question for Native Hawaiians about my Hawaiian name (Maili: gay, drive)

[ecstaticdj]

Originally Posted by isaackko

haha, people gonna think you're mahu, lol

My middle name is Kanoe, which is also a girl name, haha.... I used to be so embarrassed on the first day of school.

Thanks for the honest response.

So a follow-up question ... is there a lot of intolerance and prejudice towards those who are mahu in Hawaii? Are the mahu subject to intimidation, threats, or violence? (I'm not mahu, but if I'm possibly going to be perceived as mahu, I'd like to know.)

[CyberCity]

Originally Posted by ecstaticdj

So a follow-up question ... is there a lot of intolerance and prejudice towards those who are mahu in Hawaii? Are the mahu subject to intimidation, threats, or violence? (I'm not mahu, but if I'm possibly going to be perceived as mahu, I'd like to know.)

I'll ask, respectfully, if it really matters what others think of you based upon your first name? Do you really care of they think "gay", and if they do, what of it? Or do you hold your individualism and right to have any name you want as having a higher value than others' opinions?

But if you are truly worried about intimidation, threats, or violence due to [being perceived of as] gay, solely based upon a first name, then you need not worry. You will be fine.

[ecstaticdj]

Originally Posted by CyberCity

I'll ask, respectfully, if it really matters what others think of you based upon your first name? Do you really care of they think "gay", and if they do, what of it? Or do you hold your individualism and right to have any name you want as having a higher value than others' opinions?

But if you are truly worried about intimidation, threats, or violence due to [being perceived of as] gay, solely based upon a first name, then you need not worry. You will be fine.

No I'm not worried, just trying to gauge what the general tolerance level for alternative lifestyles is like there. (I haven't been to the islands since 1993. I'll be coming to the Big Island in September.) I don't care if people think I'm gay, so long as they have a live and let live attitude.

I'd say I'm more concerned about whether or not my going by the name of Maile might close doors or spoil opportunities (for employment, for friendship, for whatever) or generally make life harder for me than it would otherwise. Because the name doesn't hold any particular meaning for me other than that it's my given name, and I think it sounds nice and is more unique than Mike. Hardly seems worth asserting my individualism in that way if it's just going to cause me a bad time. Based on this thread, I'm still not sure what to think.

[hotzcatz]

Well, the easy way would be if you call yourself "Mike" to folks when you first meet them and later explain your hippie parents and their choice of names for you. Then your friends can call you "Maile", I suppose, if you want to be "Maile.

[ecstaticdj]

Originally Posted by hotzcatz

Well, the easy way would be if you call yourself "Mike" to folks when you first meet them and later explain your hippie parents and their choice of names for you. Then your friends can call you "Maile", I suppose, if you want to be "Maile.

Pretty much exactly where my thoughts were headed. Good advice.

Thanks for indulging my (somewhat neurotic) inquiry everyone.

[CyberCity]

"It will all be fine." You'll get a good dose of explaining your name whenever you have to fill out a legal form, or buy an airline ticket, or rent a car. You will probably find that it is not that big a deal at all. By the way, early Hawaiian names were unisex and held special meaning. Do some research and you'll have a wonderful opportunity of a "conversation starter" when you give your Hawaiian name.

[HiloDiver]

I like Hotz' reply.

[CyberCity]

In Hawaii, a Hawaiian name is a foot in the door.

[Kaimakani]

Maile is generally a female name in Hawaii. That said, gender roles here are not as rigid as they are on the mainland. You will likely see more reaction to an obvious haole (meaning 'stranger' or 'foreigner') having a Hawaiian birth name than to whether it's a male or female name. If you like your name and are comfortable with it, hang onto it. If you're not comfortable with it, you might want to pick a nickname you like and go with that.

I am a haole living in Hawaii. Most of my friends and neighbors consider me "local" but not "Hawaiian". I'm comfortable with it, and so are they.

Best Wishes, Aloha kakou

[Galactastica]

It's true, I too believe any given Hawaiian name for anyone is a foot in the door, in some sense, in the islands. Girls name? Boys name? Who cares. I found people on the Big Island to be more accepting than anywhere else I have ever lived, not to say it's a total exception. You are lucky to have such a nice name, but it's soley up to you in how you use it.

Quick note; It's always been one of my pet peeves that people pronounce Maile as "Mai-lee" like Miley Cyrus instead of "Mai-Leh", which is correct. E's being pronounced in a hard I sound drives me nuts when someone says a Hawaiian word! I knew someone who would always say "Wa-he-nee" for Wahine and "Ka-ni" for Kane. Makes me wanna barf!