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Niagara Falls woman beaten into a coma 21 years ago by her drunken husband dies at home with family who cared for her.
An upstate New York woman has died at age of 51 after 21 years in a coma, and the Buffalo News recounts the story of how her family cared for her—at home—all that time. Bernadette Jones of Niagara Falls descended into the permanent state of unconsciousness after her drunk husband beat her in 1991. For the next two decades, Jones' family, including her three children, cared for her in a special room they built in the back of their home—a cozy haven they filled with music, biblical Scripture readings, and loving companionship.
To me this story is kinda bitter-sweet....very sad that this woman died so young and never woke to see her family again, yet the fact that her loving family was there for her all those years leaves me with a good feeling.
To me this story is kinda bitter-sweet....very sad that this woman died so young and never woke to see her family again, yet the fact that her loving family was there for her all those years leaves me with a good feeling.
No good feeling to me...I have filled out my medical directive that my wife has the say up until the 30th day...then the plug gets pulled. That way, if she wants to make a decision prior to that, she can. On the 30th day, the decision is made for her, by me. No way am I going to drain financial and emotional resources, by putting it on them. The Terri Schiavo case brought it all home for me.
She says she needs at least a week to yell at me...at me not say anything back.
I never thought of it that way jfkIII...makes sense....guess that's why it's important to have a "living will", though I doubt this young lady had ever even entertained the idea.
Sounds like it was the family's choice to care for her at home, and they did it willingly and lovingly. It hardly sounds like they were put upon. Everyone should be able to make that choice.
God bless her family.
Quote:
Originally Posted by purehuman
guess that's why it's important to have a "living will", though I doubt this young lady had ever even entertained the idea.
Not too many people would believe that their spouse is going to beat them into a coma before their 30th birthday ...
No good feeling to me...I have filled out my medical directive that my wife has the say up until the 30th day...then the plug gets pulled. That way, if she wants to make a decision prior to that, she can. On the 30th day, the decision is made for her, by me. No way am I going to drain financial and emotional resources, by putting it on them. The Terri Schiavo case brought it all home for me.
She says she needs at least a week to yell at me...at me not say anything back.
Terry Schiavo notwithstanding, I am reminded of Karen Ann Quinlan. A young woman of 21 who fell into a vegetative state after a party where she (allegedly) consumed alcohol and Valium. After several months with no improvement, her adoptive parents requested the hospital remove life support means. The hospital refused, fearing prosecution for homicide.
Following a lengthy battle, the NJ Supreme Court ruled in favor of the parents and Karen was removed from the ventilator and tube feeding that had been keeping her "alive". But Karen didn't die. She breathed spontaneously on her own, and continued in her vegetative state for nine years, when she eventually succumbed due to pneumonia.
I have no wish to be sustained by artificial means when there is no hope of recovery. My family is aware of my wish. But if they "pull the plug" and I don't die, how does it end?
jfk, your wife will either be shouting herself hoarse or she'll have to whack you between the eyes with a mallet.
As for the family that cared for the poor soul who was referenced in the OP, they are evidence that good still abides in this world.
As for the family that cared for the poor soul who was referenced in the OP, they are evidence that good still abides in this world.
Good will? What good did it do that woman to be kept in that state all those years?
You think she felt loved?
Even worse.....much, much worse is that she might have felt loved or heard the music.
It is the contention sometimes that a person in that condition just might have some awareness.
Can you imagine for yourself that you have been trapped, unable to communicate or move, in a condition like that with no hope of escape??
Talk about an endless living nightmare!
Good will? What good did it do that woman to be kept in that state all those years?
You think she felt loved?
Even worse.....much, much worse is that she might have felt loved or heard the music.
It is the contention sometimes that a person in that condition just might have some awareness.
Can you imagine for yourself that you have been trapped, unable to communicate or move, in a condition like that with no hope of escape??
Talk about an endless living nightmare!
Don't speak for everyone !
My wife lost her 2 year 9 month battle with ALS on Thanksgiving morning.
The last 5 months she was bedridden and totally paralyzed , yet she managed a smile as I was her caregiver 24/7.
Five years earlier, both of us would have said we would not want to live that way, yet my wife's desire to live was still strong until she took her last breath.
My wife lost her 2 year 9 month battle with ALS on Thanksgiving morning.
The last 5 months she was bedridden and totally paralyzed , yet she managed a smile as I was her caregiver 24/7.
Five years earlier, both of us would have said we would not want to live that way, yet my wife's desire to live was still strong until she took her last breath.
The op's story was about someone in a permanent state of unconsciousness.
Granted, I did mention being aware.
But I do have to ask...do you really think your wife would have wanted to spend years like that?
I am going to refrain from delving deeper into the issue with you as I know it is still fresh and I can see no upside to even the possibility of causing you any pain.
The op's story was about someone in a permanent state of unconsciousness.
Granted, I did mention being aware.
But I do have to ask...do you really think your wife would have wanted to spend years like that?
I am going to refrain from delving deeper into the issue with you as I know it is still fresh and I can see no upside to even the possibility of causing you any pain.
I doubt it.
To be honest ( in our situation) , we never allowed us to dwell on the bad side of the situation.
It was only after her death that I allowed myself to realize how truly horrible it was for my wife the last 5 months. Being paralyzed and unable to communicate is terrible.
Yes, I guess I certainly can see your point of view and I agree comparing my wife's 5 months of paralysis to a person in a coma for 20+ years is not comparing apples to apples.
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