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I hope I do not offend the people of this forum with this post, but I need some sense knocked into me, I guess.
My DH accepted a job in Wyoming and we are moving to either Lander or Riverton. We recently spent 2.5 weeks staying at the Holiday Inn Express in Riverton--in fact, this is my first day home from our trip. I boarded the plane IN TEARS--not tears of joy, but tears as, "I do not like this place."
We currently live in Minneapolis. I have lived in Minneapolis my entire life. I LOVE IT HERE. I am a city girl through and through. My taste of "country life" involved going to my cabin in rural northern MN my entire childhood and teen years. I liked the cabin well enough, but always couldn't wait to get back to the city, because I felt isolated and cut off from society, even for just a weekend. Needless to say, I do not like small towns.
The first few days were fine, but after that, I was already feeling depressed, cut off and isolated. The elevation gets to me--I lost my appetite, experienced headaches and my skin looks and feels terrible.
I don't like the lack of services, shopping options and entertainment. I am currently unemployed due to a layoff and I do not see where I could get a job that's not flipping burgers or working retail. I have an MBA in finance and formerly worked at a large corporate headquarters.
I'm sorry to say this, but Riverton and Lander are not for me and I am depressed as ever. It seems so..dirty. Groceries are incredibly expensive...there is no Target or shopping mall for hundreds of miles. All there is to do here is drink!! Drinking seems like the only thing to do 'round here and that bothers me. I don't hunt, hike, snowmobile, ride horses, etc. I downhill ski, but it looks like Jackson's the nearest resort. I can't imagine when winter hits. Minnesota winters and roads are bad enough...I imagined driving on these roads in the winter and it's already stressing me out.
There isn't an option not to move...please tell me it's not so bad.
The points you bring up are all valid concerns about what makes Wyoming so different than the places that many folk have relocated from.
If you're truly a "city girl" and acclimated to the convenience, entertainment, hospitality of those areas ... and have already had a rural experience with a family cabin, and still didn't like it there ... you're not likely to enjoy Wyoming, but you should be able to survive.
Is there anything stopping you from discovering new things to do that are compatible with Wyoming living?
While in the area, did you look at social groups that would be of interest ... church, activity, or networking through the community/jobs?
Do you see any possible opportunity to bring your professional knowledge and business skills to the area with a needed business? There's a lot of storefront space available, and as you have observed ... a lot of amenities that the "big city" has that aren't in the area now. This could be a great way for you to acclimate into the area and be financially/socially rewarding.
One of the characteristics I've seen about people that are happy in Wyoming is that they put their energy into tackling the challenges of the place ....
My family (mother born and raised in St Paul, father in Hastings) moved to Lander 36 years ago. There's actually a very large number of MN/WI transplants in the area. But that's not accounting for personal taste.
What I can say is that my wife and I moved from her home in Atlanta, Georgia (for her job, thankfully) to a small Rez town in AZ, then to Lander ~ and she also had city withdrawal issues. So we moved to Denver only to realize it's not City withdrawal, but "homesickness" for what she knows. So now we're trying to get back to GA. This realization has taken 7 years... 3 of those (in Lander actually) were the best, but it's been a HUGE strain on our relationship. That has, without a doubt, been the hardest part. She's not been happy, which introduces stress, and just makes for a life that's harder than it needs to be. We have a very good/strong relationship and I know she wants to do the best for me (I love the Rockies, not so much a fan of Georgia, so we've been out here for 7 years for me), and I want to do the best for her... but ultimately, I'd rather my wife be happy and learn to adjust to GA.
Riverton is a drinking, blue collar town (lots of roughnecks and ranchers). Lander is more government/arts oriented (county seat, lots of local/state and federal government jobs). While you're not going to be in a position to work for a large corporation, there IS a demand for your skills. But that'd still leave you wanting for shopping opportunities (Casper is the closest Target, 2~3 hour drive), and entertainment (2 movie theaters in Riverton, only one in Lander ~ none come close to even 'low rent' theaters in a city ~ very limited acting, shopping, etc...) Both towns are absolutely outdoor oriented.
You need to bring it up with your DH. If he's of any kind of quality character, he's not going to want to make you miserable (plus it will make HIM miserable if you are). Don't hold any punches on this topic because it could be a LONG time of being miserable with the possible result of splitting up (if he loves it and you hate it). On the other hand, you could find that you grow into the more relaxed lifestyle. Both towns center around kids and religious outlets for social activity ~ non church-going couples without kids are socially ostracized (my wife and I fit that, it was one of the main points to leaving ~ didn't matter I grew up in Lander). It's worth knowing that ahead of time.
Hope you can find a happy compromise with your DH.
I don't know if this will encourage you or discourage you, but 40 years ago I moved to Gillette, WY from Anchorage via Iowa. I'd already been to Gillette once to interview for a job and had turned it down, mainly because the town didn't appeal to me, but 6-8 months later the prospective employer sweetened the pot and offered me a job I really wanted.
We decided to move here for a maximum of 5 years. (I figured it would be better than the military, in which I'd just invested 4 years.) The pay was fantastic, and we'd saved enough after only two years to buy the kind of business I wanted in the midwest (Topeka, KS). But my employer again sweetened the pot if we'd stay. And I was starting to like the town. We made a pact that we wouldn't "settle" like so many people did. WE knew there were better places. For the next 5 years my wife continually reminded me of that.
At the 10-year mark I sold my business for enough that we could have retired at age 35, but I still wanted to buy another business. The deal was done. And then my wife decided she liked Gillette and refused to move. We've since divorced, but we both stayed here another 30 years after that. She finally retired to Arizona this year, and I'm still plugging away in Gillette. I just can't find anywhere I'd rather be.
This could happen to you too, if you aren't careful. Lander is situated in one of the most scenic spots in all of the west. Be careful or you might learn to love it. It can happen if you relax your guard just a little and start appreciating what the area offers instead of what it doesn't offer.
There is a lot involved here. I'll just throw a few things out that you may or may not have considered.
You say "There isn't an option not to move", ok but...
Conceivably you could try to look for some type of job that could take you to a metro or major metro some. Maybe some sort of consulting, or work with a non-traditional schedule (organized around quarterly or yearly plans, audits. meetings or special projects), or a job with some traveling on business, or mostly tele-commuting with some front office work in a bigger city, even back to Minneapolis (Riverton has several daily flights to Denver and from there to virtually anywhere). Maybe a part-time job in Casper that could turn into some tele-commuting after you are established there. Or, if you are good at networking, there might be prospects you could try to create with big-wigs in Jackson, Cody or perhaps even Lander / Riverton or Pinedale. Or you could look at internet based jobs. Or you could look locally into some sort of consulting with local businesses or corporations with local branches or public organizations (including the business sides of hospitals, school systems or regional offices of state agencies or local government). Or possibly look to start your own business.
Is the local job agreed to the kind he probably wants to keep long-term or could it be for one or a few years and "negotiable" to change down the road, especially if you really needed it? That might change the way it feels. Some couples take turns.
Riverton tends to get way less snow if you prefer less of that to deal day in - day out.
Would 1-2 weekends a month in Casper, Cheyenne or Laramie or an occasional 3-5 day trip to Denver or Salt Lake City make much difference?
If the arts are important, there is a fair amount in Jackson.
What do you like to do? Depending on the answers you might find enough on your list possible there to some degree to keep you fairly content. There are almost 40,000 in the county so there might be a bit more of interest than first appearances suggest. In house stuff or internet based stuff might not be your absolute top choices but it might be alright.
Depending on work and finances what if you could get back to Minneapolis say 1-2 times a year as a couple and a few more times on your own? Would that make it doable for you personally? It doesn't have to be 100% Wyoming and 100% together.
What you've said so far and what you may say later and your husband's reaction to both are obviously very important to how it goes. Good luck thinking and talking about it and hope you find the best approach.
Backstreet, I feel your despair...and the advice above should help you focus on some options. It's quite a challenge to be transplanted to an area where one feels there's nothing positive to cling to, regardless of how much others talk about what a great place it is. But, for one thing, there's no such thing as no choice. You just don't want the consequences of saying no--so that's a choice right there, and probably a good one. You haven't told us of any interests outside of shopping, and city activities/entertainment, so I'm going to suggest that you think about what might interest you, as a hobby/vocation, that you can take with you anywhere (it sounds as if you have no kids, because in that case the situation will be different), and create a space for yourself that you can retreat to once in a while when things get rough--maybe literally a room decorated with mementos from the world you know, or simply an inner space of interests that you'd like to explore. Don't hide out, but use it for a little time-out now and again. Art history, maybe? Or music? Making jewelry? Reading good books? U.S. history? Exotic cooking? Such interests aren't location-specific, and you can use the Internet to explore and find refuge in them, in the beginning. But then start expanding, and include related interests in the local culture. You might find that to be a fascinating connection to your new home, and a way to meet great people. And through the whole experience, write a journal. You may be amazed at the changes in perspective you may undergo, just by living somewhere else. If you've always lived in one place, and you're young, and without kids, maybe now is the time for a new, grand experiment! Take it as an adventure. Minneapolis isn't going anywhere.
Hey backstreet ~ good job on describing Riverton. I'm in Lander which is slightly more scenic than Riverton but I hate it - even though I have tried so hard to adapt. I grew up here but have never had close friends in this area. Left for 10 years after high school and ultimately came back due to the economic downturn and my husband and I were both able to get jobs here. Right now, all people talk about is hunting. Sorry but I could care less. Not that i care if people do but maybe i just need to come to terms with i don't belong here. My DH said he would move but it would be harder for him to get a job. I work in healthcare so i could probably find a job somewhere else. Leaving my DH is not what i want to do nor would be the best financial decision, i also have 2 kids but next year my DD starts school and i don't want her to feel isolated as well. GL with whatever you decide to do.
Your best bet to adapt is to get involved in outdoor activities. That is the only way to enjoy this state. I would also live in Lander over Riverton. I don't mean this as any sort of offense to people in Riverton and I have met nice people there, but the town gives me a strange vibe.
I hope I do not offend the people of this forum with this post, but I need some sense knocked into me, I guess.
My DH accepted a job in Wyoming and we are moving to either Lander or Riverton. We recently spent 2.5 weeks staying at the Holiday Inn Express in Riverton--in fact, this is my first day home from our trip. I boarded the plane IN TEARS--not tears of joy, but tears as, "I do not like this place."
We currently live in Minneapolis. I have lived in Minneapolis my entire life. I LOVE IT HERE. I am a city girl through and through. My taste of "country life" involved going to my cabin in rural northern MN my entire childhood and teen years. I liked the cabin well enough, but always couldn't wait to get back to the city, because I felt isolated and cut off from society, even for just a weekend. Needless to say, I do not like small towns.
The first few days were fine, but after that, I was already feeling depressed, cut off and isolated. The elevation gets to me--I lost my appetite, experienced headaches and my skin looks and feels terrible.
I don't like the lack of services, shopping options and entertainment. I am currently unemployed due to a layoff and I do not see where I could get a job that's not flipping burgers or working retail. I have an MBA in finance and formerly worked at a large corporate headquarters.
I'm sorry to say this, but Riverton and Lander are not for me and I am depressed as ever. It seems so..dirty. Groceries are incredibly expensive...there is no Target or shopping mall for hundreds of miles. All there is to do here is drink!! Drinking seems like the only thing to do 'round here and that bothers me. I don't hunt, hike, snowmobile, ride horses, etc. I downhill ski, but it looks like Jackson's the nearest resort. I can't imagine when winter hits. Minnesota winters and roads are bad enough...I imagined driving on these roads in the winter and it's already stressing me out.
There isn't an option not to move...please tell me it's not so bad.
Wyoming winters are actually milder than Minnesota. I don't know about how well-maintained the streets are during the winter in Minnesota or Wyoming. But as far as winter itself goes...if you can handle a Minnesota winter, you can handle a Wyoming winter.
Well it would be a quite a shock going from a Metro area with nearly a million people to a town with less than 10,000 people. I like visiting the Twin Cities but I don't know if I'd like to live there.
The winters in Wyoming should be pretty decent compared to Minnesota. Summers you wont have the humidity that Minnesota has.
We also live in an age where technology closes many gaps. Granted its not the same being there, and it never will be.
I understand what its like being famalier with where you grew up and spent your life. I also learned living someplace is what you make it. It is pretty country there, I have always liked Lander but any place close to mountains would make me happy. But that is the country boy in me.
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