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Old 07-23-2012, 06:54 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
18,528 posts, read 18,752,718 times
Reputation: 28768

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now that its a law in the UK not to hit a child.. I remember seeng a woman in a shopping mall, before this law, hitting her young child over the back of the legs with such force the child fell.. I wanted to do something but knew she in the foul temper that she was in that she would tell me where to go and it might make it even worse for the child...would you have said something to this woman.
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Old 07-23-2012, 07:04 AM
 
Location: Strathclyde & Málaga
2,975 posts, read 8,116,304 times
Reputation: 1867
I believe there are degrees of force to use when a child misbehaves. As a child I received the odd slap on the bum but it never did me any harm. I did behave and respect my parents because I knew the consequences if I did not behave. It was a deterrent. However what that woman did is totally unacceptable. Causing embarrassment for the child and mother.

The UK has turned into a nanny state, one reason why I left.

Though now this ridiculous law has been passed, kids have more confidence to be off the rails - real discipline is out the window, same goes for in schools.

Totally unacceptable, I don't put anything past the UK government now.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:04 AM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,442,467 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotslass View Post
I believe there are degrees of force to use when a child misbehaves. As a child I received the odd slap on the bum but it never did me any harm. I did behave and respect my parents because I knew the consequences if I did not behave. It was a deterrent. However what that woman did is totally unacceptable. Causing embarrassment for the child and mother.

The UK has turned into a nanny state, one reason why I left.

Though now this ridiculous law has been passed, kids have more confidence to be off the rails - real discipline is out the window, same goes for in schools.

Totally unacceptable, I don't put anything past the UK government now.
There are major anti-spanking zealots in the US too, who count the seconds until such a law would be passed in their own country; when it comes to this particular issue, I say thank goodness for the right-wingers as well as for those with a few grams of common sense left - and who oppose such a law.

Otherwise, I can hardly stomach most of the gibberish the contemporary American right-wing produces...but at least they have the spanking position right.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:48 AM
 
14,247 posts, read 17,922,570 times
Reputation: 13807
Having been a parent (mine are 31 and 25) one of the things I have realized is that hitting a child is not a more effective means of discipline than a raised voice or other sanctions. Usually, it is a thoughtless and instant reaction and is often borne out of frustration on the part of the adult. It is also an indication of the inadequacies of the adult as a parent.

Now, with our grandson, we find that consistency of approach, setting expectations (e.g. we always eat at table and not in front of the TV) and never making promises that we will not keep removes much of the need for discipline. When he does test the limits - and all kids do - then either a raised voice or sending him to his room is more than enough.
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Old 07-23-2012, 08:51 AM
 
14,247 posts, read 17,922,570 times
Reputation: 13807
Quote:
Originally Posted by Scotslass View Post
I believe there are degrees of force to use when a child misbehaves. As a child I received the odd slap on the bum but it never did me any harm. I did behave and respect my parents because I knew the consequences if I did not behave. It was a deterrent. However what that woman did is totally unacceptable. Causing embarrassment for the child and mother.

The UK has turned into a nanny state, one reason why I left.

Though now this ridiculous law has been passed, kids have more confidence to be off the rails - real discipline is out the window, same goes for in schools.

Totally unacceptable, I don't put anything past the UK government now.
We used to get 'real discipline' at school. Our teachers used the belt regularly (Lochgelly tawse). In fact, it only stopped when we were old enough and big enough to threaten the teacher with physical retribution ..... which we did.

Not really discipline is it ... just a question of who can exert the most force at a given time.
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Old 07-23-2012, 09:45 AM
 
Location: Strathclyde & Málaga
2,975 posts, read 8,116,304 times
Reputation: 1867
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaggy001 View Post
We used to get 'real discipline' at school. Our teachers used the belt regularly (Lochgelly tawse). In fact, it only stopped when we were old enough and big enough to threaten the teacher with physical retribution ..... which we did.

Not really discipline is it ... just a question of who can exert the most force at a given time.
Like I said there are degrees of force to use. My parents very rarely had to smack me, it was a last resort. I always knew never to cross that line. Nowadays its a free for all.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:46 AM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,442,467 times
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Originally Posted by Jaggy001 View Post
... - then either a raised voice or sending him to his room is more than enough.
You forgot to clearly specify "this is enough for mine".
You should count yourself lucky for having a child who complies with just a bit of a raised voice and a confinement to his room. Kindly refrain from judging those who had much less luck with the gene lottery. Even better, do not contribute to the passing of laws who would pretty much make such parents' lives completely miserable.

Be pleased that you do not need to spank yours and move on.
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Old 07-23-2012, 10:48 AM
 
4,040 posts, read 7,442,467 times
Reputation: 3899
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jaggy001 View Post
We used to get 'real discipline' at school. Our teachers used the belt regularly (Lochgelly tawse). In fact, it only stopped when we were old enough and big enough to threaten the teacher with physical retribution ..... which we did.

Not really discipline is it ... just a question of who can exert the most force at a given time.
Remember the belt was accompanied by a sense of shaming.Belt without shaming doesn't do much.
And parents alone cannot create a feeling of shame in the child.
If the community is not on board, it is useless. Shaming is a communal business.
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Old 07-23-2012, 12:27 PM
 
14,247 posts, read 17,922,570 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
Remember the belt was accompanied by a sense of shaming.Belt without shaming doesn't do much.
And parents alone cannot create a feeling of shame in the child.
If the community is not on board, it is useless. Shaming is a communal business.
There was no shaming involved. Getting the belt was a right of passage. But there were points to be scored if you stood up to it and returned to your seat with a smirk. It was an all boys school in Glasgow; 1000 of us. Being tough counted (Scotslass will understand the cultural aspect of it).
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Old 07-23-2012, 12:29 PM
 
14,247 posts, read 17,922,570 times
Reputation: 13807
Quote:
Originally Posted by syracusa View Post
You forgot to clearly specify "this is enough for mine".
You should count yourself lucky for having a child who complies with just a bit of a raised voice and a confinement to his room. Kindly refrain from judging those who had much less luck with the gene lottery. Even better, do not contribute to the passing of laws who would pretty much make such parents' lives completely miserable.

Be pleased that you do not need to spank yours and move on.
I disagree with you. Parents make their own lives miserable because so many are wholly unsuited to the task.
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