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Old 07-24-2012, 02:41 PM
 
7,507 posts, read 4,398,602 times
Reputation: 3925

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Quote:
Originally Posted by dunno what to put here View Post
Striking a child doesn't earn you their respect, it just inflicts fear. Do you really want your child to fear you? That's a horrible thing. I was struck as a child once, and it certainly didn't stop me from misbehaving again, and I certainly didn't respect the adult who did it. If anything, I felt very angry and upset, and resented that person for a while. One thing that did work was threatening to take away something that I enjoyed! In fact, at one point, my mother put all my toys in a bag and threatened to put them in the bin. Now, that was effective.

Countries like Sweden and Norway have totally banned corporal punishment in schools and at home, and they appear to be well-run societies with well-behaved children. This talk of a 'nanny state' is silly. Watch Jo Frost on TV and you will see how to discipline a child without hurting it. Parents who resort to slapping are bad parents who have no clue what they are doing and probably need help. Any parents on here who spank their children, sorry if I've offended you, but it's just my opinion.
It's fine to run your own home the way you want but to push this law on everyone saying we should ban corporal punishment would cause some kind of riot. Btw, my parents are not bad parents. My mom is a super woman (taking care of 2 household) and doing her own things at the same time.
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Old 07-24-2012, 02:57 PM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,440,798 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by AsianRice View Post
It's fine to run your own home the way you want but to push this law on everyone saying we should ban corporal punishment would cause some kind of riot. Btw, my parents are not bad parents. My mom is a super woman (taking care of 2 household) and doing her own things at the same time.
And yet, just like the anti-abortionists, the anti-spankers cannot find peace until they make sure they control everyone else's choices, even though those choices really DO NOT affect theirs, neither directly nor indirectly. They feel the need to know that EVERYONE's children will NOT be spanked, the same way anti-abortionists feel the need to know that EVERYONE'S fetuses WILL be born. Not just theirs.

And if only such righteous intentions were a result of empathy and a sense of wanting the best for your fellow humans (in this case, fetuses and the spanked children). All they want is a legitimation of their own life views and choices. Oh well; maybe even THIS is normal with humans.

I think deep down we all crave to get everyone else on board with us. Just thinking.
Always fun to try to understand deep, underlying human motives.
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Old 07-24-2012, 04:29 PM
 
Location: Strathclyde & Málaga
2,975 posts, read 8,115,860 times
Reputation: 1867
It´s just one big nanny state now.
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Old 07-24-2012, 04:45 PM
 
26,786 posts, read 22,545,020 times
Reputation: 10038
Quote:
Originally Posted by BigSwede View Post
So you just hit your child when it doesn't do as you say?
Lol of course not, because as a parent you'd better be ready that your child will be pushing its own way, following its own desires, and sometimes downright testing your limits.
So it's rather normal to expect that your child will not comply on many occasions, because candies taste better than vegetables and playing with other kids is much more pleasant than doing home work. So with younger children, particularly when they are still operating in a two-button mode as "I wonna" and "I don't wonna" spanking comes pretty handy, when all the usual "bargaining" doesn't work, and you need to bring a point across that further misbehavior will not be tolerated. You need to set the limits when reasoning doesn't work and some kids require it more than other, if not to say that some are so shy for the most part, that raising your voice is good enough, and some are more robust and daring. However the more your child grows and progresses, the more the reasoning is involved, with all the usual given choices and consequences, so at this point in time hitting your child in order to achieve the desired result might already bring the totally opposite effect. So if you are talking about involved parents who know their children and make their decisions according to their best judgement it's one thing, but if you are talking about parents who are tired of their own life, being constantly angry and irritated and thus robbing it off on their children, then spanking ( and hitting) becomes a totally different issue. That has got little to do with disciplining a child, really.

Last edited by erasure; 07-24-2012 at 04:56 PM..
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:01 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,694 posts, read 87,101,195 times
Reputation: 131673
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotslass View Post
I believe there are degrees of force to use when a child misbehaves. As a child I received the odd slap on the bum but it never did me any harm. I did behave and respect my parents because I knew the consequences if I did not behave. It was a deterrent. However what that woman did is totally unacceptable. Causing embarrassment for the child and mother.

The UK has turned into a nanny state, one reason why I left.

Though now this ridiculous law has been passed, kids have more confidence to be off the rails - real discipline is out the window, same goes for in schools.

Totally unacceptable, I don't put anything past the UK government now.
^^^^^ I agree with it 100%
there is a light smack or two on the butt, when EVERYTHING ELSE failed ( and most kids usually comply with it ) and there is a "cold heart" beating with all the preparation (pants down, bring belt, lie down etc.). Most people against discipline seem NOT TO SEE THE DIFFERENCE.

I got my share at home and in the school ( yep, got smacked with the ruler or pointing stick ). Additional to staying after class, standing in the corner during the class, special homework assignments etc.
At home I got a various array of discipline: from soft talk and explanation, to no allowances, no TV or pleasure time, grounded for days, weeks or longer, strong supervision, AND occasional spanking, yes!
Loving parents tried everything with a big dose of patience, but no one is a saint.
I don't feel "psychologically damaged", or otherwise traumatic abused. In fact, I smile when I think about how my parent loved me, protected me and gave me an education and good home.

Now look at some kids today. Spoiled brats, demanding, talking back, some verbally AND physically abusive to their parents, do not accept any authority, do what they want, and when parents try to discipline them, they call Child Protection Service!
If parents can't raise their kids ( don't know how/dont have time or patience/ don't have morals/are lost or helpless), school can't help them - then what? Who supposed to do that job? Street and peers?

Last edited by elnina; 07-24-2012 at 05:32 PM..
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:12 PM
 
14,247 posts, read 17,921,045 times
Reputation: 13807
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
When the parent decided the child deserves the spanking, they don't need defense. They need to listen and comply. I know it's hard for some to accept that children NEED TO obey parents, but reality sticks.
How does the child 'listen' when you are busy hitting him/her?
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:14 PM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,440,798 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by erasure View Post
Lol of course not, because as a parent you'd better be ready that your child will be pushing its own way, following its own desires, and sometimes downright testing your limits.
So it's rather normal to expect that your child will not comply on many occasions, because candies taste better than vegetables and playing with other kids is much more pleasant than doing home work. So with younger children, particularly when they are still operating in a two-button mode as "I wonna" and "I don't wonna" spanking comes pretty handy, when all the usual "bargaining" doesn't work, and you need to bring a point across that further misbehavior will not be tolerated. You need to set the limits when reasoning doesn't work and some kids require it more than other, if not to say that some are so shy for the most part, that raising your voice is good enough, and some are more robust and daring. However the more your child grows and progresses, the more the reasoning is involved, with all the usual given choices and consequences, so at this point in time hitting your child in order to achieve the desired result might already bring the totally opposite effect. So if you are talking about involved parents who know their children and make their decisions according to their best judgement it's one thing, but if you are talking about parents who are tired of their own life, being constantly angry and irritated and thus robbing it off on their children, then spanking ( and hitting) becomes a totally different issue. That has got little to do with disciplining a child, really.

Big rep.
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:15 PM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,440,798 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaggy001 View Post
How does the child 'listen' when you are busy hitting him/her?
Oh, please. You either pretend you don't get it or you actually pretend you don't get it.
Using irrational come-back lines doesn't help your cause.
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:15 PM
 
Location: Tricity, PL
61,694 posts, read 87,101,195 times
Reputation: 131673
Quote:
Originally Posted by dunno what to put here View Post
Striking a child doesn't earn you their respect, it just inflicts fear. Do you really want your child to fear you?.
To a degree - yes! Kids need to fear discipline. They need to have an idea that bad behavior will be punished, and they need to fear that punishment. Otherwise there will be NOTHING that would stop them from acting like little evils. Kids that don't fear punishment end often in jail or end having a sad, lonely, disappointing life.
It's the same as with adults. Most adults fear punishment. They do not want to lose their job, or spouse, or go to jail. That fear prevents most from doing wrong.
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Old 07-24-2012, 05:25 PM
 
14,247 posts, read 17,921,045 times
Reputation: 13807
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Oh, please. You either pretend you don't get it or you actually pretend you don't get it.
Using irrational come-back lines doesn't help your cause.
Nope, I just totally and fundamentally disagree with you and the others who advocate hitting kids. Your excuses and rationalization are, in my view, just a way of explaining away your poor parenting skills or your own frustrations which you choose to take out on your kids. Alternatively, you may just be blindly copying the upbringing you experienced fro your own parents.

I have no expectation that you will agree with me. But, by the same token, nothing you can say will persuade me that your rationalization with regard to hitting is anything more than that.
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