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My income will increase $27,000 total (gross) over the lifetime of the contract. About $4.30 an hour.
The move itself will cost $11,000, higher than initially projected, and that eats at my gain.
My wife will be setting her career back years by moving. Her starting pay is likely to be $4 to $8 less than what she makes here, where's she's been in the same job for 11 years. We knew she was probably looking at some kind of loss, but additional research reveals it's going to be much bigger than first expected.
If I was getting into a bigger pay raise than I am, things would be different. But with they way are, we will be lucky to break even over the next 3 years and quite likely are looking at a slight combined income loss.
The other job is a much better situation for me, but she's so much better off here, that it offsets the gains I make.
If my salary was going up like $45,000 to $50,000 total (or more) over the next three years, we would come out ahead. I'm going up, but not up enough for the financials to come out in our favor.
Getting out of the nights and weekends and getting to spend more time with my spouse would more than make up for all that with me. Especially if you're talking about having kids down the road. Being able to be at home with the kids weeknights and all weekends is priceless. Otherwise, there's a good chance you and your spouse will just be two ships passing in the night.
Getting out of the nights and weekends and getting to spend more time with my spouse would more than make up for all that with me. Especially if you're talking about having kids down the road. Being able to be at home with the kids weeknights and all weekends is priceless. Otherwise, there's a good chance you and your spouse will just be two ships passing in the night.
The other thing along those lines is that I can't go church with my spouse on Sunday's unless I take a vacation day, because I work weekend days. A few months ago, I tried asking my current employer if they would let me come in later and work a few hours later to accommodate church on Sunday mornings but was rejected because I'm literally the only person in the entire building during that time period. I sit in an empty building for half my shifts on weekends until a couple other people get in.
The other thing along those lines is that I can't go church with my spouse on Sunday's unless I take a vacation day, because I work weekend days. A few months ago, I tried asking my current employer if they would let me come in later and work a few hours later to accommodate church on Sunday mornings but was rejected because I'm literally the only person in the entire building during that time period. I sit in an empty building for half my shifts on weekends until a couple other people get in.
Early on, to save on daycare costs, my wife and I set it up where we were each working 3-4 12-14 hour days. Her workdays would be my days with the kids, and my workdays vice-versa. We rarely saw each other. There was almost no time where it was the entire family hanging out. It seriously almost led to divorce. And, frankly, at that point, we essentially were. Made some changes so I could be home every night. Took a pay cut to do so. Don't regret it one bit.
Give me a break. Corporations can and will let you go at any time for ANY reason so you can't have it both ways. You are hired "at will" which means there is no contract at all. The piece of paper you're signing is nothing more than a legal escape for them to be able to can you at any time for any reason, it's not an employment contract that guarantees you'll come work for them.
Do what's best for you and your family. If you made a bad decision, there is no reason you can't change that. It's your life and we all have made choices that we later regretted. Don't get stuck in a job or an area that makes you or your spouse unhappy.
Even if you are working a contract, for a year's term or whatever, there's no guarantee that you will last for that given period of time. People are oftentimes let go, even with a "contract," for no meaningful reason at all.
Even if you are working a contract, for a year's term or whatever, there's no guarantee that you will last for that given period of time. People are oftentimes let go, even with a "contract," for no meaningful reason at all.
Yes, agreed. Which further substantiates doing what is best for you, not worrying about hurt feelings or "ethics" as someone put it. I wonder if "ethics" come into place when they offshore 1,000 jobs to India or sell off the company to line the pockets of the shareholders?
My wife no longer wants to make this move, either. She was initially on board with it, "excited" about it even, but now says she really doesn't want to go. She realizes the numbers on the move don't add up and her career prospects in the new city are worse than first thought. I also think she was finally honest with herself about the idea of moving from her support system, especially for no gain elsewhere. Her heart is here unless something amazing opens elsewhere for us, and this isn't that.
We were married for 6 days when we made the decision to take the job to go. At that point in our marriage, we weren't ready to make that kind of decision, and doing so on a Honeymoon was ripe for making a bad one (which we did).
We overcalculated what the move was going to do for us financially (turns out, nothing) and underestimated the costs of long-distance moving.
There's been some other complications that have eroded any interest in the move, like needing 13 nights in a hotel as soon we move because our apartment was unexpectedly pushed back. That's going to run $1500-$2000. And after an exhaustive search, the best apartment available in our timeframe/budget is still inferior to the one we have in our current city. We're losing a lot of storage space in the new apartment, but can't afford a storage shed for the extra stuff. Our stuff fits fine here.
After I talked to a few people who know me better than I know myself, I now realize the job I'm better suited for is the one I'm leaving, not the one I'm going to. I'm far more likely to be happier (and successful) in an individual contributor role than I am managing and leading a group of people.
My other job has been accepted, our current apartment has been re-rented, our departures have been announced at our current jobs, and a lease was signed in the new city. But neither of us want to be there anymore.
We agreed that we also erred on even entertaining a move at this point, and that we should be enjoying a new marriage without all these concerns.
Metty, since it looks like you will not be moving to take that job in Kansas City, you got to promise us in 3 months or 6 months or 12 months from now you don't start a new thread talking about how you were wrong in staying in Des Monies and not moving for that other job, deal!
Metty, since it looks like you will not be moving to take that job in Kansas City, you got to promise us in 3 months or 6 months or 12 months from now you don't start a new thread talking about how you were wrong in staying in Des Monies and not moving for that other job, deal!
As much as we don't want to go, we don't see a way out at this late juncture.
As much as we don't want to go, we don't see a way out at this late juncture.
Well if you are going, quit complaining. Make the best of it, pray she gets a better job than she expects. Find a church that has services Saturday or Sunday evening when you can go together. Find a cheaper way to move, check U-Haul or Penske, lots of us have done it ourselves.
You miscalculated and now you are stuck. I’d not move.
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