Perfect Weather vs Quality of People (San Diego to Austin) (Houston: apartment, rent)

[dakicka]

Originally from NJ, moved to Irvine, CA at 26 for weather, change and a better quality of life. After 2 years I quickly realized the (majority) of OC was very self-indulged, flaky (see not reliable, bails on plans), opportunistic (strategic friendships if they benefit somehow) and in general a plastic culture.

I moved down to San Diego and have been here for 8 years. Now, 35, I am really confused at what God's plan is for me. I thought I wanted this perfect weather (and I do), but it seems like everything else lacks substance here. I feel with perfect weather, people don't know how to handle advertisity, it takes away their resiliency/toughness, and people in general are only there when convenient for them.

I'm getting scared I'll be single forever and never meet a woman of substance that is also attractive. Friendships have been very bland here and dating is a waste of time. The women are GORGEOUS here, but as a whole, it's my same experience - weather is nice, but everything else is not real. Dating is very transactional and I never had issues in NJ courting women, here it is easy to find ladies, but very few are mature that aren't out of the party/fun/single/hookup mentality.

I am in Austin and Dallas 8+x a year for my business - we run football camps for kids nationwide, and naturally TX is a hot bed for us. I always leave Texas with a smile because of the people. Always hospitable, helping, go above and beyond to welcome you and are so darn thoughtful. I sense more of a community feel and more of a true effort of the Golden Rule in Texas. In SoCal from SD to OC to LA it just feels like everyone is in this world on their own and fighting to get ahead. In Texas I feel like people care about their fellow man and take pride in being good people and helping others.

Anyway, the weather in San Diego is beyond incredible and I know Austin can be hotter than heck in May, June, July, August and sometimes even April, September, October. With that said, is there anyone here that has weighed their Pros/Cons of a similar concern (People vs Weather) and moved here and was able to overcome the heat in the late spring to early fall? Also the cost of home ownership here is absurd and unless you have 500K for a house, you're getting a dump, or a nice home very far from civilization in a less pleasing climate area. From my research, it seems like I could very affordably rent for under 1100/m there or even own for under 280K for a very nice home! Rents shot up from 1300 to an 1800/m avg in last 3 years here (nicer areas even higher like 2K-2200/m) for a ONE Bedroom, it's crazy!! I was looking at places within 5-20 miles north of Downtown. I like Cedar Park and Round Rock, but feel that I35 traffic and the distance to airport might be a little too far considering I fly often. West Lake is gorgeous, but way too expensive for me and too uppity. So If you have any 'hood' suggestions, let me know.

Other things that I'm all about besides the good people are:
Lakes
Bass Fishing
Creeks/Rivers/Streams
Stand up Paddleboarding
Food/Dining Out
Plucker's / Academy / Rudy's / Salt Lick / Whataburger / Cane's/Hula Hutt (lol)
Outdoor trails / biking / hiking
Nature
Golf
Football
College Football
HS Football
Coaching kids

So obviously with these 'likes' / interests, many signs point to Texas for me. Orig from NJ as I said... my dad went to UNT and I truly believe a lot of who I am was rubbed off from his 6 years of living as a Texan... principles like:

Do what you say, say what you're going to do
Golden Rule
Waiving to people or saying hi in the post office
Caring to have more than a surface level convo with someone
Offering help when someone is in need
General reliability / follow-through

I know this is sort of a long rant (lol) and here's where I'm at. A friend is letting me rent out her apartment just south of Downtown Austin (South Congress - 5 min south of Town Lake) for a month in January so I can do some recon and decide if I can really see myself living here, or if I'm just sucked in by my 3 or 4 day a clip visits, and the desire for perfect weather will override me after living in Texas on a more permanent basis.

I guess my questions are....
Has anyone felt the substanceless environment I reference in SoCal? Just bad luck finding the right people? Or is it true that Texans are just better people in general and I'd probably have better odds of meeting a southern belle with values and class versus these sleezy girls I meet in San Diego, and also better friendships with integrity vs 'what's in it for me' kinda folks? Thanks for any advice RE is weather that bad, are people that good, is it a good place to be or am I better sticking with perfect weather. I just don't know if I'd be miserable in the summer and regret moving or if I'd learn to deal with it and just do A/C more and travel out of town more for camps in other cities in the summer. I have a flexible setup where I work basically on the football field or my home office, so no commuting to an office for work per se.

Thanks for your help and time!

[dakicka]

I forgot to mention, I'm more into lakes than the ocean. Afraid of great white sharks lol. Thoroughly enjoy bass fishing and it is not too exciting freshwater fishing in SoCal. In Texas it seems like the lakes are so much better.

Also, what are the areas Buda and Manchaca all about? On the map they seem only 20 min from Downtown, and not far from airport. And the home prices are way less too. Curious if that is a barren area and boring or what it's all about. Can def check the south parts more next month, as all I know area wise is CP, RR, Pflugerville, Lake Travis, West Lake, Hutto, Barton Springs/Creek, Downtown, the area by the UT Golf Club (seems real nice but a bit of a drive from stuff), and the area by Top Golf. That's about all the hoods I know haha. Again, I do like thr Cedar Park area like all the nice restaurants and stores on 1431 but it is quite a haul to the airport from there, and probably not the most conducive being single still I would think.

[cBach]

I've lived in the Northeast where you are originally from, the West Coast, the Midwest, and portions of the Southeast.

Weather doesn't matter until it matters. If you are in a place where you always have to scrape vehicles, plan for inclement conditions anytime you go out, etc... then the weather does matter. If the weather is just a matter of extremes, then you can dress appropriately. Texas is moreso the latter than the former. As long as you have a car and apartment/house with good A/C, you're good to go.

As far as the women, I don't know what to say. Dating was always easy until I hit my 40's. I feel like women still want that perfect guy but they don't realize they aren't perfect at their age. The ratios are bad here, you would probably be better off back in NJ, to be honest if that is your biggest concern.

But your interests dovetail with this place very well.

I'll let others chime in on Buda, I personally wouldn't like it down there, your commute is going to be atrocious.

[radiolibre99]

Dakicka, I am in Los Angeles and am making the move to Texas real soon as well. I understand exactly what you're talking about and have finally decided that SoCal may not be for me. I am a native Texan but have spent a lot of life outside of Texas after high school in the Northeast and then on the West Coast. There is something I just don't like about the professional life in cities on the coast. It seems to attract a lot of overly competitive pop culture centered A types that think a camera is on them at all times. It was always tough to get people to just be real. Many of the people I knew thought they were the star of their own network sitcom, I mean the aloofness, the pretentiousness, and the self awareness of their social status made it seem as though they were incapable of being genuine. I even saw it it in the kids. It was as though they were wannabe instagram and youtube stars in the making.

I even thought I could move further south into the OC and San Diego thinking it would be different but you say that it's more of the same?

I don't know about Austin but it does seem way more genuine. With that comes a caveat in that it does seem to be the place in Texas where similar types of people described above converge because it's the hip place to be but it could just be the center while the outer towns and burns not so much. Other than that my times in Austin were very pleasant because of how social Texans can be without the awkwardness and fakeness of you'd find in SoCal.

And I am only talking about the professional life in CA. I've met plenty of nice people in LA but it was always just casual cordial encounters. If I were you I wouldn't worry about the weather. Move to where you're happiest and where you think you'll flourish.

[dakicka]

Originally Posted by radiolibre99

Dakicka, I am in Los Angeles and am making the move to Texas real soon as well. I understand exactly what you're talking about and have finally decided that SoCal may not be for me.

...It was as though they were wannabe instagram and youtube stars in the making.

I even thought I could move further south into the OC and San Diego thinking it would be different but you say that it's more of the same?

I don't know about Austin but it does seem way more genuine. With that comes a caveat in that it does seem to be the place in Texas where similar types of people described above converge because it's the hip place to be but it could just be the center while the outer towns and burns not so much. Other than that my times in Austin were very pleasant because of how social Texans can be without the awkwardness and fakeness of you'd find in SoCal.

And I am only talking about the professional life in CA. I've met plenty of nice people in LA but it was always just casual cordial encounters. If I were you I wouldn't worry about the weather. Move to where you're happiest and where you think you'll flourish.

* YES very similar actually (SD), but definitely better than OC and LA, but a similar fakeness : (
* Agreed that Texas in general seems more genuine, but perhaps Austin could have a lot of the rollover of the Californians - I do see they move to Austin in the masses, and that is indeed concerning.
* RE Move to where you're happiest and will flourish - great advice.

I appreciate you taking the time to chime in and good to see I'm not the only one who feels this way about the people in SoCal (not ALL of them, but MANY/most of them). And the disease rubs off on you too. And very funny about the wannabee instagram and YouTube stars. I always joke with my friends that every girl here is an instagram model. They buy fake likes/followers and have 20,000 followers but only get 40 likes on a photo and constantly check it for validation... sort of epitomizes this area and it makes me sick. I am sure there are these kinds of folks everywhere, and especially in NYC I'd imagine too, but I just want to be where there are less of them and more genuine people to make living more happy and less stressful! And finding a good southern belle on top of that would be nice haha.

[dakicka]

Originally Posted by cBach

If you are in a place where you always have to scrape vehicles, plan for inclement conditions anytime you go out, etc... then the weather does matter. If the weather is just a matter of extremes, then you can dress appropriately. Texas is moreso the latter than the former. As long as you have a car and apartment/house with good A/C, you're good to go.

But your interests dovetail with this place very well.

This is encouraging to hear haha. I guess I could probably acclimate too, after a year or two if it. I know when I first moved to California I would be in shorts/tshirt year round and then I suppose my blood 'thinned out' and now if it hits sub 55 in the 'winter' I actually wear a hoodie and sweats lol. So maybe God made us a way that we can adapt to our environment and maybe it has always just been super awful visiting in June-August just because I'm not 'Texas tough' yet lol. Or at least that's what I'll tell myself.

I'm excited about making this 3 week pilgrimage next month, but really trying to gain some insight on the right areas people can recommend I check out - for possible house purchase, but most likely would just rent somewhere for a year to see if I can 'hang' with the heat and like it or if I miss the perfect weather too much.

[radiolibre99]

Originally Posted by dakicka

* YES very similar actually (SD), but definitely better than OC and LA, but a similar fakeness : (
* Agreed that Texas in general seems more genuine, but perhaps Austin could have a lot of the rollover of the Californians - I do see they move to Austin in the masses, and that is indeed concerning.
* RE Move to where you're happiest and will flourish - great advice.

I appreciate you taking the time to chime in and good to see I'm not the only one who feels this way about the people in SoCal (not ALL of them, but MANY/most of them). And the disease rubs off on you too. And very funny about the wannabee instagram and YouTube stars. I always joke with my friends that every girl here is an instagram model. They buy fake likes/followers and have 20,000 followers but only get 40 likes on a photo and constantly check it for validation... sort of epitomizes this area and it makes me sick. I am sure there are these kinds of folks everywhere, and especially in NYC I'd imagine too, but I just want to be where there are less of them and more genuine people to make living more happy and less stressful! And finding a good southern belle on top of that would be nice haha.

Texas is the perfect medium as far as I'm concerned. It's a desirable state but it will never be as desirable for the people mentioned in our posts. It will never attract those crowds in spades. It usually tends to attract serious people who get down to business. The only exception I would say is Austin which attracts some types looking for a city to define their lifestyle. But most of the time those people end up moving elsewhere cus they just can't be superstars or live out their reality show dreams. Move a little further away from the center of town.

I am actually moving to Houston cus I am used to big cities but what I love about Houston is what I mentioned above. It has just the right kind of city life amenities but lacks the overall pretentiousness and overly competitive zeal from the types that are attracted to more worldly cities such as LA, SF and NYC.

Focus on where you will be happiest. I am an extrovert. I love being social. I am not shy one bit and I love people. That's what happens when you grow up in Texas which sort of stresses being social as an aspect of the culture. I feel as though you can talk to almost anyone in Texas and not get a, "who the F are you", kinda vibe. That makes it so much easier to meet people and make friends. To me that is key to my personal happiness. I've made good friends in LA but the social life seems so limited in LA, IMO. I feel as though the unwritten rule is to only engage with your clique during outings. I experienced the same when living in Boston, (although NYC was different and seemed a bit more social).

Anyways I am ranting at this point. Just make sure you choose a place where you feel you'll get the most out of relationships because perfect weather is fine but if you're anything like me you prefer genuine friendship and a great social and professional life.

[dakicka]

Originally Posted by radiolibre99

I feel as though you can talk to almost anyone in Texas and not get a, "who the F are you", kinda vibe. That makes it so much easier to meet people and make friends. To me that is key to my personal happiness.

Just make sure you choose a place where you feel you'll get the most out of relationships because perfect weather is fine but if you're anything like me you prefer genuine friendship and a great social and professional life.

Man you really hit it on the head. I'm glad I came on here to get some feedback from people. This is exactly what I needed to hear. I can't agree more. I notice in SoCal little things like going to get your mail in the mail room (apartment), I like to make eye contact and say hello, people here look down and pretend they didn't see you; same deal in elevator - people are socially awkward/intimidated.

I did notice a few times in Texas I was in a store and random people would come up to me as I was looking at fishing tackle or coolers or whatever at Academy and I thought it was amazing. People just strike up conversations and that is how you make a new friend. Here in Cali they would think you are a strange bird and shy away from that social interaction. I think you sort of re-affirmed my thoughts about Texans.

Now I just need to see if I can 'learn to live' the 4-6 months of awful summer heat. What I don't want to do is just 'deal with it' because ultimately that wouldn't make me happy and I hate the concept of settling; however I do understand the pluses/minuses equation and right now, there are many more plusses for me. Bass fishing is a big one for me too and the lakes/fishing are very good in Austin.

If I feel like I'm around more people who are pulling for each other and friendly and in this life together and not on a mission trying to 'compete' and beat everyone, then I think maybe the heat would not bother me as much and my sentiment may be more positive/enhanced because of the class/friendliness of people and relationships/friendships I would probably be more apt to make there, than I have here.

Good insight, appreciate your time. Wishing you the best in Houston. I know that is one place I definitely could not deal with - the humidity is unbearable there haha. We had a football camp this September there and it downpoured for 3 hours and after it stopped raining it felt like some tropical rainforest at 104 degrees and probably 95% humidity. Absolutely awful. But I know Austin will have those days too, eek!

[Rynldsbr]

Here's .02 from someone who came for the absolute opposite reason, and found what you are looking for. I moved the family here for a career opportunity that was not available in Wisconsin. I loved WI and it was home for almost all my life. I never wanted to live where it was hot, or where there was an HOA. I now live in Hutto, TX in a suburban neighborhood with a mafia-esque HOA when it comes to lawn maintenance.


First, let's be clear - it is hotter than the surface of the sun here in the summer. Yet today it is 50 degrees and raining, with a cold front coming through that will have us in a freeze warning Thursday. Weather will not be perfect. People here are great for the most part, and I think there are very few "fake" people here. Most will enjoy a conversation, and offer to help you out if you need something.


Personally, from your post, you sound like a good fit for the burbs. Past a lot of the bar scene and looking for sincerity and long term friendships and relationships. We have found these to be strong in the area we chose, and a lifelong friend is in Leander now, and has also thoroughly enjoyed his move to Central Texas. You may like Round rock, with the old town area for a little night life but not the college town scene. Cedar Park and Leander are also great areas with some amenities that won't leave you feeling in the boonies. I know S. Austin is very popular with the crowd that is younger than I am, but I don't know enough to tell you why. Your plan to spend several weeks here is good, and will let you absorb some of the area and look at it critically before making a move. Enjoy...

[radiolibre99]

I too am looking at Leander, Pflugerville, RR and Cedar Park. So they're good too? Do all of the ills people ascribe to Austin also happen in these places?