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I have a co-worker who I absolutely don't get along with. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't work in such close quarters. Sometimes there are three of us, a lot of times it's just 2. It just depends on the day.
What are some ways you have dealt with passive aggressive and otherwise annoying co-workers?
I used to really enjoy coming to work and now I dread it just because I have to deal with her. She isn't well liked by anyone. I have to work with her for 8 hours one day out the week and I hate every minute of it.
Don't you work at a library, Purple? Your co-worker needs to chill out! She should go to work at a high stress job and take her 'nonsense' somewhere else.
The trouble with passive/aggressive people is that they are mentally unstable. She may be bi-polar. Obviously she has issues. Do you have a supervisor you can talk to about this? Or the director?
Sometimes working with only a few people is bad, because you can't avoid them.
Is there any possibility of transfering to another department?
Unless there is some way to let her boss know, hopefully without her finding out it was you (almost impossible in a small group), you are probably stuck with her and should make the best of it.
The best thing to do? Something I learned in leadership training. Make it a point to be overly cheerful every morning, and also to say hi every morning to her. Not only will it cheer YOU up, it will show you don't care about her attitude. Who knows, maybe it will turn her around? This one place I worked had one too many employees that sound just like this person you work with. One of my buddies used to make it a point to say hi to them every morning. It was funny watching their expressions.
Make sure you don't show that her attitude/personality affects you in any way. Don't change your tone, or make any indication you know she is mad/upset/sulking etc.
Kind like dealing with a 5 y/o who is throwing a tantrum or sitting their sulking
Passive agressive are the worst kind! I have a passive-aggressive boss and I'm always trying to second guess whether his actions are intentional (trying to get a reaction) or genuine. It can drive a person mad.
Whenever I have a coworker or boss that drives me crazy, I stop and think about the best way to deal with this particular individual. In a job where I had 30 production operators working for me, I had a HR manager that was driving me completely bonkers (kind of a passive agressive sort of thing). I thought about it and decided the best approach for her was to kill her with kindness. It worked. She tried several times to get under my skin and I would just smile and be as nice as pie. I hate to admit that I actually enjoyed watching her get frustrated because she couldn't get to me.
Try to find a way to deal with this individual that keeps you sane. I like to think of it this way - by letting them get to me, they are in control. If I choose a behavior that lets me be in control, I can handle the situation much easier.
Sike makes a great point. Do not let her misery affect your behavior and make you miserable. My mom worked with someone similar to your co-worker for years (she was my mom's supervisor). One day Chatty Cathy was happy, the next day she was nasty and backbiting. It made my mother's very hard job worse.
Some miserable people LOVE knowing they are dragging others down. Fight the urge to let her see what she is doing to you.
I have a co-worker who I absolutely don't get along with. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't work in such close quarters. Sometimes there are three of us, a lot of times it's just 2. It just depends on the day.
What are some ways you have dealt with passive aggressive and otherwise annoying co-workers?
I used to really enjoy coming to work and now I dread it just because I have to deal with her. She isn't well liked by anyone. I have to work with her for 8 hours one day out the week and I hate every minute of it.
An employee like that is a problem to production even more so than a person who does not do anything. Just keep doing your job to the best of your ability and hopefully management will do the right thing and get rid of that troublemaker.
It is funny that one person said you work in a library. Do all nuts go to libraries to work. I spent a couple of years working around a click who caused trouble on a daily basis. I spent more time doing CYA than I did doing the job. We finally got a boss who was brave enough to get rid of them. We went through several directors before that happened. After they were gone the trouble stopped.
I am retired now. One of them came back and guess what. I hear they are having trouble again. I know who the problem is, but I don't understand their being hired back again. So glad I am retired and don't have to deal with such dishonest people again.
I had know people who did not like each other and would display that in the break room but these people involved the public in their antics too. I had never seen anything like it before. The public does not need to have to be short changed so these people can have their fun. About the only way to deal with a person like this is to get rid of them. Problem is that since they are dishonest, others sometimes go before they do. Just watch out for yourself.
Like moonlady says, there is an underlying reason to the behavior. It may not be the best response to that reason, but nonetheless, passive-aggressors behave that way as a response to something.
Maybe she feels threatened by you. Maybe she feels insecure. Maybe she feels the workload isn't shared fairly. It could be many things. Figure out what her reason is.
It isn't your responsibility to make her feel secure, of course. But it is the fastest way to truly resolving the problem.
I have a co-worker who I absolutely don't get along with. It wouldn't be so bad if we didn't work in such close quarters. Sometimes there are three of us, a lot of times it's just 2. It just depends on the day.
What are some ways you have dealt with passive aggressive and otherwise annoying co-workers?
I used to really enjoy coming to work and now I dread it just because I have to deal with her. She isn't well liked by anyone. I have to work with her for 8 hours one day out the week and I hate every minute of it.
Look at it as a challenge. I had a person who hated me within a week of when I started my current job. It took a year, but I finally won her over. It is always good to have friends.
I would just be overly nice to her, no matter what. Bring in doughnuts in the morning for no reason, volunteer to do some of her work that you know she hates, etc. People have a really hard time acting like a**holes towards people who are nice to the point they can never be rattled.
A rule to live by (at work or at home): Never criticize, condemn or complain. If you need to vent, do it on CD , doing any of those three things in person is never a step in the right direction.
Is this the lady who naps with the teddy bears in the closet?
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, doing any of those three things in person is never a step in the right direction.
