist, and a culture that rewards bad behavior and sees people as disposable tools to be used up and discarded, and the end result is suffering, as you said. But most people won't notice or care until it hits them, sadly.
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Old 03-03-2014, 05:02 PM
 
403 posts, read 667,821 times
Reputation: 416
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
As a woman in the USA I'm grateful to have limitless opportunities. Such opportunities for women and for everyone in general are unprecedented in all of history.

Women fought hard for equal rights, equal pay, equal treatment. I understand why after all through history women had been considered and treated second to men, existing for men's pleasure, raising children and doing domestic work. Throughout history as well there have been some restless, vocal women who insisted on breaking out of those predetermined roles, and insisting that all women should be set free to live their dreams.

Well I do appreciate the hard-earned freedoms women now enjoy.

May I say however that now we women seem to be paying more dearly for what we asked for. Not only are we free to work and live independently and make our own choices, etc...we are now EXPECTED to live independently, work hard in the rat race, hold our own and run with the big dogs. Those wouldn't be such bad things but what comes along with that is that men view women differently now too. Relationships function differently now. With everyone's focus shifted to working and advancement and personal gain just to survive, relationships have become a playground rather than anything serious or meaningful or stable & nourishing.

Life moves too quickly and people are distracted in so many different directions. Humanity is suffering.

And certainly this can't all be pinned on women's lib, but also on industrialization, capitalism, the information era.

Help! I am a slow-paced, sweet, fragile woman and I'm drowning in all this rush & noise & heartlessness.
I currently live in your part of the country, so I understand why you feel the way you do. It's not that way everywhere in the US. I know I am over-simplifying a complex issue, but an easy reality is that you can move from the outside of the country to an area where the culture is different for women or you can move into an industry that is less competitive and dog eat dog. I don't know what you do for a living, but you live in one of the most transient areas of the country where it's very political and everything is competitive no matter what gender you are.
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Old 03-03-2014, 05:14 PM
 
694 posts, read 1,031,171 times
Reputation: 824
While in general, the society is a lot more fast-paced than 30-40 years ago, don't discard the industry and the location. For example, I am in the financial services industry in NYC and it is certainly a pressure cooker. While the company I work in is not explicitly hostile towards women, there is nothing to support us either-complete absence of work/life programs such as official flextime, back-up childcare, or any sort of work/life balance, mentoring or other programs devoted to the advancement of women, add to that the fact that the ratio of men to women is 3/1, and most of the women working here are young with no kids. I feel like an outlier every day since I am in a managerial position with 3 kids. Now, if I were in another industry somewhere in Midwest, I would most likely, be closer to the norm and have a wider support network.
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Old 03-03-2014, 05:28 PM
 
2,283 posts, read 3,324,601 times
Reputation: 3672
It really sounds like this would be better suited in a different forum.

When I hear "women are expected to be equal" and it pertains to work and employment - all I can think is YES, why wouldn't they be equal?
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Old 03-03-2014, 05:36 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,894,125 times
Reputation: 3249
Quote:
Originally Posted by RoadWarrior12 View Post
It really sounds like this would be better suited in a different forum.
Agreed. I am new here and searched really hard for the most suitable category, something like Gender Studies would be more suitable.
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Old 03-03-2014, 06:22 PM
 
973 posts, read 1,298,893 times
Reputation: 599
Quote:
Originally Posted by Rambler123 View Post
It's a bigger problem overall, and what you've pointed out is part of it. These days, we are all expected to be part of the "rat race," even if we have no interest in it. No longer is it good enough to get a good education, go to work, earn a decent living at a career, and go home for the day.

No...these days you have to be eager to put in tons of extra effort - for little to no pay, of course! - to make the company a bit more money. You have to be willing to stick knives in the backs of others to show "initiative" while still turning a blind eye to reality so you can be a "team player." You have to be willing to "go the extra mile" - and get nothing for it - and then put a smile on your face when you're kicked to the curb when the next layoff, downsizing, outsourcing wave sweeps through and renders all your effort worthless.

Top that off with high costs of living, lousy wages in what jobs do exist, and a culture that rewards bad behavior and sees people as disposable tools to be used up and discarded, and the end result is suffering, as you said. But most people won't notice or care until it hits them, sadly
.
It's almost impossible to be single now a days, because everyone thinks everyone lives in a two income home. You almost can't get by on one income anymore. It's not even about the extras. It's about being able to even afford a home on one income.
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Old 03-03-2014, 06:24 PM
 
Location: Raleigh NC
1,346 posts, read 2,807,348 times
Reputation: 2321
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
And certainly this can't all be pinned on women's lib.
Oh yes it can.
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Old 03-03-2014, 06:48 PM
 
Location: Northern Virginia
1,474 posts, read 1,894,125 times
Reputation: 3249
Quote:
Originally Posted by claud605 View Post
Oh yes it can.
Very well then...
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Old 03-03-2014, 07:14 PM
 
541 posts, read 761,022 times
Reputation: 737
Quote:
Originally Posted by Zelpha View Post
May I say however that now we women seem to be paying more dearly for what we asked for. Not only are we free to work and live independently and make our own choices, etc...we are now EXPECTED to live independently, work hard in the rat race, hold our own and run with the big dogs. Those wouldn't be such bad things but what comes along with that is that men view women differently now too. Relationships function differently now. With everyone's focus shifted to working and advancement and personal gain just to survive, relationships have become a playground rather than anything serious or meaningful or stable & nourishing.
I was thinking about this myself the other day. Glad you made a post about it. Women are expected to be "equal" when it comes to responsibilities regarding work, but we're still paid a lot less than a man. We're still expected to contribute our fair share to financing the household, but left responsible for cooking, cleaning and babies.

And I do think that relationships have become more partnership like in that one is judged on how much they can contribute, rather than the romance factor. It is exhausting when I think about it.
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