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No one's stress or depression is a free pass to curse at and insult coworkers.
He needs to be reported and have a sit down with HR.
I agree with blueherons.
I was in a situation like this in my mid-career years.
The bottom line is he needs to be reported to HR and let them handle it. As a friend, you can suggest to him he get help and/or tone it down, but when someone is being self destructive, do not be surprised if he tells you to f off and mind your own business no matter how long you have been friends. Let the professionals handle it.
HR is the last resort, beyond talking to this person themselves, then escalating to your manager. If management doesn't know that this person's behavior is affecting productivity, that's where you start.
Yes, he needs help, and more than you can give him. I can't believe he hasn't been fired yet, if he's leveling this sort of abuse at coworkers. (If he's doing that, I assume he's doing the same to friends and family.) He needs to see someone to learn how to manage his stress and anger.
Agreed.
In my seven years with my current employer, I have heard exactly one curse word, and it wasn't one of the seven banned words like the one the OP quotes. Professional workplaces do not tolerate people who curse. Visual or audible anger is also highly disapproved. These situations would cause first-occurrence terminations at every white-collar company where I have worked.
Forceful words may be used sparingly, but dispassionately. The emotion needs to be in the words, not in the face or tone.
My supervisor is now aware of this. Back when I complained he actually said that I’m not the first person to bring up this point and they have been informed of the issue before, but they tread a fine line because this coworker is also incredibly capable and it’s hard to find an equally skilled & dedicated employee for replacement.
My supervisor is now aware of this. Back when I complained he actually said that I’m not the first person to bring up this point and they have been informed of the issue before, but they tread a fine line because this coworker is also incredibly capable and it’s hard to find an equally skilled & dedicated employee for replacement.
so they are giving him a free pass to insult others? That doesn't sound right or fair.
He sounds like an ahole, why are you friends with such a person? No fun time with him here and there excuses that he goes off on people for several minutes. This guy is very unprofessional, rude, unfair, inappropriate and should be terminated. If they want to keep him they should give him an office for himself where he works on projects no one else is involved.
so they are giving him a free pass to insult others? That doesn't sound right or fair.
Yeah, that's weird. In a professional workplace, why are the only options to let him say whatever he wants or fire him? Most managers would give him a chance to shape up before taking disciplinary action.
so they are giving him a free pass to insult others? That doesn't sound right or fair.
He sounds like an ahole, why are you friends with such a person? No fun time with him here and there excuses that he goes off on people for several minutes. This guy is very unprofessional, rude, unfair, inappropriate and should be terminated. If they want to keep him they should give him an office for himself where he works on projects no one else is involved.
Great question. He was the person who helped me understand how to diagnose issues and go about fixing them as a new hire to the job 2 years ago, and taught me who was responsible for what in other teams so that I reach out to the right people when there is an issue I need help with. Those were key skills I learned. Without doubt, he did teach me very important things. We also had a common interest in top gear content and a general interest in cars, which led to us becoming friends.
However, it was a couple months until I found out about his questionable behavior, and I thought “oh, it’s just one bad day, I’ll let it slide”. A year went by and I saw the same thing happen, and that was around the time when I had to work with him, and regretted being his friend. This is also around the same time I complained, because it was a repeated pattern. It happened once again recently, a month back, and this time I distanced myself because I don’t want to hear the crap he has to say, it just wastes my time.
Technically I can no longer call him a full time friend until he changes this behavior . He is only friendly when I first joined, and on days when he does not have unexplained episodes.
Last edited by FrozenI69; 07-07-2020 at 02:56 PM..
As a person, he needs to be helped. It would be best for his manager to recommend seeing a Shrink.
This only gets worse. Imagine how everyone would feel if he committed suicide. Be his confidant.
take nothing personal as this is cut and dry so it;s not anyone's fault, nor his.
If he was on fire, someone would help without hesitation. Time to help the guy. Remember how he was, meds can often bring people right back yet with an appreciation unlike before.
Another chance is ask if he has any schizophrenic family members. Depending upon the relation, he could be at the beginning stages. Good luck, hope this thread is updated after a few months
Another chance is ask if he has any schizophrenic family members. Depending upon the relation, he could be at the beginning stages. Good luck, hope this thread is updated after a few months
There's no way I would ask a coworker such a personal health question unless the person was a very very close friend who confides in me. I'd leave that topic up to a professional. I would, however suggest that he should look into counseling for his own sake as well as everyone else's. I'd explain that the suggestion was out of concern for him and that I hate to see such a valuable colleague so miserable so often.
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. He is only friendly when I first joined, and on days when he does not have unexplained episodes.
