The Most Unlikely Of Men
Posted 01-24-2013 at 02:47 PM by KatieGal
I come to this website several times a week. Sometimes I write my goofy thoughts into this blog. Other times I will post in the forum about religion or some social matter. And now and then I will say something concerning romance. This site’s Relationships folder is the second most active, behind only Politics and Other Controversies.
Romantic relationships can be scary, tricky, and often agonizing things. I would know. In fact, I will now submit a rather lengthy blog entry, written over the course of two days, that details how a generally kindhearted, naïve young woman was betrayed by her long-time boyfriend, survived both her pain, and her mistrust, to find another loving romance with the most unlikely of men. I don’t know if it will be a particularly instructional blog entry, but who knows, someone may find it a little interesting.
Almost immediately after coming home after graduating from college, about five years ago, I entered into a relationship. His name was Alex. The relationship went on for about 3 ½ years. It ended suddenly when Alex became involved with another woman. I loved this man and I was so heartbroken when he left me that for many weeks I lost weight and had trouble sleeping at night. It took months before the wounds even started to heal. When I first began dating again I was still stinging, and though I was not hostile towards men, I was very untrusting, and consequently very picky.
I went out with a guy who briefly complained about his workplace. I did not want to hear complaining from a man so that was it for him. Another guy seemed a bit too hyper and high-strung for me. He received no second look. I found one guy somewhat interesting, but when I revealed to him that I have a mild anxiety disorder, he looked at me like I had two heads. Farewell, sir. I tried the dating website OKCupid. I talked to a couple of guys but I never met any of them. Most of the inquires sent to me were not close to grabbing my attention what with brief, unimaginative messages, and/or egotistical, shirtless photos.
One day I went to the mall and when I was done shopping I returned to a car that had a flat tire. This older man stopped and volunteered to put on the spare. I would have just as soon called some tire service but this gentleman told me that if he put on the spare, that would allow me to have the tire fixed at my convenience. He said that my other option was to wait in the parking lot for two hours for a towing or tire service to come out. I let the man change my tire. As he worked, I stood nearby. He was a cheerful, humorous man. He wasn’t bad-looking for an older man either.
When the new tire was on, I thanked the gentleman and offered him $20 for his efforts. He declined. I then suggested I buy him lunch. At first he said no but I felt indebted to this man so I sort of insisted. As a final selling point, I gestured towards the Mexican restaurant located a few hundred yards away, just outside the mall. At last he accepted. I told him my name and he told me his; Steve.
I had a really nice time eating lunch with Steve. He had a pleasant, calm voice and he seemed to enjoy making me laugh, something I had not done enough of in the previous months. When we were done eating, he asked me if he could call me sometime. The question took me by complete surprise. It never occurred to me that this older man could have anything like that on his mind. I babbled out an “okay”. I felt the man was too old for me, of course, but to be 100% honest, I wasn’t too distressed about my reply to his offer, after all, our lunch together had not been a disagreeable experience.
Steve called me a day or so later and we chatted for about twenty minutes. I’m sure that he knew that I was feeling him out during the conversation. I learned that he was divorced, had two children, and owned a condo. I was far from thrilled by Steve’s disclosures, but at least he was being up front and honest. He finally asked me if I would like to go out to a Thai restaurant on the following Friday. With deep hesitation I said yes.
In the intermediate three days I felt increasingly gloomy about the whole thing. He was a nice guy, but he was just so much older,and besides,I was sure something else must be wrong with him. My imagination came up with a lot of things and none of them were good. By the time Friday rolled around I really did not want to go.
Steve took me to a pleasant little Thai restaurant. After we ate, we sat around for another half hour, had another drink, and talked. For a while I had this distinct feeling that I was there with an “older man”. I think I felt a little self-conscious about it. But as time passed that evening, I quit thinking about it. The thing was; Steve simply did not seem like an older guy. More important, and more shocking, I started having a good time, almost despite myself. Steve was funny and had a lively but yet relaxed spirit. All those bad things my imagination had spent days concocting now seemed idiotic. I finally decided I would tell him of my anxiety disorder. Steve response was that “none of us have been made perfectly”. I felt heartened by that answer.
When Steve took me home to my condominium, he walked me to my door, gave me a quick kiss and said goodnight. If Steve had done anything more, if he had given me a passionate kiss, for example, it would have been too much and I might have suddenly found this older guy kind of creepy. On the other hand, anything less and I might have assumed that what I had experienced was just a “friendly date” between two people of different ages. An hour later, when I laid in bed that night, I had a positive feeling about the man with whom I had spent the evening. It had been a year since I had felt that way about a man. To be completely open, I started to cry; not because I had met Mr. Right, but because I discovered that despite all the emotional pain and trauma I had gone through in the previous seven months, the old Kate was still there underneath it all.
Four or five nights later Steve and I went miniature golfing, of all things. We had a lot of fun. Silliness sprang out of me that had gone unseen since the end of my relationship with Alex many months earlier. Afterwards, Steve and I went to my condo where we kicked back and had drinks on my patio. When Steve said goodnight, he kissed me twice in rapid order. The first kiss was a quick peck, but the second kiss a bit lingering. Again, his instincts were perfect. Through a couple of kisses I knew exactly what was going on. I not only knew his intentions, but I knew, much to my surprise, that I kind of liked his intentions.
Perhaps a week after the miniature golf date, Steve and I went to a fancy Italian restaurant. It was during the middle of the week and we did not think we would have any trouble getting seated. We were wrong. There was an hour wait.
There in the restaurant waiting area, Steve turned to me, gently took my hand, and suggested an alternative plan. I never heard a word he said. All that I was aware of was that this engaging, good-looking man had spontaneously taken my hand in his. It was as though first my hand, and then my entire body had come under the influence of this strange, euphoric drug. When I recovered from the spell a moment later, I knew that this “older guy” was well on his way to breaking down my barriers. To tell you the truth, it was a bit scary.
One evening about a week later, my anxiety disorder got the best of me for several hours and my behavior became unduly distraught. I took some prescription Xanax but it took a while for it to take effect. Steve was there and he handled the situation very well. After the episode had passed, I felt the need to apologize, but Steve would not hear of it. He joked that if he did not have to apologize for his imperfect nose, I need not apologize for the onset of a tiny psychological disorder. If I had any lingering doubts about the man, that pretty much ended them. The next day I went grocery shopping. I bought Steve’s favorite red wine, and then drifted into the store’s pharmacy where much to my disbelief, I picked up some condoms. No, there was no doubt about it; this older gentleman had navigated through all my personal issues, endured all my roadblocks, and found Katie.
The following Saturday, about five weeks after we first met in a parking lot, Steve and I went on an evening walk through my neighborhood. We stopped for a few minutes and sat on a bench at a bus stop. While sitting there quietly talking, Steve gently, sensuously glided his fingertips up and down my bare forearm. I’m not sure he knew what he was doing to me, but I certainly did. When we got back to my condo, I was hot for action and in no uncertain terms I let Steve know it. He calmly asked me if I was absolutely certain about what we were about to do. I assured him that I was.
During the following weeks I felt very good about both this man, and myself, but yet I could not accept that I was submerging myself into an exclusive relationship with this older gentleman. For a few days I fought the idea. But the unmistakable reality was; Steve was a genuinely good man, and I loved being with him. I finally dismissed my apprehension, and actually became a bit angry at myself for ever feeling it. I’ve always considered myself open-minded. It was time to prove to myself that I was.
Strangely, when it comes to men and romance, I think that because of Alex I will always be at least a little distrusting and guarded. But I have come to realize that the distrust is my shortcoming and not the shortcoming of the men of the world. And I also know that the right man can eliminate that distrust, because although I still may not have an absolute trust in men generally, I trust Steve implicitly.
Saturday we will be leaving Yuma for Las Vegas, then to Death Valley for some hiking, and finally to Barstow, California to meet an old friend of Steve’s. I’m both excited and nervous; but mostly excited.
Romantic relationships can be scary, tricky, and often agonizing things. I would know. In fact, I will now submit a rather lengthy blog entry, written over the course of two days, that details how a generally kindhearted, naïve young woman was betrayed by her long-time boyfriend, survived both her pain, and her mistrust, to find another loving romance with the most unlikely of men. I don’t know if it will be a particularly instructional blog entry, but who knows, someone may find it a little interesting.
Almost immediately after coming home after graduating from college, about five years ago, I entered into a relationship. His name was Alex. The relationship went on for about 3 ½ years. It ended suddenly when Alex became involved with another woman. I loved this man and I was so heartbroken when he left me that for many weeks I lost weight and had trouble sleeping at night. It took months before the wounds even started to heal. When I first began dating again I was still stinging, and though I was not hostile towards men, I was very untrusting, and consequently very picky.
I went out with a guy who briefly complained about his workplace. I did not want to hear complaining from a man so that was it for him. Another guy seemed a bit too hyper and high-strung for me. He received no second look. I found one guy somewhat interesting, but when I revealed to him that I have a mild anxiety disorder, he looked at me like I had two heads. Farewell, sir. I tried the dating website OKCupid. I talked to a couple of guys but I never met any of them. Most of the inquires sent to me were not close to grabbing my attention what with brief, unimaginative messages, and/or egotistical, shirtless photos.
One day I went to the mall and when I was done shopping I returned to a car that had a flat tire. This older man stopped and volunteered to put on the spare. I would have just as soon called some tire service but this gentleman told me that if he put on the spare, that would allow me to have the tire fixed at my convenience. He said that my other option was to wait in the parking lot for two hours for a towing or tire service to come out. I let the man change my tire. As he worked, I stood nearby. He was a cheerful, humorous man. He wasn’t bad-looking for an older man either.
When the new tire was on, I thanked the gentleman and offered him $20 for his efforts. He declined. I then suggested I buy him lunch. At first he said no but I felt indebted to this man so I sort of insisted. As a final selling point, I gestured towards the Mexican restaurant located a few hundred yards away, just outside the mall. At last he accepted. I told him my name and he told me his; Steve.
I had a really nice time eating lunch with Steve. He had a pleasant, calm voice and he seemed to enjoy making me laugh, something I had not done enough of in the previous months. When we were done eating, he asked me if he could call me sometime. The question took me by complete surprise. It never occurred to me that this older man could have anything like that on his mind. I babbled out an “okay”. I felt the man was too old for me, of course, but to be 100% honest, I wasn’t too distressed about my reply to his offer, after all, our lunch together had not been a disagreeable experience.
Steve called me a day or so later and we chatted for about twenty minutes. I’m sure that he knew that I was feeling him out during the conversation. I learned that he was divorced, had two children, and owned a condo. I was far from thrilled by Steve’s disclosures, but at least he was being up front and honest. He finally asked me if I would like to go out to a Thai restaurant on the following Friday. With deep hesitation I said yes.
In the intermediate three days I felt increasingly gloomy about the whole thing. He was a nice guy, but he was just so much older,and besides,I was sure something else must be wrong with him. My imagination came up with a lot of things and none of them were good. By the time Friday rolled around I really did not want to go.
Steve took me to a pleasant little Thai restaurant. After we ate, we sat around for another half hour, had another drink, and talked. For a while I had this distinct feeling that I was there with an “older man”. I think I felt a little self-conscious about it. But as time passed that evening, I quit thinking about it. The thing was; Steve simply did not seem like an older guy. More important, and more shocking, I started having a good time, almost despite myself. Steve was funny and had a lively but yet relaxed spirit. All those bad things my imagination had spent days concocting now seemed idiotic. I finally decided I would tell him of my anxiety disorder. Steve response was that “none of us have been made perfectly”. I felt heartened by that answer.
When Steve took me home to my condominium, he walked me to my door, gave me a quick kiss and said goodnight. If Steve had done anything more, if he had given me a passionate kiss, for example, it would have been too much and I might have suddenly found this older guy kind of creepy. On the other hand, anything less and I might have assumed that what I had experienced was just a “friendly date” between two people of different ages. An hour later, when I laid in bed that night, I had a positive feeling about the man with whom I had spent the evening. It had been a year since I had felt that way about a man. To be completely open, I started to cry; not because I had met Mr. Right, but because I discovered that despite all the emotional pain and trauma I had gone through in the previous seven months, the old Kate was still there underneath it all.
Four or five nights later Steve and I went miniature golfing, of all things. We had a lot of fun. Silliness sprang out of me that had gone unseen since the end of my relationship with Alex many months earlier. Afterwards, Steve and I went to my condo where we kicked back and had drinks on my patio. When Steve said goodnight, he kissed me twice in rapid order. The first kiss was a quick peck, but the second kiss a bit lingering. Again, his instincts were perfect. Through a couple of kisses I knew exactly what was going on. I not only knew his intentions, but I knew, much to my surprise, that I kind of liked his intentions.
Perhaps a week after the miniature golf date, Steve and I went to a fancy Italian restaurant. It was during the middle of the week and we did not think we would have any trouble getting seated. We were wrong. There was an hour wait.
There in the restaurant waiting area, Steve turned to me, gently took my hand, and suggested an alternative plan. I never heard a word he said. All that I was aware of was that this engaging, good-looking man had spontaneously taken my hand in his. It was as though first my hand, and then my entire body had come under the influence of this strange, euphoric drug. When I recovered from the spell a moment later, I knew that this “older guy” was well on his way to breaking down my barriers. To tell you the truth, it was a bit scary.
One evening about a week later, my anxiety disorder got the best of me for several hours and my behavior became unduly distraught. I took some prescription Xanax but it took a while for it to take effect. Steve was there and he handled the situation very well. After the episode had passed, I felt the need to apologize, but Steve would not hear of it. He joked that if he did not have to apologize for his imperfect nose, I need not apologize for the onset of a tiny psychological disorder. If I had any lingering doubts about the man, that pretty much ended them. The next day I went grocery shopping. I bought Steve’s favorite red wine, and then drifted into the store’s pharmacy where much to my disbelief, I picked up some condoms. No, there was no doubt about it; this older gentleman had navigated through all my personal issues, endured all my roadblocks, and found Katie.
The following Saturday, about five weeks after we first met in a parking lot, Steve and I went on an evening walk through my neighborhood. We stopped for a few minutes and sat on a bench at a bus stop. While sitting there quietly talking, Steve gently, sensuously glided his fingertips up and down my bare forearm. I’m not sure he knew what he was doing to me, but I certainly did. When we got back to my condo, I was hot for action and in no uncertain terms I let Steve know it. He calmly asked me if I was absolutely certain about what we were about to do. I assured him that I was.
During the following weeks I felt very good about both this man, and myself, but yet I could not accept that I was submerging myself into an exclusive relationship with this older gentleman. For a few days I fought the idea. But the unmistakable reality was; Steve was a genuinely good man, and I loved being with him. I finally dismissed my apprehension, and actually became a bit angry at myself for ever feeling it. I’ve always considered myself open-minded. It was time to prove to myself that I was.
Strangely, when it comes to men and romance, I think that because of Alex I will always be at least a little distrusting and guarded. But I have come to realize that the distrust is my shortcoming and not the shortcoming of the men of the world. And I also know that the right man can eliminate that distrust, because although I still may not have an absolute trust in men generally, I trust Steve implicitly.
Saturday we will be leaving Yuma for Las Vegas, then to Death Valley for some hiking, and finally to Barstow, California to meet an old friend of Steve’s. I’m both excited and nervous; but mostly excited.
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