Work place gossipers..How do you deal with them. (degree, jobs, business)

[Weekend Traveler]

Originally Posted by annerk

Don't give them any reason to gossip. Keep your personal life to yourself. Ignore them otherwise, and don't engage them.

Unless the rumours are something that could affect your advancement ability in the company, just ignore them. If they could affect your advancement, seek out HR's help.

I did not give the gossipers any information on my personal life and I was aloof and quiet around my coworkers unless I was talking about work issues. Though they gossiped about me like crazy so they could destroy my reputation so my initiatives would fail. They used gossip as a power play and basically destroyed my reputation and stature within the company by spreading all this gossip about me.

My mistake was ignoring the gossip and not building friendships with people at work who would defend me. Because I was so aloof to everyone and talked only shop with my coworkers, no one defended me or did they tell me until it was to late that a whispering campaign had basically destroyed my reputation.

I learned a hard lesson, and learned I could not ignore the gossip being spread about me.

[annerk]

Sounds like someone else on these boards with a real complex where they follow him around and snoop on him outside of work. Where there is smoke there is fire, I'm just sayin.

[sinsativ]

Originally Posted by annerk

Sounds like someone else on these boards with a real complex where they follow him around and snoop on him outside of work. Where there is smoke there is fire, I'm just sayin.

Are you referring to Paranoid People?? I saw one on here the other day, I did.

I'm not paranoid, ---****Yes you are***---- no I'm not, there's no one watching me ---**** Are you sure ***--- Quit that! **--- I'm gonna tell **-- Aww, Who ya gonna Tell Well, just you don't never mind, you leave me alone, there's nobody watching me! ***Really???
Mommmy!!!!!!!!!!!

[DianeOnTheGo]

I know exactly how you feel. Some people just like to cause trouble and see the pain on someone's face. There are people that like to take the attention off themselves and point fingers on someone else who hasn't done or said a thing. Especially if you're quiet or would never do the things they accuse you of. It just makes them feel better about themselves because they have something to hide and they are really miserable inside. They like to feel powerful and in control. And sometimes people just like to be nasty, sorry to say. I agree with Tet Tea, "What goes around comes around."

I have had that happen to me at work also. One day I was getting along with everyone fine and someone lied and gossiped about me because she was jealous that I got along with everyone ( I think that is why, I'm not sure). I don't know what the lie was about, but to this day some people won't talk to me and I have no idea why. I just know I never spoke a bad word about anyone or done anything to cause it. I went over and over in my head what the cause was, I even asked them and they never answered me. So I came to the conclusion they were not my friends anyway. It hurt bad but from then on I always put up a shield not fulling trusting anybody until they proved my wrong.

My advice would be to try to ignore them if you can. After awhile they will probably pick on someone else. And If you can not let it bother you and not take your troubles home with you to save your sanity. Or let it roll off like water does a duck. Or if it bothers you alot, I would try to find different work if you can in this weak economy. I myself found a different job that didn't have all the gossip. I have tried sticking up for myself which made them gossip more and just keeping quiet but neither worked it just got worse.

Hope I helped some. Good Luck!

[debbiest50]

Unfortuately "gossip" happens no matter where you work.I just started a job a couple weeks ago and I know everytime I walk out of the room people are making remarks about me.
But like the above poster said life is too short.Try not to let it get to you.Though I know it's easier said than done.
You'll run into this in every job.You just have to get through the rough spots until they get to know you a little better.
So just let em talk away...it'll die out after awhile.

[GypsySoul22]

I think when you first start a job you need to be friendly but give out very little personal info. Every organization has the frustrated gossipers who have nothing else to do but cause misery to others.

Focus on your work but be pleasant. Discuss generalities. We all know about people who reveal too much.

Also, do not repeat gossip but listen to it. Sometimes there are kernels of truth.

I've had managers who liked backbiting and gossip amongst their staff. Keeps them angry at each other and they won't realize the job sucks or the pay is bad or the manager is just a screw up.

[Bob's Burgers]

Why does a job become an employee's life?
Work=cannot choose who I work with; paid to work not gossip
Family and friends= my choice.

Choose wisely

[had it with coworker]

i work with a woman who won't shut up, period. she subjects me and another coworker with her endless stories about her kids, grandkids, etc. she is also a big gossip. if she knows that she can create drama she will. i tolerated her when i first started because she is friends with the main supervisor, who works in another town. when i try to tell her i have work to do she says she's busy, too. i don't see how she gets her work done as she always talking when others are trying to work. she's very disruptive and destructive. i have been in trouble with the boss because i don't want to listen to this woman's tirelee tirades. the boss says she's just lonely and needs someone to talk to. what about a therapist? any suggestions? she's affecting my job.

[A_Gazela]

Originally Posted by had it with coworker

i work with a woman who won't shut up, period. she subjects me and another coworker with her endless stories about her kids, grandkids, etc. she is also a big gossip. if she knows that she can create drama she will. i tolerated her when i first started because she is friends with the main supervisor, who works in another town. when i try to tell her i have work to do she says she's busy, too. i don't see how she gets her work done as she always talking when others are trying to work. she's very disruptive and destructive. i have been in trouble with the boss because i don't want to listen to this woman's tirelee tirades. the boss says she's just lonely and needs someone to talk to. what about a therapist? any suggestions? she's affecting my job.

I feel bad for you because I had a similar situation this summer; and I must add that supervisors don't do much good in helping these situations. They don't have to be around the mindless blather all day so they feel sorry for the chatter-box.

This summer I was briefly a sounding-board for a woman like this who talked about her personal life constantly and would not stop--it did not matter to her with whom she was sharing her life's drama. She didn't even know me, so it was even more foolish on her part--how did she know who I was or whom I knew? She thought I cared about her "trashy" babysitter or how her three babys' fathers didn't treat her right...I have a quiet and nearly drama-free life so I had nothing to say to her except "uh-uh, uh-uh..." She later attached herself to her "new best friend" who just used her for her car. Maybe I should feel sorry for this woman, but I don't at all.

I read this post today because I have problems with people gossiping about me at work, like most people do. I've been good and trying to ignore it and not say a word because I know the stuff they're saying about me is just trivial. During the summer it was worse but it's still happening by the "usuals." It's only gotten better since then because some of the gossipers were fired or quit (attendance issues). I'm trying to keep my mouth shut and hope the other airheads will disappear, but I doubt it will happen soon. I won't go into detail because you all probably can imagine how it is.

My biggest concern is how can I just avoid these "women" completely? "Waiting it out" can't work for all of them--or can it? If I tell my supervisor that I don't want them to work with me or in my work area (which is entirely possible), will it backfire on me and I'll be labeled as a "whiner" or "uncooperative?" May I add that the older coworkers who have been around for a while are respectful and nice to me and I have no problems with them; they know I do my work so that's why they respect me. I try to remember that when the rotten ones start running their mouths.

[maria_eire]

i´m actually sick to bits of gossipers. I´ve got one at work and he´s really unbearable at times, I pretend to listen to him, but as soon as he walks out, I forget what he said, he´s just a liar. He´s spreading rumours around all the time_ about who will get the sack or things like that_ (that actually never happen! and it´s a hindrance to have to deal with him in the office, I suppose it´s a challange for me, the fact of not getting involved with him at all. He´s always forecasting a black future for every single thing and he´s pestering me with his false rumours. At this stage, I cannot take any more of his annoying attitude and I just ignore him, but it looks as if he hates my attitude and he´s taking revenge by doing and saying things that_directly or indirectly_might put me in a bad position, like undermining my efforts or like reducing my job to sthg worthless. I cannot take any more of these, but at the same time, I don´t really know what to do.I am sure somebody else went thru a similar position...I am all ears...please! Thanks in advance.