For the meantime

Dating "in the meantime" is based on the belief that time is infinite. But in reality, "in the meantime" is wasted time, which means missed opportunities. Sure, you may be living in the moment, but it's a moment that has been dulled around the edges, stripped of importance and immediacy. When you're living in meantime mode, you're constantly letting yourself off the hook and embracing a reactive approach to life rather than a proactive one. "In the meantime" is the same saying, "This is only for now. Someday things will be different." It's like putting your life on deferral indefinitely. Well, let me tell you ladies: Someday just arrived. Someday is right now; its realizing that you've lowered your standards and settled into a pattern of diminished expectations. But it doesn't have to be that way. Many women have found lasting love after getting out of an "in the meantime" relationship, often within months, even weeks, of being newly single. And if you'd asked them why they stayed with someone they knew was wrong for so long, many say they did it out of obligation, for friendship, or simply due to fear of being alone. As long as you're living in the meantime, you'll never really know what you're missing. And by doing so, your life is just a rehearsal for a performance that never comes. So, if he is solely a meantime man, the burden is on you to cut the cord right now. You can't put it off. Life is too precious to get stuck in an endless cycle of meantimers who will never, ever wind up with you in the here and now.




Don't forget that enough "in the meantimes" could add up to a lot of lost time and confusion. Sure, you're probably learning as you go, and maybe the sex is not that bad. But are you dating him because you want to or because you need to? If it's fear that's keeping you there "in the meantime," you're cheating yourself out of other opportunities, both for personal growth and for meeting other potential mates. Like nicotine and reality TV watching, "in the meantime" can be habit-forming. Whether its holding onto that **** buddy, dating a guy who's not right, or simply dating just to date, it'll creep up on you and eventually become a addiction of sorts. More important, you may convince yourself there's something real between you just to avoid the fact that you've been exerting so much energy for something that doesn't count. And then the guy you never meant to be the one may wind up becoming the one.