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I feel like I lack confidence in many areas still, and that my team doesn't really fully trust me outside of putting together some reporting for them. For instance, they rarely consult me prior to client meetings, and I seldom get invited to go to those meetings. In the consulting world, that's a fairly big part of the role it seems.
Is it possible they simply don't know what to do with you? If they don't ask you to do all of the things you think you should be doing for them, maybe they don't know you can? Have they had someone in your role before? Because if not, it may be a matter of, they're used to doing everything and it doesn't occur to them that they can throw some of it at you.
I've had this happen to me many times in various support positions. "Gosh we haven't had an assistant in so long we're used to doing everything ourselves!" Once got into a new position, only to be told "well... we don't really need you..." I was thinking, "from what I've seen and been told about how things function here, yes you do... even if you don't realize it." (They shuttled me into another position where they needed someone, anyway.) Or, the other day my boss was like "hey, um, can you do this Thing... if you're not too busy... would that be all right?" I said, "Yes, it is literally my job to do that kind of thing for you."
Is it possible they simply don't know what to do with you? If they don't ask you to do all of the things you think you should be doing for them, maybe they don't know you can? Have they had someone in your role before? Because if not, it may be a matter of, they're used to doing everything and it doesn't occur to them that they can throw some of it at you.
I've had this happen to me many times in various support positions. "Gosh we haven't had an assistant in so long we're used to doing everything ourselves!" Once got into a new position, only to be told "well... we don't really need you..." I was thinking, "from what I've seen and been told about how things function here, yes you do... even if you don't realize it." (They shuttled me into another position where they needed someone, anyway.) Or, the other day my boss was like "hey, um, can you do this Thing... if you're not too busy... would that be all right?" I said, "Yes, it is literally my job to do that kind of thing for you."
This is a valid point. I'm the first analyst they've had on staff in this office. So maybe there is some truth in that.
That said, they are aware that a big part of how we consult with our client has to do with financials. They don't come to me for that, nor do they include me in meetings where it could be beneficial for me to learn. In fact, during our interview with the senior financial analyst candidate, they made a point that they needed someone who could help them understand the financials more so they can present to clients. So my initial thought to that was, "Well, then what am I here for?"
This is a valid point. I'm the first analyst they've had on staff in this office. So maybe there is some truth in that.
That said, they are aware that a big part of how we consult with our client has to do with financials. They don't come to me for that, nor do they include me in meetings where it could be beneficial for me to learn. In fact, during our interview with the senior financial analyst candidate, they made a point that they needed someone who could help them understand the financials more so they can present to clients. So my initial thought to that was, "Well, then what am I here for?"
You said earlier your boss praises you. Why not ask her to include you in these meetings? That you are willing to learn more and as you said where it would be beneficial.
You have similar issues as me. It's kind of ironic given your job as an analyst. You are good at analyzing. Therefore you think a lot. Thinking a lot leads to anxiety. You're catastrophizing.
But you could be right about needing to learn more. You wanted more training. Is there a way you can self teach. Is there a class you can take. You are smart. You can learn on your own I'm sure. Could you talk to your boss about ways you can learn on your own, like ask about classes or online resources you can study?
You were hired as a Staff Consultant"? Low man on the totem pole. They don't expect you to know anything aside from being a good employee--come to work every day, dress neatly, speak the language sort of thing.
You will learn. Couple of years in that role, then move up to Senior, then after 5-7 years, Manager.
Give it time. Pay attention to the real feedback, not the mental games you are playing with yourself. You will know if they are pushing you out, trust me.
Or better yet, OP, read post #4 in this thread. Most of all, don't let your imagination invent performance issues that aren't there. It's good to be self-aware. It's not good to be overly self-critical.
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