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Old 08-03-2009, 09:00 PM
 
1 posts, read 1,840 times
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Big bruha in our household over this sentence - Ms knowitall says wack the commas. I say leave them.

Their excitement was infectious; their enthusiasm, boundless; and their resilence, inspiring.

So, should I leave the red commas? Your input is REALLY appreciated!
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Old 08-03-2009, 09:04 PM
 
Location: in here, out there
3,061 posts, read 6,047,134 times
Reputation: 5109
You can leave the commas or substitute them with 'was'. Removing the commas is total fail.
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Old 08-03-2009, 09:42 PM
 
1,491 posts, read 4,798,452 times
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Leave out the commas.

You also need to correct the spelling.
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Old 08-03-2009, 11:00 PM
 
Location: I'm around here someplace :)
3,633 posts, read 4,680,699 times
Reputation: 3980
Quote:
Originally Posted by lousywriter View Post
Big bruha in our household over this sentence - Ms knowitall says wack the commas. I say leave them.

Their excitement was infectious; their enthusiasm, boundless; and their resilence, inspiring.

So, should I leave the red commas? Your input is REALLY appreciated!
leave them in
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Old 08-03-2009, 11:53 PM
 
Location: Happy wherever I am - Florida now
3,360 posts, read 11,284,144 times
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"Their excitement was infectious, their enthusiasm boundless, and their resilence inspiring."

This is the way I would do it. It's too choppy otherwise. I only use a semicolon when changing ideas not in seperating them.
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Old 08-04-2009, 12:59 AM
 
Location: Coachella Valley, California
15,582 posts, read 37,776,225 times
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I agree with Sgoldie - but resilence is spelled "resilience".
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Old 08-04-2009, 05:06 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn
40,051 posts, read 31,601,937 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Twinkle Toes View Post
I agree with Sgoldie - but resilence is spelled "resilience".
Seconded! The sentence as written by Sgoldie (with Twinkle Toes' spelling correction) is the right one.

There is, you know, a tendency to, how shall I say, overuse, if not actually misuse, the comma.
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Old 08-04-2009, 07:15 PM
 
Location: Massachusetts
4,033 posts, read 9,114,180 times
Reputation: 4954
Quote:
Originally Posted by lousywriter View Post
Big bruha in our household over this sentence - Ms knowitall says wack the commas. I say leave them.

Their excitement was infectious; their enthusiasm, boundless; and their resilence, inspiring.

So, should I leave the red commas? Your input is REALLY appreciated!
I would actually do:

"Their excitement was infectious; their enthusiasm, boundless; their resilience--inspiring."

You can take out the commas but it will mean something different (i.e. you will not be placing emphasis on the words after the commas.) At the end of the day, it depends on what you are trying to say/communicate. In fact, it is inadequate to edit this sentence out of context. Moreover, it depends on whom you are writing for and your audience.
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Old 08-04-2009, 08:29 PM
 
3,757 posts, read 7,842,230 times
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S goldie's way or out.
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Old 08-04-2009, 11:16 PM
 
Location: Not where you ever lived
11,544 posts, read 27,228,327 times
Reputation: 6320
I think it is unbalanced because the tense changed.

Their excitement was infectious; their enthusiasm was boundless; and their resilience was inspiring.

I would write it a little differently. Their boundless energy was exciting, enthusiastic and inspiring.
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