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York and Lancaster Counties Rock Hill - Fort Mill - York - Tega Cay - Lancaster
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Old 07-21-2018, 04:14 PM
 
43 posts, read 75,948 times
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Hello all,

I have a few questions regarding making friends, my wife is on Facebook on a site site I believe is called Fort Mill Moms (not 100% sure). She is reading that a few parents are saying they have children ages 10 & 13 and they are outgoing kids but they are having trouble making friends. She is saying that everyone is cliquey (if thats a word...lol).

Everything I read is its the exact opposite, so I would love to hear from the people on this board and get their opinion and experience.

I have 4 children, 3 are girls 15,13,7 and 1 boy 3 years old.
I also consider me and wife as outgoing people who can get along with pretty much anyone.

Is it hard for both children and adults to make friends?

Another question.... is it better to live in a community or outside of community to meet people and develop friendships?

Does a community having a pool better? Meaning its a meeting place to meet people as well?

My wife is now a little nervous because 1 women wrote that BUT again, I read the exact opposite.

Please let me know your thoughts.

Thanks in advance for taking the time out.

Cheers,
Jay
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Old 07-22-2018, 08:35 AM
 
625 posts, read 488,850 times
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It can be cliquey depending on your age group. In my neighborhood there's a set of moms that hangs out and reminds me of High School all over again. Some of them are nice and welcoming, but others just don't talk to anyone outside of their clique. They're about 10 years younger than me and in a different place career wise so I see that as part of it. There's also a set of moms that are all SAHM with high earning husbands. Not a group that I fit into.

I tend to keep to myself and once in a while join activities within those two different groups or other moms that I know that aren't part of any of those cliques. I just don't have time for some of the drama and nonsense that comes about within those groups.

It really depends on your personality as well. Both my husband and I are comfortable enough in our own skins to not feel the need to hang with a bunch of people that we share very little in common with except geographic location to feel like we belong with a group. We participate in neighborhood activities and socialize, but our tight friends live elsewhere. Having a neighborhood pool helps, we're always bumping into people we know, but it's with the moms that aren't in cliques that I tend to congregate with when I see them at the pool.
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Old 07-22-2018, 05:49 PM
 
43 posts, read 75,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SCCoqui View Post
It can be cliquey depending on your age group. In my neighborhood there's a set of moms that hangs out and reminds me of High School all over again. Some of them are nice and welcoming, but others just don't talk to anyone outside of their clique. They're about 10 years younger than me and in a different place career wise so I see that as part of it. There's also a set of moms that are all SAHM with high earning husbands. Not a group that I fit into.

I tend to keep to myself and once in a while join activities within those two different groups or other moms that I know that aren't part of any of those cliques. I just don't have time for some of the drama and nonsense that comes about within those groups.

It really depends on your personality as well. Both my husband and I are comfortable enough in our own skins to not feel the need to hang with a bunch of people that we share very little in common with except geographic location to feel like we belong with a group. We participate in neighborhood activities and socialize, but our tight friends live elsewhere. Having a neighborhood pool helps, we're always bumping into people we know, but it's with the moms that aren't in cliques that I tend to congregate with when I see them at the pool.
Thanks! I get it, thats probably everywhere, I was hoping that it wouldn't be the case so much their but again thats wishful thinking. I am just looking for good quality people to meet and develop friendships.

I hope its easier for the kids than adults but maybe I am wishful thinking again...lol.

Anyone on here from Springfield subdivision? Just curious what peoples thoughts are about the people who live there.

Thanks,
Jay
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Old 07-23-2018, 08:39 AM
 
Location: Over yonder a piece
4,271 posts, read 6,297,425 times
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We certainly have cliques in my neighborhood - both teen and adult. However, there are also plenty of teens and women who are NOT cliquey (interesting that men don't seem to be cliquey that I can see). In my experience, those who live on cul-de-sacs can be cliquey as a unit. But there are also cliques for moms with infants/toddlers. But I think the clique forms because of the unity of life - they all live in the same area (cul-de-sac) or have the same life experience (infants/toddlers). They don't seek to exclude because they are snobs, they just exclude by nature of their experience. But it's not malicious and not something to take offense about.

I'm sure if I lived on a cul-de-sac I'd spend a lot of time with my neighbors. But I don't, so I don't. I have teens, so I don't spend a lot of time with my neighbors because most have very, very young children, or are retired/no kids. But it's not like I avoid them, or they avoid me. We just don't have much in common, so we don't hang out. But we're all friendly with each other. I have several friends that I've made throughout our subdivision because of other activities - book club, dinner club, the n'hood Facebook page. Having a n'hood pool does enable folks to hang out as well.

I wouldn't worry about it. Your kids and your wife will absolutely make friends. How quickly depends on how willing they are to put themselves out there and participate in activities that cross their paths once you move.
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Old 07-23-2018, 12:10 PM
 
625 posts, read 488,850 times
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Originally Posted by Girl View Post
interesting that men don't seem to be cliquey that I can see
Very true!
I actually get along better with the guys / men in my neighborhood than their wives.

On another note, I live around the corner from Springfield. It seems like a really nice neighborhood and we know people that live there. There's a good range in terms of the families that live there and they have a very active community.
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Old 07-23-2018, 03:11 PM
 
43 posts, read 75,948 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Girl View Post
We certainly have cliques in my neighborhood - both teen and adult. However, there are also plenty of teens and women who are NOT cliquey (interesting that men don't seem to be cliquey that I can see). In my experience, those who live on cul-de-sacs can be cliquey as a unit. But there are also cliques for moms with infants/toddlers. But I think the clique forms because of the unity of life - they all live in the same area (cul-de-sac) or have the same life experience (infants/toddlers). They don't seek to exclude because they are snobs, they just exclude by nature of their experience. But it's not malicious and not something to take offense about.

I'm sure if I lived on a cul-de-sac I'd spend a lot of time with my neighbors. But I don't, so I don't. I have teens, so I don't spend a lot of time with my neighbors because most have very, very young children, or are retired/no kids. But it's not like I avoid them, or they avoid me. We just don't have much in common, so we don't hang out. But we're all friendly with each other. I have several friends that I've made throughout our subdivision because of other activities - book club, dinner club, the n'hood Facebook page. Having a n'hood pool does enable folks to hang out as well.

I wouldn't worry about it. Your kids and your wife will absolutely make friends. How quickly depends on how willing they are to put themselves out there and participate in activities that cross their paths once you move.
Makes sense, Thanks!

We are all pretty outgoing as well as easy going so I don't think it will be that difficult. Everyone seems to be very friendly so I am actually looking forward it.

Just booked another trip to come there on 8/24 - 8/28. Looking at some houses, the schools, the neighborhoods etc...

I will have my 2 older girls with me 15 and 13.

Excited to come there again!
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Old 07-23-2018, 03:12 PM
 
43 posts, read 75,948 times
Reputation: 25
Quote:
Originally Posted by SCCoqui View Post
Very true!
I actually get along better with the guys / men in my neighborhood than their wives.

On another note, I live around the corner from Springfield. It seems like a really nice neighborhood and we know people that live there. There's a good range in terms of the families that live there and they have a very active community.
That's Great to know!

Thanks!
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