Taking the plunge into the unknown, and open for suggestions. (Cheyenne: low income, ski resort)

[labrynthlily]

Ok, after much debate on whether to stay close to family here in southern ohio, or to venture out and see what else is out there, I've decided to go.
Just to fill you in, my partner and I are a lesbian couple of 9 years and we have a 15 month old baby girl. We are very low income at the moment and to be honest will probably always be below middle income. If ever the day comes that we are middle class, it will probably be in retirement, lol.

We are liberal, but not extreme. We aren't religious, but we respect ALL religions, even the ones that don't approve of us if that's their perogative. We are very open with our relationship, we don't like to hide to make other people comfortable, but we don't try to make a spectacle of ourselves or push our views on others either.

Basically, we believe that everyone can coexist with a little respect and openmindedness. And that doesn't necessarily mean that we all have to agree.

That being said, we are looking for a place where we can raise our daughter (and future children) in safety, where they won't be shunned by the entire town for having gay parents. I understand if there are a few disagreeable people, but I really don't want to be the town gossip.
As you may have gathered, we're looking for a SMALL town. We'd actually like to have a few acres of land between neighbors if possible.

We love the outdoors. But not the touristy, ski resort, pay $20 to hike up the mountain kind of outdoors. We're looking for something unspoiled. Something that isn't a bit of wilderness among a string of cities, but almost the opposite. We don't need a big city, but many small towns nearby would be nice for better work oppurtunity. We are both in medical billing/coding.

Ideally, we'd love have a view of mountains or rolling hills, somewhere REALLY affordable, we've accepted that it's going to be a fixer-upper, lol.
We HATE the humidity here in the summer, and we both love th snow, so I was looking west, maybe Wyoming or Montana, or even North Dakota.

I know. Not really lesbian mecca's right? But we just don't fit in in the city. And, although we may not fit in these places either, at least we'd have clean air and a nicer view

Any suggestions would be great. Even here in the East.

Thanks so much

[sunsprit]

IMO, you won't have a problem with "acceptance" or community for your child(ren) here in the Western reaches.

But, what I'm missing from your initial post is what you and your partner do ... or want to do ... for an income/jobs. The current economy here isn't flush with a lot of jobs, at least here in SE Wyoming there's not a lot of job openings ... and of those, they either require some advanced education/training/experience (experienced dental tech, for example) for a reasonable paying job or are very low paying service type jobs (fast food restaurant entry level help, etc). If you've been following the threads here, there's been quite a cut-back in the extractive industries in the region right now, and there's job freezes in the government sector. About the only place I know that's hiring would be prison help in Torrington, or some of the school districts in Wyoming if you're a qualified teacher (and pass the Wyoming exam).

Given that jobs/income may be a problem, then there's the issues with housing. In the "boom town" economy areas (Kemmerer, Gillette, etc) where the extractive industries have been bringing in high paying jobs with lots of overtime ... but now cut back ... housing was in very short supply and very high priced. Even if it comes down a bit in price and the market supply increases, it's still an expensive place to buy and expensive to rent (if you can find a rental that meets your needs).

It's still possible to find very "cheap" housing in a lot of outlying areas that are varying degrees of remote ... if you can afford to buy a house for $100,000, there's a fair number of possibilities. Or, as I found in Rock River yesterday, a 2bd/1ba little 'ol wood frame/clapboard 1900 built farmhouse in "town". But Rock River, like so many other isolated little communities, has virtually no commerce and very few jobs ... it's agricultural or ranching based economies you'll find in these places. So your housing is "cheap" but your income opportunities are almost non-existent. Couple that with your costs of transportation to a job market, or to shopping ... and it may not be anywhere near as "cheap" as it appears to be at first glance ... and that's on a lot in town.

To obtain acreage for privacy and separation may be more expensive. For example, here in SE Wyoming outside of Cheyenne, "cheap" 40 acre parcels are running about $2,000 (and up) per acre for what is old dryland wheat pasture areas ... almost featureless and very exposed. While your neighbor will be some distance away on their 40 acre parcel, you'll still be looking at each other's porch and windows and vehicles because there is no visual barrier between you unless you put your own fence up.
On that 40 acre parcel, you'll be drilling a well and installing a septic system. Even if you do a very basic modual house on a concrete foundation (not a basement), that's about $50,000 for a minimal house. Overall, you'll spend a minimum of $160,000 to have a place of your own in this situation ... although there are some repo's and distress deals out there that are less expensive because somebody else is taking the loss ... or it's a really "cheap" mobile home on site and in pretty dismal condition. One, about 15 miles from Cheyenne, prominently sited with a great view of the interstate was burned down by the bank to clear the site ... the house was finally deemed to be uninhabitable by the lender and they just wanted to clear the place. So it was one day a house on the hill, and the next ... a burned out rubble which was hauled off to the dump. The property is worth more without the house than it was with it.

Keep in mind that overall, the cost of living here may not be "cheap". Also, keep in mind that social services here are far more limited than in the bigger cities of Eastern USA.

If you really want "better" suggestions about where you'd want to live, your needs and expectations, you might want to post a bit more information .....

[mtlogger]

Originally Posted by labrynthlily

That being said, we are looking for a place where we can raise our daughter (and future children) in safety, where they won't be shunned by the entire town for having gay parents.

You'll fit right in. As long as you don't go overboard in public, most will ignore you.

I understand if there are a few disagreeable people, but I really don't want to be the town gossip. As you may have gathered, we're looking for a SMALL town. We'd actually like to have a few acres of land between neighbors if possible.

Small towns are gossip havens, because that's all they have in common except farming. Most of Wyoming are small towns. There's maybe 10 with pop over 8,000.

Buy land - and build your own home from scratch then it will be yours to be proud of.

[Froggie Legs]

North Dakota, from my experience, can be very hot and humid in the summers (much like western Minnesota where I'm currently living). Not sure about Montana. Wyoming has a drier heat by far. When I lived there and it hit 90 degrees I didn't notice it..but here when it's 70 and humid..bleaahhh

As sunsprit mention though, jobs are an important part of moving, regardless whether you are looking to rent or to own. Check https://www.wyomingatwork.com/ for listings of various occupations, etc.


Also, as sunsprit mentioned, Wyoming isn't a state with a lot of social programs-medical assistance, food stamps-type-etc. I know when I was a single parent living there we couldn't even get medical insurance unless it came through an employer. Times may have changed in the 10 years since I was there, but I doubt it. Hence the reason to have a job lined up and some cash in your pocket when you move.

Best advice of all is take a trip out west and experience it for yourself. Some places may suit you more than others. When you find that place that feels right, you'll know.

Good luck to you in your endeavors.

p.s. I would hope that everyone would be open minded about your family situation, but there are always some nut-jobs everywhere

- "God made us who we are. So did science. Therefore, no explanation should be demanded of us for who we are." ~Amy Birdsong