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I don't feel that way--ostracized. Most people I know would love to be me--would love to feel comfortable to travel alone, go where ever I want without waiting on someone else.
I so agree! I have no problem going to the beach, the movies or lunch by myself. I have no desire to make friends anymore. I'm not anti-social, I just don't feel the need to have people around me all the time; I'm happy being alone. I have family and a part time job so I'm not some sort of shut-in with a clowder of cats.
I feel a little sorry for people who can't stand being alone. My niece is like this - she has to have people around her all the time.
I so agree! I have no problem going to the beach, the movies or lunch by myself. I have no desire to make friends anymore. I'm not anti-social, I just don't feel the need to have people around me all the time; I'm happy being alone. I have family and a part time job so I'm not some sort of shut-in with a clowder of cats.
I feel a little sorry for people who can't stand being alone. My niece is like this - she has to have people around her all the time.
You're taking two extremes, i.e. liking having constant company and having no friends. Your own position is really somewhere in between since you do have family and a part-time job.
I have a family, i.e. a good marriage and two children away at college, and I work for myself. I don't need constant company. Nevertheless I sometimes pine for the days of having two or three friends that I see on a regular basis. I have some close long term friendships, one dating back to 1965 with Dave, one dating from fall 1972 with Jim #1, and one from summer 1973 with Doug. And a few shorter term friendships, with a Steve from falls 1987 and 1988 and Jim #2 from the summer of 1988. I see Dave a few times every summer when we play tennis. We speak by phone about once a month, but I can't say I see him regularly. With Jim #2 we often make plans and then have to reschedule, so we wind up seeing each other about once a year. Ditto Jim #1. Steve lives in North Carolina so we see each other very irregularly. We were at his son's Bar Mitzvah last fall.
Phone contact has its own perils. Jim #1 and I used to speak regularly and then, even though we still met for lunch he began hanging up on the phone calls. Thus I would definitely like more friends. So, I assume, would most who regularly post here.
It has to do with how we are wired. Read some of the books like "how to win friends and influence people" to realize that people skills are more important than any other skill. Plenty of people have people skills who don't necessarily like being around people all the time. It's a learned skill. Sometimes to get ahead you have to do things you don't like and learn new skills. Practice and repetition make perfect. Through personal development work I've come to see my personality as an impersonal aspect of my overall being (spiritual teachers say this stuff but to actually realize and feel it is another story) .. our habits and subconscious mind are like an untamed dog that needs taming, picking up bad habits from childhood... taming it takes time and discipline.
I will say that "bullbleeping" is still something I prefer not to do and I'm glad I work at a job where it's not necessary. Office gossip, men talking about who they want to nail and about licking tacos and all that day after freaking day... that stuff never gets old to these people who never shut up.. it's like they tell the same jokes over and over and talk just to fill empty space, and it's always raunchy sexual crap.. so boring. Anyways I'm starting to sound judgmental when I'm not, I very much have a live and let live mentality but that doesn't mean I'm going to hang around with all my co-workers outside of work either. To each their own
It has to do with how we are wired. Read some of the books like "how to win friends and influence people" to realize that people skills are more important than any other skill.
That book is very outdated and not realistic at all in many ways. I read it, but it is simply not realistic for most people. Personality cannot be forced. An introvert can't "switch" anymore than an extrovert can.
For example, most people I know over the age of 30 are no longer able to memorize the names of every single person they've ever met. Shaking someone's hand until it falls off, smiling like a Halloween pumpkin all the time...honestly, people who act this way are kind of creepy to me.
I currently have a job where I work from home, so I work alone. It's great. I don't have co-workers, so I don't have to worry about peoples lives being ruined because I forget to smile at them in the morning.
People are threatened by anyone that does not toe the line and behave like everyone else; if you are a loner there is no confirmation you are someone that can be trusted. Goes all the way back to primitive tribal instincts, it was a way of preserving the integrity and safety of the tribe.
"As the creeper that girdles the tree trunk; the law runneth forward and back
For the strength of the pack is the wolf, and the strength of the wolf is the pack"
I know in my case,it is not that I am pushing people away.
It is just that I find most people on my job seem to reject me,so I reject them.
I do find certain cultures are easier to deal with than others.
Asian Americans from India are some of the best people to work around as an introvert IMO.
They come to work,well,to work. That is it,and that is great for a person like me.
It does not matter that I am polite and have manners,some coworkers want to know YOUR personal business,to use as ammunition at a later date.
Nope,not this worker! I am not telling nobody where I live,my family,who I am dating,where i hang out,etc.
I am also not discussing politics or religion,esp since my religion makes me an outsider.
Manners are designed to make OTHER people feel comfortable. If a person has poor social skills, he or she will certainly make others uncomfortable. It's as simple as that. I know LOTS of introverts. I'm one of them. I have a pretty high tolerance for 'uncomfortable' because I know another person's behaviors are rarely about me. I try to be gracious when others come across as feeling awkward. And I have seen the benefits of repetitive practice in safe environments.
Introverts can and should learn socially acceptable behaviors. Extroverts should also...being the center of attention is not always socially acceptable. Some of us are just quieter when someone offends us...because we're introverted.
Introverts are seen as "thinkers." And most employers do not want thinkers. They want employees who will do what they are told. One place I worked called them "good little soldiers."
Any professional that coaches you on taking one of those personality tests for employment will tell you to answer the questions like you love to party, watch a lot of tv and hate quiet evenings reading. It shows you will go along to get along and you are more likely to get the job.
Introverts are seen as "thinkers." And most employers do not want thinkers. They want employees who will do what they are told. One place I worked called them "good little soldiers."
Silly and wrong, except for people at the very lowest entry level who, frankly, really don't know enough about the business to do anything other than what they're told.
Beyond that, employers certainly do want people who can think well enough to keep them out of trouble and maintain profits. That's why so many companies have "process improvement" incentives.
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Any professional that coaches you on taking one of those personality tests for employment will tell you to answer the questions like you love to party, watch a lot of tv and hate quiet evenings reading. It shows you will go along to get along and you are more likely to get the job.
Have you ever actually had to take such a test for employment? I never have. But as others have also testified, I've taken them at management seminars to determine how I may have to adapt my management style to the people I supervise.
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Through personal development work I've come to see my personality as an impersonal aspect of my overall being (spiritual teachers say this stuff but to actually realize and feel it is another story) .. our habits and subconscious mind are like an untamed dog that needs taming, picking up bad habits from childhood... taming it takes time and discipline. 
