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Old 06-17-2015, 05:53 PM
 
14 posts, read 15,430 times
Reputation: 35

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Hi everyone. Im 23 years old, I graduated from college 1.5 years ago, and I currently have a great job in a big city where I live that, I would say, pays well for my age and this early on in my career (about $28/hour). I work in the healthcare field.

My commute to work is long and I battle traffic daily (about 1 hour there, 1 hour back), I work 40+ hour weeks and It is a stressful job. I love the people I work with and most days I really like my job (though it is very stressful in nature), but am having a hard time balancing my life with work.

I get weekends off, which is great. I have not moved out yet, I live with my mom in order to save up money (I do pay her rent so it helps her out as well), and my boyfriend of 4 years and I are planning on moving out next year. He just got a new job in his field so we will be saving up from here to move. On my days off I feel like I have no energy for some reason. My days off go so fast, Im usually drained/fatigued from my work week so I physically dont feel like socializing like I used to, and I have lost touch with my friends from school. I socialize a lot with my brothers and sisters/other family, and occasionally meet up with old friends from college (like once every two months if I am lucky).
my boyfriend and I see each other a lot, which is wonderful so that does take a lot of the lonely feelings away.

Also, a lot of friends on facebook are already getting married and already have at least one child, etc. Which is wonderful, but it gets me thinking that I am behind for my age. I feel ashamed quite frequently that I still rent with my mom. I enjoy it since we get a long great, but am looking forward to being more independent and feel like I should already be moved out.

I guess I am just all over the place with my thinking and my feelings, I feel I am in a rut. I like my job, I just feel drained all of the time and feel like I have no time to experience life, and I am young so I feel like I need to go out and experience life. A coworker made a comment to me that I need to get out and do more, she was surprised in conversation that I wasnt familiar with some places that she has visited/traveled. Mind you, she is in her 40's so she has had much more time to experience life than I have. I feel like I have become a homebody since I entered my profession.

Do you have any tips that have worked for you/someone else to balance work and life? Is it normal to feel this way? Thank you all so much for your time.
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Old 06-17-2015, 05:57 PM
 
Location: Brentwood, Tennessee
49,990 posts, read 49,580,791 times
Reputation: 98359
Quote:
Originally Posted by TFA324 View Post
Hi everyone. Im 23 years old, I graduated from college 1.5 years ago, and I currently have a great job in a big city where I live that pays well I would say for my age and this early on in my career (about $28/hour). I work in the healthcare field.

My commute to work is long and I battle traffic daily (about 1 hour there, 1 hour back), I work 40+ hour weeks and It is a stressful job. I love the people I work with and most days I really like my job (though it is very stressful in nature), but am having a hard time balancing my life with work.

I get weekends off, which is great. I have not moved out yet, I live with my mom in order to save up money (I do pay her rent so it helps her out as well), and my boyfriend of 4 years and I are planning on moving out next year. He just got a new job in his field so we will be saving up from here to move. On my days off I feel like I have no energy for some reason. My days off go so fast, Im usually drained/fatigued from my work week so I physically dont feel like socializing like I used to, and I have lost touch with my friends from school. I socialize a lot with my brothers and sisters/other family, and occasionally meet up with old friends from college (like once every two months if I am lucky).
my boyfriend and I see each other a lot, which is wonderful so that does take a lot of the lonely feelings away.

Also, a lot of friends on facebook are already getting married and already have at least one child, etc. Which is wonderful, but it gets me thinking that I am behind for my age. I feel ashamed quite frequently that I still rent with my mom. I enjoy it since we get a long great, but am looking forward to being more independent and feel like I should already be moved out.

I guess I am just all over the place with my thinking and my feelings, I feel I am in a rut. I like my job, I just feel drained all of the time and feel like I have no time to experience life, and I am young so I feel like I need to go out and experience life. A coworker made a comment to me that I need to get out and do more, she was surprised in conversation that I wasnt familiar with some places that she has visited/traveled. Mind you, she is in her 40's so she has had much more time to experience life than I have.

Do you have any tips that have worked for you/someone else to balance work and life? Is it normal to feel this way? Thank you all so much for your time.
I will share a quote that changed my outlook:

Comparison is the thief of joy.

STOP looking at what other people are doing. Your life is YOUR life. There are no "shoulds."

You do what you need to do. Yes, working M-F is a grind that wears on you, but your commute is not helping. The sooner you can change THAT, the better. It sucks the life right out of you.

There is no shame in living with your mom. It's not as is you have no other plans. So please just STOP the "shoulds" and "others are already doing this ..." and do what YOU think is best.
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:24 PM
 
20 posts, read 13,890 times
Reputation: 15
One of my favorite quotes that I often have to remind myself - "When you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you **** all over the present"

Basically just enjoy the moment that you're in NOW. Truly that is all we have in our lives right at this moment. Practice gratitude and enjoy all of the little things that you have now. Easier said than done sometimes I know.

Life isn't a race to get married, get a house, have kids, etc. My friends that are settled down and have kids, sometimes wish they could go back to being single for a while. The grass is always greener. Some days are going to be better than others. Overall life is what you make of it. I think you should be proud of the things you have accomplished at your young age thus far.
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:25 PM
 
2 posts, read 1,770 times
Reputation: 10
I have felt the same way, mainly due to issues with depression. There are chunks of my life I feel shouldn't "count" because I spent them in a depressive funk. You have nothing to worry about - you are still very young and what you're experiencing is normal.

I don't have much advice about your social life - I'm very introverted and have always been happier alone with a book. But maybe you can do something more constructive with your long, frustrating commute. Playing some audio books might help you - classic literature ones are usually inexpensive, or you could get a course on learning a new language. Maybe that will help you feel less like you're "wasting" that time.

And don't feel bad about living with your mom! You never know what life is going to hand you. I moved across the U.S. to be with my (now) husband and I don't get to see my mom much anymore - I'm glad for the extra time we had together when I still lived with her at your age.

Work will always be boring and stressful - that is why they have to pay you to show up! But it sounds like you're making good $ for someone right out of school, you should be thankful for that. I'm sure there are more than one of your college friends who are doing the commute and grind for much less, if that puts things in perspective.
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Old 06-17-2015, 06:26 PM
 
227 posts, read 171,374 times
Reputation: 507
The grass isn't always greener. I guarantee. I guarantee some of those people you think are better off, are looking at you and thinking you're leaving them behind. It doesn't feel like it, but you're very young. You have many, many years to explore and 'live life'. You're doing just fine.
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Old 06-17-2015, 07:24 PM
 
1,655 posts, read 2,259,167 times
Reputation: 1319
Quote:
Originally Posted by Norcal056 View Post
One of my favorite quotes that I often have to remind myself - "When you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you **** all over the present"
.

Wow I just want to say, that is an amazing quote. I will definitely keep that with me.
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Old 06-17-2015, 07:28 PM
 
2,008 posts, read 2,435,945 times
Reputation: 3112
23 is way too young to get married and have kids. I wouldn't be jealous of them
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Old 06-17-2015, 07:53 PM
 
1,252 posts, read 1,325,560 times
Reputation: 508
you work 40 hours/week and are having trouble balancing work/life?
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:09 PM
 
10,621 posts, read 19,021,522 times
Reputation: 20959
Having kids because your friends are having kids is nothing short of stoooopid with a capital "S."

How does a 23 year old renter without a spouse or children have problems with work/life balance? Maybe you should see a doctor and get a check up/blood work done to see if there is a reason you are always fatigued. My boss is in his sixties, his work and commute week is 55 to sixty hours, and he has time for a wife, kids, grand kids, church, a civic group and hobbies. I am at a complete loss.
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Old 06-17-2015, 09:46 PM
 
Location: here
24,844 posts, read 32,222,796 times
Reputation: 32527
You are bordering on too young to be married and have a kid, not too old. If you want to struggle with work life balance, have a kid and buy a house, then we'll talk.

Maybe you and your BF should spend the weekend in the city once in a while. Go out to dinner. Go to a show. Go to a bar. Spend the night in a hotel.

You could be depressed at this transitional time of life. You are an adult with a career, but you live at home with your parents.

Make sure to plan outings on the weekends. When I'm feeling lethargic or down, sitting around makes it worse. I second a visit to the doctor. There isn't any reason you should feel like this at your age and in your situation.
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