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I have been interested in how relationships, sexuality and gender roles very between modern cultures but I have had trouble finding any relevant information. How is sex/relationships viewed in countries that you have lived in, visited or know a lot about?
I have only ever lived in the USA if I had to characterize sex and sexuality here I would say the following
Most Americans still want to be married and expect to be only married once even though divorce and remarriage is very common.
Very few Americans think infidelity is “OK” but many of them do it. If I had to guess I would say 1 out of 5 cheat on their spouse at some point
Sex before marriage is expected. Being a virgin is often seen as something to be ashamed of. I would say most Americans loose their virginity between the ages of 16 and 20.
Most Americans view sexuality as only gay or straight. Gay-men and Lesbians are usually looked down upon. But a lot of Americans see women experimenting with bisexuality as “desirable”. Men that experiment are labeled as homosexual and it appears to be uncommon.
American men are afraid of being labeled as gay and avoid things that make them appear to look gay. One thing is having close male friends (But I have noticed that this is changing very fast).
A sexual relationship with an adult and someone below the age of 18 is illegal and considered morally wrong. But adult women that have sex with teenage boys are not as viewed as harshly as men that have sex with teenage girls (Desperate Housewives).
Some things that I have heard about other cultures but I’m not sure how accurate are:
A married man having a mistress is nothing to be ashamed of in France.
My best friend who has been deployed to Afghanistan several times said that a lot of the Afghan men have sex with women just to have babies but have sex with each other for fun.
Polygamy and Child brides are common in many Middle Eastern Countries.
A very high percentage of married men in the UK visit prostitutes.
I'm sure some do but "a very high percentage" wouldn't be an accurate assumption.
One thing I am certain of - many countries around the world don't make as big a fuzz about their politicians' sex lives as much as Americans do! Seriously why the fuzz? As long as they do their job and don't use public coffers to support their lovers, then its nothing I call serious!
...Gay folks are not looked down on nearly as much by the general public as they were 20 or even 10 years ago; support for gay marriage is at about the 50-50 point and most under 40 or 30 would not have problems with a gay co-worker or friend. However, even with the tolerance, males are still worried of looking gay.
Heh heh...I think the ultimate acid test on this, would be same one that used to be applied to tolerance of black people.
<gasp> "Would you want your son/daughter to marry one?!"
Location: where you sip the tea of the breasts of the spinsters of Utica
8,297 posts, read 14,157,672 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mrconfusion87
One thing I am certain of - many countries around the world don't make as big a fuzz about their politicians' sex lives as much as Americans do! Seriously why the fuzz? As long as they do their job and don't use public coffers to support their lovers, then its nothing I call serious!
Because so many Americans are poorly educated and bored with their easy lives, and so they find sex in celebrities and politicians to be more interesting than whether humans are permanently damaging the world's ecological systems, or whether the economy is about to crash entirely, or which countries are at war, or whether there are massive famines going on, or what to do about the epidemic of homeless people.
I would say that in the french culture cheating is not ok but of course many women/men do it but men are the ones who cheat the most
We marry and have children late compare to usa. I think the average age for a french woman to have her first kid is around 30 years old. During my trips in usa i've seen many young girls with kids and they were only teenagers. We prefer to build our life and career first.
Men are not afraid to wear pink or tight shirts/pants, for us it's totally normal and they don't look "gay".
The cougar thingy isn't really popular here
People have sex before mariage, very few people wait to get married unless they're very religious and it's not really common here. We don't go to church and we're not involved in the church activities (i'm speaking for big cities, it may be different in small towns but i don't think so)
Location: The western periphery of Terra Australis
24,544 posts, read 56,029,399 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by OZpharmer
I do know for sure the bolded/underlined part isn't the case in asian cultures such as South Korea, China/Hong Kong, Singapore, and Malaysia.
I also lived in Australia for over 5 yrs. Their society also seemed to be less fussed about losing virginity, probably due to having a lot of immigrants from overseas (mainly from Asia, India, Middle East, etc.). It's becoming even more multicultural as the massive influx of immigrants continues.
Does anyone agree with this regarding Australia?
Canada is prob somewhat similar to Australia. Both are immigrant-friendly nations.
Edit: For guys, having close male friends is thought to almost essential in South Korea.
I haven't lived in America, but if people find out I'm a virgin at 25 they are certainly surprised. It's not the norm except for religious people. Maybe there isn't quite as much peer pressure as the US, but maybe there is, I can't say. I do recall a select group of people making fun of certain people they suspected of being virgins in later high school and university, but most people are pretty understanding of people who take that decision. Alot of people are not as accepting or react with pity to virgins.
The OP's point about Afghanistani men having sex with each other sounds interesting, especially in such a seemingly strict Muslim nation. Are most men like that, or only a group? It sounds a bit like the ancient Greek attitude, where married men often had male lovers. I think many of these men may have refrained from having regular sex with women because there was no contraception in those days. Even if they were not gay, they may have used each other as a 'release.'
I think having sex with prostitutes isn't that big a deal in Australia compared to the US, since sex laws are more liberal in general. I know many men of all ages who have visited a prostitute and no one thinks much of it.
In most other regards we're similar to the US. There is still a reticence towards homosexuals. The 'girl girl' fetish might not be as pronounced but due to American influence is catching on. In some ways Australia is still a bit chauvinistic, but overall it's similar to the US I think.
I think the situation in Asian countries is complex. Japan seems interesting. I hear it's common for adults to remain virgins well into their 20s or even 30s...can anyone verify this? In Singapore and Malaysia, the Asian nations I'm most familiar with, I think the majority certainly do have sex before marriage, since alot of them aren't really religious. Yet Singapore is sort of old-fashioned in other ways: homosexual acts between men is illegal, oral sex is illegal (wonder where that leaves lesbians?).
Muslim nations would obviously have stricter laws, but I'm sure alot of what goes on in the West goes on there in secret. African nations also can be pretty harsh on sexuality. In places like Uganda or Nigeria gay people are sometimes hunted by vigilante groups and assaulted/killed. Public stoning for adultery is still the norm in much of Africa and the Middle East.
I have been interested in how relationships, sexuality and gender roles very between modern cultures but I have had trouble finding any relevant information. How is sex/relationships viewed in countries that you have lived in, visited or know a lot about?
I have only ever lived in the USA if I had to characterize sex and sexuality here I would say the following
Most Americans still want to be married and expect to be only married once even though divorce and remarriage is very common.
Very few Americans think infidelity is “OK” but many of them do it. If I had to guess I would say 1 out of 5 cheat on their spouse at some point
Sex before marriage is expected. Being a virgin is often seen as something to be ashamed of. I would say most Americans loose their virginity between the ages of 16 and 20.
Most Americans view sexuality as only gay or straight. Gay-men and Lesbians are usually looked down upon. But a lot of Americans see women experimenting with bisexuality as “desirable”. Men that experiment are labeled as homosexual and it appears to be uncommon.
American men are afraid of being labeled as gay and avoid things that make them appear to look gay. One thing is having close male friends (But I have noticed that this is changing very fast).
A sexual relationship with an adult and someone below the age of 18 is illegal and considered morally wrong. But adult women that have sex with teenage boys are not as viewed as harshly as men that have sex with teenage girls (Desperate Housewives).
Some things that I have heard about other cultures but I’m not sure how accurate are:
A married man having a mistress is nothing to be ashamed of in France.
My best friend who has been deployed to Afghanistan several times said that a lot of the Afghan men have sex with women just to have babies but have sex with each other for fun.
Polygamy and Child brides are common in many Middle Eastern Countries.
A very high percentage of married men in the UK visit prostitutes.
I live in the province of Quebec, Canada. As is often the case, Quebec is a bit off-centre when compared to the rest of North America in this respect.
Here are my observations on the various aspects addressed.
Love and marriage: Cohabitation and common law couples are far more common in Quebec. In fact, they have essentially become *a* norm if not *the* norm. The % of kids born out of wedlock is pushing 70% in Quebec, whereas it is only around 30% in the rest of Canada and is likely well below 50% in the U.S. as well. People who are common law are considered interchangeable with married couples, and I must confess we have friends who have been together for ages and have kids and I don't even know if they are married or not. People who are common law use the French words for wife or husband all the time for their spouses, and married people also routinely use the Quebec French slang for boyfriend and girlfriend for husbands and wives.
Marriage is still common though and divorce rates in Quebec are high just like everywhere else in the western world. Baby boomers in particular had super high divorce rates in Quebec, which may have turned a lot of their kids and grandkids off marriage.
In this respect, Quebec for some reason is quite similar to many Scandinavian countries.
Homosexuality: Is well on the way to becoming a non-issue, although some homophobia still exists. Being mistaken for a gay person is not a concern for straight men, and they will dress the way they want (Quebec men are often mocked by English Canadians and American for wearing borderline feminine stuff) no matter what. Two straight men can also dance together in a bar in Quebec without any concern - it's actually a good way to pick up girls.
Support for gay marriage is high (probably close to 70%) and having an openly gay teacher is not an issue in schools.
Religion and sex: Quebec was a very Catholic society until the 1960s. Today it is more culturally and historically Catholic. The church stays away from abortion, contraception, homosexuality, pre-marital sex like the plague in Quebec, despite official church teachings on these matters.
Teens: Average age for the ''first time'' is apparently 15, which is about 1.5 years younger than the Canadian average. The higher the family income though, the higher the ''first time'' age. Though still a definite minority, some parents actually put their girls on the pill at age 14-15. Also, it is not unheard of (though nowhere near a majority) for parents to allow their teen's boyfriend or girlfriend to sleep over in their child's bedroom.
Secondary (high) school in Quebec starts around age 12, or grade 7 for the rest of the continent. It runs until around 16, after which kids go to junior colleges around the ages of 16-17-18. CEGEP (junior college) is also the age when they start going out to nightclubs, brasseries and bars (even though the legal drinking age is officially 18), and this is when things tend to happen, if they haven't already...
Media: nudity and non-explicit depictions of sex are common on over the air networks in prime time. More daring stuff you may also see, and for example a national over the air network in Quebec would show something like Eyes Wide Shut uncensored in prime time without any hesitation. Some over the air channels also air soft core porn late at night.
Non-sexual nudity on over the air TV can be seen at all times of the day.
For example, a news item on mammographies or breast feeding will show bare breasts. A news item on a contemporary dance show with full frontal nudity will show male and female frontal nudity. I happened to be channel surfing on the weekend and saw a Quebec TV show similar to A Baby Story, and the show was the same as the U.S. version except that they showed *everything* during the childbirth, including close-ups.
There can even be some nudity on Saturday and Sunday morning's kids' cartoons, with stuff like Kirikou where women walk around topless and little boys run around naked with their little penises visible.
Finally, little girls 9 and 10 get vaccinated for the human papilloma virus and unlike some other places there is zero controversy about this inciting them to have sex at a young age or it being an ''assumption'' that they will have sex at a young age.
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