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I've now lived in Canada (GTA) for 3 years now. In the beginning I was overwhelmed by how nice and friendly everyone was, and assumed it would be a wonderful place to live. Many, many Canadians and immigrants who'd been here a while warned me I would eventually wake up and see the light: that Canada is a very cold place to live, in more ways than one, as they say.
I have now seen the light, and agree with them entirely.
I'm a very outgoing guy, and over the past 3 years I've met zillions of people here, almost all of them extremely friendly, some even helpful and generous in real ways. But as time passed, I realized that try as I might, no one was interested in being a "real friend". That is, someone who's genuinely interested in your life, in what you think, who'll be there for you and sacrifice for you, and you'll do the same for them.
I'd worry that it's me, but I have lots of true friends: just from different countries. Many Americans, a few French, several Colombians, at least half a dozen Spanish (I've travelled a lot).
But this past weekend I witnessed an event that drove the point home powerfully. I went on a graduate school "bonding" outing where there were lots of activities to allow people to get to know each other, have fun, and expand our networks. It was very well-organized, and I met lots and lots of people.
Like many graduate schools in Canada, this one was massively multicultural with people from all over the world. And, without exception, the best, most honest and close relationships I developed were with people from OUTSIDE Canada. A guy from UAE, a guy from Pakistan, a girl from China, a girl from Holland, a guy from France, a guy from Venezuela. The Canadians, to a person, were very friendly but more or less like "politeness robots", with a force field of politeness around them about 10km thick, that now matter how you try, you can't penetrate to find a real person.
What really made me start to understand was watching the behavior at the party at the end of the day. To make a point through a horrible generalization: Canadians are completely incapable of passion, and are in fact scared of it. This was a social grouping of 22-30 year old in an idyllic setting far from the worries of life, with lots of alcohol flowing. All the guys wanted to hook up. So did many of the girls. But to see them fumble around each other was astounding and to an outsider to Canada, hilarious. They would dance, touch - just a little -, then back away, then maybe try and touch again. Even a couple who DID finally hook up (both young, very attractive kids in their early 20s) barely touched each other the next night, still standing talking at a distance (with the occasional light peck on the lips) ever so politely. Anyone from the US, or Europe, or Australia knows that young lovers who just found each other sexually literally can't keep their hands off each other. Or, any college party you go to in the US or Europe or South America at least come people are all over each other with passion.
Not in Canada. Everything's polite in Canada. Everything's rules. I imagine before having sex there's a long, courteous discussion of the rules and the bounds, and each partner is careful to obey the guidelines as previously stipulated and consented lol.
I had a conversation with both the French guy (who was very good-looking and extremely romantically capable) and the Venezuelan (who just oozed romance) where we asked each other "what IS it with this place? Everyone is cold as ice!".
But seeing it made me realize something that seemed to explain the entirety of my strange experience here over these last 3 years: Canadians don't do passion. In fact, they are afraid of it. Whenever I'd show some passionate interest in some topic, they (politely) looked at me like I was a martian and backed away slowly.
And I have a sense that's a source of Canada's mediocrity. To do anything really well, you need to be passionate about it. But Canada just doesn't do passion.
I imagine before having sex there's a long, courteous discussion of the rules and the bounds, and each partner is careful to obey the guidelines as previously stipulated and consented lol
Why only imagine? Try it out, or were you too "passionless" to approach girls?
I've now lived in Canada (GTA) for 3 years now. In the beginning I was overwhelmed by how nice and friendly everyone was, and assumed it would be a wonderful place to live. Many, many Canadians and immigrants who'd been here a while warned me I would eventually wake up and see the light: that Canada is a very cold place to live, in more ways than one, as they say.
I have now seen the light, and agree with them entirely.
I'm a very outgoing guy, and over the past 3 years I've met zillions of people here, almost all of them extremely friendly, some even helpful and generous in real ways. But as time passed, I realized that try as I might, no one was interested in being a "real friend". That is, someone who's genuinely interested in your life, in what you think, who'll be there for you and sacrifice for you, and you'll do the same for them.
I'd worry that it's me, but I have lots of true friends: just from different countries. Many Americans, a few French, several Colombians, at least half a dozen Spanish (I've travelled a lot).
But this past weekend I witnessed an event that drove the point home powerfully. I went on a graduate school "bonding" outing where there were lots of activities to allow people to get to know each other, have fun, and expand our networks. It was very well-organized, and I met lots and lots of people.
Like many graduate schools in Canada, this one was massively multicultural with people from all over the world. And, without exception, the best, most honest and close relationships I developed were with people from OUTSIDE Canada. A guy from UAE, a guy from Pakistan, a girl from China, a girl from Holland, a guy from France, a guy from Venezuela. The Canadians, to a person, were very friendly but more or less like "politeness robots", with a force field of politeness around them about 10km thick, that now matter how you try, you can't penetrate to find a real person.
What really made me start to understand was watching the behavior at the party at the end of the day. To make a point through a horrible generalization: Canadians are completely incapable of passion, and are in fact scared of it. This was a social grouping of 22-30 year old in an idyllic setting far from the worries of life, with lots of alcohol flowing. All the guys wanted to hook up. So did many of the girls. But to see them fumble around each other was astounding and to an outsider to Canada, hilarious. They would dance, touch - just a little -, then back away, then maybe try and touch again. Even a couple who DID finally hook up (both young, very attractive kids in their early 20s) barely touched each other the next night, still standing talking at a distance (with the occasional light peck on the lips) ever so politely. Anyone from the US, or Europe, or Australia knows that young lovers who just found each other sexually literally can't keep their hands off each other. Or, any college party you go to in the US or Europe or South America at least come people are all over each other with passion.
Not in Canada. Everything's polite in Canada. Everything's rules. I imagine before having sex there's a long, courteous discussion of the rules and the bounds, and each partner is careful to obey the guidelines as previously stipulated and consented lol.
I had a conversation with both the French guy (who was very good-looking and extremely romantically capable) and the Venezuelan (who just oozed romance) where we asked each other "what IS it with this place? Everyone is cold as ice!".
But seeing it made me realize something that seemed to explain the entirety of my strange experience here over these last 3 years: Canadians don't do passion. In fact, they are afraid of it. Whenever I'd show some passionate interest in some topic, they (politely) looked at me like I was a martian and backed away slowly.
And I have a sense that's a source of Canada's mediocrity. To do anything really well, you need to be passionate about it. But Canada just doesn't do passion.
Haaaar! Grow the fugg up and stop confusing superficial "passion" with the real deal!
It would seem our next gen cannot even tell the difference between real passion and casual social intercourse by the time they've gotten to graduate school. We're doomed.
If you are this confused over something as biological and fundamental as relationship nurturing as opposed to superficial and temporary "bonding"; the future holds many unfortunate surprises for ones such as you.
Heaven help you if, god forbid, you should ever be called upon to make an intelligent choice between someone you've just met but displays "passion" and someone who genuinely cares about your well being but does not wear it on their coat sleeves or, as is now predominant among the mental deficients, a tattoo on their butt.
Haaaar! Grow the fugg up and stop confusing superficial "passion" with the real deal!
It would seem our next gen cannot even tell the difference between real passion and casual social intercourse by the time they've gotten to graduate school. We're doomed.
If you are this confused over something as biological and fundamental as relationship nurturing as opposed to superficial and temporary "bonding"; the future holds many unfortunate surprises for ones such as you.
Heaven help you if, god forbid, you should ever be called upon to make an intelligent choice between someone you've just met but displays "passion" and someone who genuinely cares about your well being but does not wear it on their coat sleeves or, as is now predominant among the mental deficients, a tattoo on their butt.
I've now lived in Canada (GTA) for 3 years now. In the beginning I was overwhelmed by how nice and friendly everyone was, and assumed it would be a wonderful place to live. Many, many Canadians and immigrants who'd been here a while warned me I would eventually wake up and see the light: that Canada is a very cold place to live, in more ways than one, as they say.
I have now seen the light, and agree with them entirely.
I'm a very outgoing guy, and over the past 3 years I've met zillions of people here, almost all of them extremely friendly, some even helpful and generous in real ways. But as time passed, I realized that try as I might, no one was interested in being a "real friend". That is, someone who's genuinely interested in your life, in what you think, who'll be there for you and sacrifice for you, and you'll do the same for them.
I'd worry that it's me, but I have lots of true friends: just from different countries. Many Americans, a few French, several Colombians, at least half a dozen Spanish (I've travelled a lot).
But this past weekend I witnessed an event that drove the point home powerfully. I went on a graduate school "bonding" outing where there were lots of activities to allow people to get to know each other, have fun, and expand our networks. It was very well-organized, and I met lots and lots of people.
Like many graduate schools in Canada, this one was massively multicultural with people from all over the world. And, without exception, the best, most honest and close relationships I developed were with people from OUTSIDE Canada. A guy from UAE, a guy from Pakistan, a girl from China, a girl from Holland, a guy from France, a guy from Venezuela. The Canadians, to a person, were very friendly but more or less like "politeness robots", with a force field of politeness around them about 10km thick, that now matter how you try, you can't penetrate to find a real person.
What really made me start to understand was watching the behavior at the party at the end of the day. To make a point through a horrible generalization: Canadians are completely incapable of passion, and are in fact scared of it. This was a social grouping of 22-30 year old in an idyllic setting far from the worries of life, with lots of alcohol flowing. All the guys wanted to hook up. So did many of the girls. But to see them fumble around each other was astounding and to an outsider to Canada, hilarious. They would dance, touch - just a little -, then back away, then maybe try and touch again. Even a couple who DID finally hook up (both young, very attractive kids in their early 20s) barely touched each other the next night, still standing talking at a distance (with the occasional light peck on the lips) ever so politely. Anyone from the US, or Europe, or Australia knows that young lovers who just found each other sexually literally can't keep their hands off each other. Or, any college party you go to in the US or Europe or South America at least come people are all over each other with passion.
Not in Canada. Everything's polite in Canada. Everything's rules. I imagine before having sex there's a long, courteous discussion of the rules and the bounds, and each partner is careful to obey the guidelines as previously stipulated and consented lol.
I had a conversation with both the French guy (who was very good-looking and extremely romantically capable) and the Venezuelan (who just oozed romance) where we asked each other "what IS it with this place? Everyone is cold as ice!".
But seeing it made me realize something that seemed to explain the entirety of my strange experience here over these last 3 years: Canadians don't do passion. In fact, they are afraid of it. Whenever I'd show some passionate interest in some topic, they (politely) looked at me like I was a martian and backed away slowly.
And I have a sense that's a source of Canada's mediocrity. To do anything really well, you need to be passionate about it. But Canada just doesn't do passion.
What the hell kinda parties have you been going to hahaha... This does not equate to my experiences in Toronto.... AT ALL.... so yeah, you can totally speak for yourself.
It is you. I think if you want to fit in socially in Canada you need to grow up and learn some civilized decorum and proper social graces.
Reading through your post and seeing how you describe your people watching and the conclusions you came to you sound to me like an immature, sexually repressed voyeuristic geek who gets his rocks off from imagining uncivilized strangers coming together and blindly rutting in public like animals in heat. If that's the kind of public behaviour you expect from people you came to the wrong country. Don't let the back door hit you in the backside when you leave the country in your search for hedonism and public orgies.
PaulAndres\quote: [I imagine before having sex there's a long, courteous discussion of the rules and the bounds, and each partner is careful to obey the guidelines as previously stipulated and consented lol.]
Got a chuckle out of that!
I do have to agree, we certainly dim when compared to say the more passionate Latin countries, French, Italian, Spanish, etc., .. without stereotyping of course.
But we're just a young country and still learning.
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