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4 years ago I wanted to work at company ABC pretty badly. It was a hot company 4 years ago. I interviewed with Bob and went through a rigorous interview process. In the end, he said they found another better/more qualified candidate. At the time, I was bummed, but no big deal.
1.5 years later (so 2.5 years ago) the same position headcount re-opened (assuming growth or backfill) and I msged him again basically saying hey it's 1.5 years later, things have changed, I'm still interested, can we restart conversations? I was ghosted. Was still a little bummed at the time, but no big deal.
Now, he is leaving company ABC (it's not hot anymore) and joining my company where he will be my new direct manager. I haven't spoken to him in 4 years, but it feels weird and awkward that my new direct manager will be someone that rejected me twice.
Last edited by unknown00; 11-12-2020 at 09:24 AM..
Location: East of Seattle since 1992, 615' Elevation, Zone 8b - originally from SF Bay Area
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Yes, that would definitely be weird and awkward, if he remembers you at all. No use worrying about it until there is acknowledgement from him, and don't bring it up yourself!
As a hiring manager, I have probably interviewed 400 people for the 11 positions I have filled in the last 10 years. Of those people that I rejected, I can remember only one from 2010, notable because his resume looked so good but his interview was so bad.
Back in 1998, I interviewed at a company and was rejected by a manager there. I felt bad, but moved on. In 2015, I was at another company and a new manager was brought in, it was the same manager that rejected me back in 1998!
Initially, I didn’t know how our relationship would go. On his first day, we met and he did remember me, but stated that he was happy I was now on his team. We had a good working relationship at that company. Sometimes, you just never know and I always feel that “time erases all wounds.”
Yes, that would definitely be weird and awkward, if he remembers you at all. No use worrying about it until there is acknowledgement from him, and don't bring it up yourself!
As a hiring manager, I have probably interviewed 400 people for the 11 positions I have filled in the last 10 years. Of those people that I rejected, I can remember only one from 2010, notable because his resume looked so good but his interview was so bad.
We have to agree to disagree. I am a hiring manager myself, and while I don't remember the hundreds and hundreds of resumes through my desk in past many years, I remember every single individual that made it past first rounds of screening
4 years ago I wanted to work at company ABC pretty badly. It was a hot company 4 years ago. I interviewed with Bob and went through a rigorous interview process. In the end, he said they found another better/more qualified candidate. At the time, I was bummed, but no big deal.
1.5 years later (so 2.5 years ago) the same position headcount re-opened (assuming growth or backfill) and I msged him again basically saying hey it's 1.5 years later, things have changed, I'm still interested, can we restart conversations? I was ghosted. Was still a little bummed at the time, but no big deal.
Now, he is leaving company ABC (it's not hot anymore) and joining my company where he will be my new direct manager. I haven't spoken to him in 4 years, but it feels weird and awkward that my new direct manager will be someone that rejected me twice.
There's mot much you can do about it but do a good job and accept him as your new manager.
This is a good example of why one should not burn bridges. After being ghosted and thus rejected twice, some might have been tempted to send an email telling him off.
...This is a good example of why one should not burn bridges....
Yup - exactly this.
Now, towards the end of my career, I'm still astounded at how many names from the past keep showing up in my daily work.
Sometimes these folks have moved on several times (like I have) to different organizations, but we're all in the same basic industry, so more or less run in the same circles.
Granted, there are several thousand folks in these circles, but as you move up the foodchain, the number of senior folks necessarily grows smaller, and they tend to be senior due to their longtime experience. So - we keep stumbling across each other, even when moving on to new roles or organizations.
Thankfully, I have a pretty stellar reputation amongst my peers, so this (being familiar with folks across many organizations) has helped me out many times over several decades. I imagine if I had burnt a bridge or two in the past, it very much would have made my professional career difficult at times.
There's mot much you can do about it but do a good job and accept him as your new manager.
This is a good example of why one should not burn bridges. After being ghosted and thus rejected twice, some might have been tempted to send an email telling him off.
^ This.
The fact you feel awkward isn't his doing. He may/may not remember you - but that doesn't matter. He's your manager now.
Also - those past decisions were likely not personal. He picked the best-qualified person. That doesn't mean you weren't qualified or he thought negatively of you. He opted to go with someone else...that's all.
Don't forget, a lot of water has flowed under the bridge in those 4 years. Hopefully the employee you've become since then is more experienced and skilled than the one he interviewed before. I'd let it rest.
Yes, that would definitely be weird and awkward, if he remembers you at all. No use worrying about it until there is acknowledgement from him, and don't bring it up yourself!
As a hiring manager, I have probably interviewed 400 people for the 11 positions I have filled in the last 10 years. Of those people that I rejected, I can remember only one from 2010, notable because his resume looked so good but his interview was so bad.
You interview 40 people for every 1 that you hire? That's obnoxious. What a waste of time money and resources.
The fact you feel awkward isn't his doing. He may/may not remember you - but that doesn't matter. He's your manager now.
Also - those past decisions were likely not personal. He picked the best-qualified person. That doesn't mean you weren't qualified or he thought negatively of you. He opted to go with someone else...that's all.
Exactly this.
And OP, don’t pretend that you’ve never met. When introduced, say “We met some time back when I interviewed at ABC. Nice to see you again.” and then move on to a different topic.
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