People from other countries & their kids.... (appointed, house)
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Why does it seem that other cultures instill such a deep respect in their kids & it is not even questioned by the kids? For example, I know families from Lithuania, Poland, Germany, Korea, Puerto Rico, etc. All of those kids, from the time they are very young, to the teen years, and on are extremely respectful of their parents. It always amazes me, being American, because the American families I know do not get that. Many of the American parents I know are at odds with their kids -the kids want to be equals in the household & disregard the parents, treating them like garbage. Has anyone else noticed this?
Firstly, Americans are far more diverse than any of those countries you mentioned. There are different trends within each racial and ethnic and geographic group in America towards child-bearing.
Secondly, I would never say that universially Puerto Ricans treat their parents with respect. I know and grew up with countless Puerto Ricans that were brats to their parents. lol!.
Thirdly, guessing by the Germans I know and have met throughout my life, I doubt they should be on that list either. Hehe.
That said though, there is a huge sense of individualism that gets instilled within most American children starting from a young age. We tend to be very ambitious, and we aren't going to comprimise that for our parents. Never the less, nearly all of us are very well disciplined in our youth. If I ever so much as back talked my mother, I could expect no less than a smack across the face for doing so. Love her to death though! ^_^
For instance, my mother was disappointed (mad, I shoud say) in me a few years back for not doing as well in college as she wanted. I told her that because she is not paying for my school, she should mind her own business. I was working and going to school with a pace and ethic that was comfortable to me.
I haven't spoke to my father in over four years now. I am gay, and he doesn't like it. I don't give a rats ass what he thinks. Rather than just put up with his condescending words, I cut him out of my life. It doesn't disrupt my sleep one bit.
Americans believe in taking control of our own lives. Not letting our parents control it for us. I actually pity other youth throughout the world, that they let mom and dad control every aspect of their lives. What does it even mean to them to live?
You speak of Americans and our defiance towards our parents as being a bad thing, but it isn't other countries in the world that other people flocking to be a part of. Also, defiance is a bad word for me to use, because what we really expect out of our parents is actually just mutual respect. Our individualism is something to be admired. If others are holding you back, there is no way to prosper.
I agree with InsaneTraveler on this one, for the most part, Americans are treated as adults by their parents and are on a much different level with our parents. I for one, would never get along on those countries like India where the parents control the lives of their kids and every aspect of their lives. As InsaneTraveler said, just because a kid doesn't agree with their parents, does not make it defiance..
I haven't spoke to my father in over four years now. I am gay, and he doesn't like it. I don't give a rats ass what he thinks. Rather than just put up with his condescending words, I cut him out of my life. It doesn't disrupt my sleep one bit.
Maybe your ignoring him disrupts his sleep though.
Why does it seem that other cultures instill such a deep respect in their kids & it is not even questioned by the kids? ....
Respect requires accepting the idea of hierarchy among other things, whether it be in the family or other social groups or in more remote aspects of society. I don't think the economy that developed after WW II could have been achieved without the jettisoning of respect as it was understood in the Forties, for example.
The present-day U.S. economy is in the main driven by consumerism, and consumerism thrives where people are highly detached, self-oriented and competitive. None of these qualities are fostered by the traditional ideas of respect that were prevalent at the midpoint of the 20th century.
The anomic individualism and consumerism, which are hallmarks of America II as it emerged in the 1980s, simply cannot accomodate respect as a meaningful component of our present social life and culture...which may well explain why "respect" is commonly used only in reference to abstractions and symbols, i.e. God, the American flag, etc.
Otherwise respect is archaic, and for good reason.
Respect would be an anarchic force in contemporary life going entirely counter to that personal complex of self-engrossment/"ambition"/aggression/acquisitiveness which drives consumerism and keeps the economy afloat.
Individuals trained in respect would be bad for business.
The present-day U.S. economy is in the main driven by consumerism, and consumerism thrives where people are highly detached, self-oriented and competitive. None of these qualities are fostered by the traditional ideas of respect that were prevalent at the midpoint of the 20th century.
If this is true, then how do you explain modern Japan?
If this is true, then how do you explain modern Japan?
Modern day Japan has dropped all of its traditions and has become completely westernized.. is your post a joke? The Japanese work their lives away even more than Americans do. If you want to go with countries that still hold on to tradition, we can go with the middle eastern countries and India, all of which are a hell on earth. I guess you could use Dubai as an example, but they also dropped everything to do with their islam control.
The child protection laws and the media-driven fear-mongering have turned American children into prisoners under house arrest. No wonder they have no respect for the figures they believe responsible for that.
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Originally Posted by believe007
Why does it seem that other cultures instill such a deep respect in their kids & it is not even questioned by the kids? You say *instill*. What do you exactly mean by *instill* ??
Stomp that principle into their heads, or show them respect as an example ?
I am from the South East Asia area where I *grew up*.
So I do have some of the principles taught in that culture. I lost both of my parents at a fairly young age, so I treated the parents of my wife as my *other parents*. My wife never told me to do different, I assume she liked how I treated her parents. Our kids *saw* what we did all thru their formative years, so even tho they are born and raised in the USA, they do *respect* us, the same as we respected our parents.
For example, I know families from Lithuania, Poland, Germany, Korea, Puerto Rico, etc. All of those kids, from the time they are very young, to the teen years, and on are extremely respectful of their parents. It always amazes me, being American, because the American families I know do not get that. Many of the American parents I know are at odds with their kids -the kids want to be equals in the household & disregard the parents, treating them like garbage. Has anyone else noticed this? Yes, we have noticed that, and even our children have commented on that phenomenon ... and I am NOT going as far as you say *treating them like garbage* ...
<<<equals in the household>>> --- We do treat our kids as equals in our household, but in the end, *we* as parents have *the last word* ... When we have to make an important decision in our household, we get all the kids together, and discuss what *needs* to be done.
Even today, while they are ALL out of the house, we still do that, and the kids always ask for our opinion in some of the important decisions they have to make.
Sorry to make the following statement, but I assume, kids do what they saw their parents do ????
We do have grandchildren now, and because of the way our children have treated us always, our grandchildren always use the word *please* with every sentence that includes a question, and always say *thank you* when they get stuff from anybody.
I do not claim to have a perfect family, and it *was* a difficult road, looking back today.
We play this *game*.
We say *Guess what ?*
The child says *What ?*.
We say *I love you*.
How can you treat others like garbage if you say the above often ???
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