unhappy transplant NWA (Fayetteville, England: home, school, living in)

[AR unhappy]

Hello everyone, I been living in NWA (Fayetteville) for the last 5 years but lately more than ever I'm feeling out place here. I have great friends, run my own business however something is missing. I relocated here from NJ. I miss the culture that NJ/NY has to offer. I know many will say this is not the place to find my answers but if anyone been in a similar situation can you please share?
Thanks

[Rock Climber]

Can you be more specific about what aspects of the culture of NY/NJ you miss?

Is it the ethnic cultures, the big city amenities, the nightlife?

[AR unhappy]

Is difficult to explain. I miss the atmosphere (vibe) of the people in NJ/NY.

[Tall Traveler]

Originally Posted by AR unhappy

Is difficult to explain. I miss the atmosphere (vibe) of the people in NJ/NY.

What's stopping you from going back? Arkansas is much different than NJ, so not surprising you had a culture shock.

[nmnita]

All I can say is you really can't return. No, I do not mean you physically can not return, I mean things are never the same. We tried this when we moved from So. Calif. to Northern CA and then back. We were young, had great friends in So. CA and family. Still it just wasn't the same. Some things were, some we were excited about returning to but it just wasn't for us anymore. Our younger daughter thought someday she would move back to L.A.. Now in her 50s she gets all CA. she needs just by visiting every few years. She lives in Florida. Our son did move back. He has been there a year. He will relocate, probably back to Florida or maybe Dallas in a few months.

Yes, you probably will never get over missing some parts of Jersey. We have good friends here who lived in NJ for 35 years and retired here about the same time as we did, 8 years ago. She still misses the thrill and excitement of the city. Would she move back? Probably not.

The other side of the coin: certainly NJ and AR are very different. You may not ever get over missing your life in NJ. I don't think anyone call give you an answer. Is there a reason you can not move back? Do you think there are things you would miss about NWA if you did move back. Where is your family? Have you given much thought about what you didn't like about NJ or why you left? How old are you or should I ask what general bracket are you in? young, 30 something, middle age or older?

I am not sure if I have helped you at all, but I have given you a couple of examples of people on both sides.

[DC at the Ridge]

My family moved here from Massachusetts, so I do get what you mean. Different places have different rhythms, and you don't realize this until you move away. My mother missed her family and friends when we moved, but my father missed the more intangible things. He missed the smells, the accents, the vibe. And he still does, though he would never move back. Because he realized that Northwest Arkansas has its own vibe, and he grew accustomed to it and grew to love it as well. And my parents visit New England regularly, and like Nita says, it's still a different world, but it's a different world than the one my parents moved away from, too. The world doesn't stay the same. And my parents didn't stay the same. When you move someplace that's so different from the place you moved from, you find that the culture of both places get instilled in you. It's not so much about fitting in both places, but about appreciating what every place has to offer, and that no place is perfect.

[nmnita]

Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge

My family moved here from Massachusetts, so I do get what you mean. Different places have different rhythms, and you don't realize this until you move away. My mother missed her family and friends when we moved, but my father missed the more intangible things. He missed the smells, the accents, the vibe. And he still does, though he would never move back. Because he realized that Northwest Arkansas has its own vibe, and he grew accustomed to it and grew to love it as well. And my parents visit New England regularly, and like Nita says, it's still a different world, but it's a different world than the one my parents moved away from, too. The world doesn't stay the same. And my parents didn't stay the same. When you move someplace that's so different from the place you moved from, you find that the culture of both places get instilled in you. It's not so much about fitting in both places, but about appreciating what every place has to offer, and that no place is perfect.

Very well put: I think the phrase "nothing stays the same" is the best way to put it.

[jim9251]

I can understand how you feel after moving FROM Fayetteville TO Colorado. The only good thing about this place is no humidity and no mosquitoes. I would move back to northwest Arkansas in a heartbeat if I could.

[AR unhappy]

Originally Posted by nmnita

All I can say is you really can't return. No, I do not mean you physically can not return, I mean things are never the same. We tried this when we moved from So. Calif. to Northern CA and then back. We were young, had great friends in So. CA and family. Still it just wasn't the same. Some things were, some we were excited about returning to but it just wasn't for us anymore. Our younger daughter thought someday she would move back to L.A.. Now in her 50s she gets all CA. she needs just by visiting every few years. She lives in Florida. Our son did move back. He has been there a year. He will relocate, probably back to Florida or maybe Dallas in a few months.

Yes, you probably will never get over missing some parts of Jersey. We have good friends here who lived in NJ for 35 years and retired here about the same time as we did, 8 years ago. She still misses the thrill and excitement of the city. Would she move back? Probably not.

The other side of the coin: certainly NJ and AR are very different. You may not ever get over missing your life in NJ. I don't think anyone call give you an answer. Is there a reason you can not move back? Do you think there are things you would miss about NWA if you did move back. Where is your family? Have you given much thought about what you didn't like about NJ or why you left? How old are you or should I ask what general bracket are you in? young, 30 something, middle age or older?

I am not sure if I have helped you at all, but I have given you a couple of examples of people on both sides.

Hi nmnita, Thank you for taking the time and giving me your input. A little about me I'm single in my early 30, have great friends in the area and I'm self-employed ( my business is what's keeping me here) I enjoy the outdoors in NWA I want to go back because I do miss my family and friends back home NJ. Also the culture. I do feel at times that I had try all I can do be content here however that's not working. I fail on to major depression last year which it took a lot to bring me out of it. I think NWA is a great place for families not so great for single plp.
I must add I spend 7 months in NJ/NY last summer while finishing school. While in NJ I feel alive , full of energy and inspire. Not the case in NWA I have to push myself to do things here.
Thank you again !

[AR unhappy]

Originally Posted by DC at the Ridge

My family moved here from Massachusetts, so I do get what you mean. Different places have different rhythms, and you don't realize this until you move away. My mother missed her family and friends when we moved, but my father missed the more intangible things. He missed the smells, the accents, the vibe. And he still does, though he would never move back. Because he realized that Northwest Arkansas has its own vibe, and he grew accustomed to it and grew to love it as well. And my parents visit New England regularly, and like Nita says, it's still a different world, but it's a different world than the one my parents moved away from, too. The world doesn't stay the same. And my parents didn't stay the same. When you move someplace that's so different from the place you moved from, you find that the culture of both places get instilled in you. It's not so much about fitting in both places, but about appreciating what every place has to offer, and that no place is perfect.

I agree nothing stay the same and I realized all the good things NWA has to offer.