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Ashleigh stared at the computer screen, fiddling absently with her septum ring.
Rose Deluca, 88, of Wood Glen died Thursday. She is survived by three daughters...
Click. Ashleigh inserted the missing apostrophe into "daughter's". She read the rest of the paragraph listing the nursing home in which the decedent expired without seeing her family--or any real medical attention--ever again. She reviewed the now-standard remark that no memorial services had been scheduled and checked the link for the in-lieu-of-flowers charity desired. Ashleigh closed the file and clicked on the next email.
"Jacob R. Weinberg, 74..."
Oh, the despair of being a Millennial with a journalism degree, editing obituaries for a fading Jersey newspaper. On the other hand, most of her classmates complained endlessly about not being able to access the state's antiquated unemployment insurance portal after losing their non-essential food service and stripper jobs. At least she still received paychecks.
Ashleigh scrolled through the funeral home emails. Ninety-four. She put her fingers to the keyboard and smiled. If this kept up, she'd soon be making overtime.
Ashleigh stared at the computer screen, fiddling absently with her septum ring.
Rose Deluca, 88, of Wood Glen died Thursday. She is survived by three daughters...
Click. Ashleigh inserted the missing apostrophe into "daughter's". She read the rest of the paragraph listing the nursing home in which the decedent expired without seeing her family--or any real medical attention--ever again. She reviewed the now-standard remark that no memorial services had been scheduled and checked the link for the in-lieu-of-flowers charity desired. Ashleigh closed the file and clicked on the next email.
"Jacob R. Weinberg, 74..."
Oh, the despair of being a Millennial with a journalism degree, editing obituaries for a fading Jersey newspaper. On the other hand, most of her classmates complained endlessly about not being able to access the state's antiquated unemployment insurance portal after losing their non-essential food service and stripper jobs. At least she still received paychecks.
Ashleigh scrolled through the funeral home emails. Ninety-four. She put her fingers to the keyboard and smiled. If this kept up, she'd soon be making overtime.
His eyes shifted from side to side. It was almost as if he could actually see the foul stench that enveloped him, that surrounded him on all sides. But it wasn't the smell that he was looking out for. No, it was something far worse -- the risk of being seen, there in this horrible place. For as Wei Wong slinked his way through the fetid back alleys of Wuhan's filthy, disgusting, rundown warehouse district, he knew that he would be utterly ruined if anyone ever discovered his secret shame: he liked to eat bats.
The dolphins returned to the rivers, only to discover that the bats who had invented covid-19 were hard at work on a new dolphin disease- dophid-19-- in their bat cave. Time was of the essence, as dolphins had to act fast while the bats slept and destroy the bats’ secret lab. Swimming upstream, under the cover of daylight, the dolphins approached the bat cave.
Omg, I just want to thank you all for giving me real laughs, belly laughs. I totally needed it, like all of us do. Really, really funny stuff.
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Yes, thank you.
