How to Make Female Friends in Albuquerque? (houses, high school)
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I relocated to Albuquerque a year ago, and I am struggling on how to make new friends.
My original attempts at making female friends did not pan out. Some how things always turn into a competition. I am not the competitive type, and I certainly do not compete with friends, but it always ends up like they are competiting with me. I have been told that "women are like that", but I do not want to think all women are jealous, petty and mean.
I have joined several meetup groups but I noticed that the average age of the participants are generally my parent's age and older and male. I really want to make female friends within my own age range + or - a few years (I am in my early 30's), I am honestly not too interested in making male friends at this time. Reason why is because some males befriend me with the intentions of dating, and it makes the friendship feel very awkward. I have unfortunately had to cut ties with several male friends because they were either angry with me for choosing not to date them or simply because I grew tired of their advances. I do believe that men and women can be platonic friends, but those friendships are harder to find, so in general I avoid it. So please, I would appreciate if you do not criticize me for that.
Anyways, please provide some suggestions on how to meet other ladies my own age? I do not have children as of yet, and I work in a professional career.
Most people go through friend die-offs when the following life events happen:
*Graduate high school (usually replaced by friends at college or at work)
*Graduate college (sometimes replaced by friends at work)
*Move to a new town for a fresh start (sometimes replaced by friends at work)
*Get in a serious relationship (usually never replaced)
*Have children (sometimes replaced by friends with children)
Making new friends when you're recovering from a die-off is always challenging, but Albuquerque's culture makes it especially so.
The good news is in addition to the jealous, petty, and mean women in this town, there are a good number of great friends you haven't met yet. Just have to make it a numbers game and accept that it won't happen as often as it does happen.
Athletic clubs like soccer, roller derby, and women's football, young mom-oriented activities (you may not be at that stage in your life yet but most of your cohort is), religious activities if that's your thing, political activities if that's your thing, and old-fashioned things that you discover without involving an internet connection tend to have lower quantities but higher qualities.
Can also consider taking on a side job that requires a large amount of networking to be successful (such as sales) to improve your number of contacts and force yourself to be more aggressive with making friends. Albuquerqueans, as an aggregate, are shy but loyal.
With regard to guy friends, many have dating on their mind and that is just as acceptable to them as finding guy friends not to date is to you. They also represent a great vector for meeting female friends if you can find some that are content with being friends (it's much easier to stay platonic if you help them find what they're looking for through your own network, like introducing them to your single friends, cheering when they're together, and supporting them when it doesn't work out).
Hi there! I'm in a similar boat lol. Making friends not so hard, making friends that aren't stuck in high-school ehhh a little harder. My name is Sabrina, let me know if you're still looking for a friend
As an adult without kids, you never really stop needing to make new friends. So many people just have their families and check out.
I think the best thing is to find new hobbies and activities and meet people through that. I also find that friends can be too competitive but I am a guy. Next point is that so many people partake in social/charitable activities with some career/business interest - you think gee here's a nice guy then he's giving you his card. On the other hand, you may enjoy starting a small weekend business (example, a co-worker setup bounce houses for kids parties on weekends) and getting some social interaction through that.
It also seems like female/gay friends always wind up making advances towards me, so I need to friend zone them right away and wear more beige. Super strange how this has come to be my place in the world but so it is.
As an adult without kids, you never really stop needing to make new friends. So many people just have their families and check out.
I think the best thing is to find new hobbies and activities and meet people through that. I also find that friends can be too competitive but I am a guy. Next point is that so many people partake in social/charitable activities with some career/business interest - you think gee here's a nice guy then he's giving you his card. On the other hand, you may enjoy starting a small weekend business (example, a co-worker setup bounce houses for kids parties on weekends) and getting some social interaction through that.
It also seems like female/gay friends always wind up making advances towards me, so I need to friend zone them right away and wear more beige. Super strange how this has come to be my place in the world but so it is.
Thanks. Yes, I agree that having a circle of friends is a must. I am definitely joining meetups and etc. to expand my circle.
It's tough, OP. I'm a professional woman in my early 30s as well, no kids, and even though I'm from here, I've fallen out of alignment with all my friends because they're all about their babies/children, whereas I'm more interested in traveling, attending festivals, taking personal enrichment classes, etc. I'm perusing the UNM DCE catalog to see if any of the summer classes offered pique my interest. What sort of things are you interested in? Perhaps start your own meetup group!
It's tough, OP. I'm a professional woman in my early 30s as well, no kids, and even though I'm from here, I've fallen out of alignment with all my friends because they're all about their babies/children, whereas I'm more interested in traveling, attending festivals, taking personal enrichment classes, etc. I'm perusing the UNM DCE catalog to see if any of the summer classes offered pique my interest. What sort of things are you interested in? Perhaps start your own meetup group!
I am interested in technology and languages, but the technology meetups are filled with introverted people not really interested in making friends. They are also pretty awkward lol and not sure how to interact with women. I too, am taking personal enrichment courses so that I can improve in my career. I waited to have children because my fiance and I are waiting until after he graduates with his degree. So, I feel a bit out of place with other women my age because most have children by now.
Maybe I should start a meetup group! Great idea
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