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Old 05-07-2016, 02:11 PM
 
341 posts, read 1,184,667 times
Reputation: 243

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I’ve been at my job for 3 months now and things are just now starting to feel more comfortable and I am not as stressed anymore. I learned a lot but I still have a lot to learn though. Anyway, everyone in the office has known eachother for at least 2 years…most about 5 years or so. They seem so comfortable talking to eachother about everything. I feel like my relationship with them is strictly professional and very acquaintance like. It wasn’t like this at my last job where I felt like we were friends.
I guess I’m okay with it as long as I’m not bullied like my very first job but it can get a bit lonely sometimes. I try to join in on conversation but it seems to revert back to the original group that has been there for years with the eye contact. I am naturally an introvert by the way so too much talking drains me anyways.


They talk for hours in the office with the boss too. Sometimes I’m thinking, “Don’t they have work to do?” because almost 2 hours will go by and they’re just talking about whatever. To be honest, some of it I can’t really relate to like pregnancies and children. I do better with 1 on 1 conversation though but when I start conversation with my boss sometimes it’s short or it can easily go an hour and I”m just thinking about the work I need to get done.


I often wonder if I’m sociable enough.
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Old 05-07-2016, 02:50 PM
 
27,100 posts, read 18,406,999 times
Reputation: 44016
A popular discussion topic here, divided between those who like to make friends on and off the job, and those who don't.

//www.city-data.com/forum/work-...coworkers.html

//www.city-data.com/forum/work-...coworkers.html

//www.city-data.com/forum/work-...onal-life.html

//www.city-data.com/forum/work-...lete-show.html
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Old 05-07-2016, 03:06 PM
 
Location: In a vehicle.
7,022 posts, read 5,225,042 times
Reputation: 12857
Well, have 4 co-workers who I don't deal with except superficially. "Hi & Goodbye" is about it.


I leave it at that as they are:

1. Female
2. Come from other countries
3. Sit and chat (At their positions)



The funny thing? One of the "Higher Ups" saw a list of people who will be asked to "Stay Home" (Work slow down) I am not on that list as I work and keep my mouth shut. Some of them are on the list....Hard way to learn, but hope they do.
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Old 05-07-2016, 03:25 PM
 
Location: SW Corner of CT
2,335 posts, read 2,426,340 times
Reputation: 3015
I'm friendly with most, put up with some, but never, never party, or break bread with them. I have been invited to parties and such, but respectfully decline.....work is work.
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Old 05-07-2016, 04:26 PM
 
7,279 posts, read 4,088,743 times
Reputation: 14804
I'm the only college educated employee (out of 40-50 people INCLUDING the bosses) where I work in a workplace full of lower skilled, immature, unprofessional co-workers (with the exception of maybe 1-2 employees) so not really.. I have nothing in common with any of them. As far as I pragmatics go I try to fit in but Im not really into going to shoot guns and killing poor defenseless animals riding around acting like I'm a teenager again.

Im from the north.. Not really into the whole southern redneck thing. I love the laid back atmosphere of the south and laid back lifestyle, and weather but I just can't really connect with the types of personalities of the south.

I talk to everyone and show respect but as far a hanging out outside of work and being "buddy buddy" , absolutely not

Last edited by DorianRo; 05-07-2016 at 04:35 PM..
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Old 05-07-2016, 05:41 PM
 
Location: San Francisco Bay Area
20,515 posts, read 20,654,205 times
Reputation: 20342
Always friendly, professional and cordial with all co-workers. Even those that may irritate me (which are few), I take the high road and stay professional. You never know, and the power of "nice" pays dividends down the road, sometimes indirectly.
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Old 05-07-2016, 05:55 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
32,199 posts, read 26,599,176 times
Reputation: 42250
I spend some time with some of my former coworkers on my personal time and we are Facebook friends, but I wouldn't consider it buddy buddy
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Old 05-08-2016, 09:55 AM
 
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, originally from SF Bay Area
39,586 posts, read 71,004,014 times
Reputation: 48096
I will do some small talk/chat about things like weather, food, or sports with my boss and my subordinates, but never see them outside of the office for social reasons, and I am not Facebook friends with any of them. I really don't think it appropriate for socializing with a superior or subordinate, and in my case, I have no real work peers, as I am the only one with my job title. At a recent business conference, I did spend time with meals and drinks with some others from work, but they were all in other departments and of course, people tend to stick mostly to others from their company at such events.
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Old 05-08-2016, 10:37 AM
 
Location: USA
6,231 posts, read 6,473,495 times
Reputation: 10763
No way, the co-workers are just too toxic. And I actually have stuff going on in the outside when I clock out for the day.
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Old 05-08-2016, 11:47 AM
 
341 posts, read 1,184,667 times
Reputation: 243
Quote:
Originally Posted by Suburban_Guy View Post


Thanks. I'm not necessarily asking if ts a good idea to be friends with coworker's but more so if I'm in a normal situation. I'm wondering if it takes more time to be more personal and feel like I'm in the circle... I talk but I don't sit and talk for hours like they do... And I wonder if I should force myself to join and fit in but it means work not getting done.
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