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I'd be happy with a whole 12 hours without confrontation, accusations and a raised voice. I know logically that I'm the target of his anger because I'm here and I'm familiar. Its just hard to apply logic to this chaos.
Yes Cat its hard when we are targetted by someone who is mad,cant contain thier anger,etc......... (Its happend to me many times)
I'd be happy with a whole 12 hours without confrontation, accusations and a raised voice. I know logically that I'm the target of his anger because I'm here and I'm familiar. Its just hard to apply logic to this chaos.
It is one thing to care about and for someone, it is quite another to suffer constant abuse from them. I don't know what your options are, but this does not sound like a good situation.
It is one thing to care about and for someone, it is quite another to suffer constant abuse from them. I don't know what your options are, but this does not sound like a good situation.
Its hard at times but not all the time. We have had a good week this week and I thought his meds had kicked in and were helping him. Tonight he is angry and huffing around slamming doors. If this continues, I'll call his Dr again on Monday. Hopefully, he is just frustrated by something and will feel better tomorrow. He doesn't want to be this way. Dementia is an evil disease.
he is prescribed xanax because it works the best for him. He is prescribed .25 mg with a max dose of 2.0 mg. He only takes it as needed, not daily. I understand it addictive properties and monitor him very closely. Like all drugs, it has its good and bad properties. When he is in a full blown panic attack, xanax wotks the best at managing it.
I hope you've discussed this method with his psychiatrist. I wonder if you're not seeing this clearly.
"Hopefully, he is just frustrated by something and will feel better tomorrow."
Did you ask SPECIFICALLY why "as needed" means whatever day whatever time?
With my client it was (a different drug - ativan)...DAILY and additional dose AS NEEDED that particular day. Same half life.
I don't understand the logic of riding a roller coaster only taking it AS NEEDED. His blood levels are never steady and his symptoms towards you just prove that it's not really working as intended.
Have you ever tried it DAILY at the lowest possible dose to see if it actually provides some stability? Or are his other meds supposed to do that?
My guess is he's going through withdrawal symptoms every time it wears off, in addition to the anxiety returning.
Addiction would be the LAST thing I'd be concerned about. People have been living on xanax for decades and you indicated your husband likely only has a few years of life left.
Again, the family is always the last to see something and always wait to long to treat things. No offense, just trying to save you some drama.
I hope you've discussed this method with his psychiatrist. I wonder if you're not seeing this clearly.
"Hopefully, he is just frustrated by something and will feel better tomorrow."
Did you ask SPECIFICALLY why "as needed" means whatever day whatever time?
With my client it was (a different drug - ativan)...DAILY and additional dose AS NEEDED that particular day. Same half life.
I don't understand the logic of riding a roller coaster only taking it AS NEEDED. His blood levels are never steady and his symptoms towards you just prove that it's not really working as intended.
Have you ever tried it DAILY at the lowest possible dose to see if it actually provides some stability? Or are his other meds supposed to do that?
My guess is he's going through withdrawal symptoms every time it wears off, in addition to the anxiety returning.
Addiction would be the LAST thing I'd be concerned about. People have been living on xanax for decades and you indicated your husband likely only has a few years of life left.
Again, the family is always the last to see something and always wait to long to treat things. No offense, just trying to save you some drama.
i understand your concerns. He does NOT take xanax daily, or on a regular schedule. His dosage is up to 2 mg with 4 mg maximum per 24 hours. 2 mg would knock him back to being asleep. Another 2 would be administered only if he woke up dtill out of his head with anxiety. If he is "addicted" quite frankly it is low on my list to send him to rehab to suffer through withdrawal. He wouldn't understand it and would see it as prison. Those are NOT the final memories i want to make with my husband. Medical personnel can tell me "this" may help or maybe that. NO ONE KNOWS HOW TO FIX THIS. So we brunder along using Steve as a lab rat seeing if the current list of pharmaceuticals works. As I said, dementia of the sort Strve has is just evil. I don't e-fing care if he is addicted. If it HELPS we will keep using it.
Its hard at times but not all the time. We have had a good week this week and I thought his meds had kicked in and were helping him. Tonight he is angry and huffing around slamming doors. If this continues, I'll call his Dr again on Monday. Hopefully, he is just frustrated by something and will feel better tomorrow. He doesn't want to be this way. Dementia is an evil disease.
I'm glad you had a good week. You have an awful lot on you. Try to find some de-stress things you can do for yourself every day, even slapping on some headphones & listening to music might help you unwind. Your own health -physical & mental- is at stake. Try to remember to take care of yourself.
i understand your concerns. He does NOT take xanax daily, or on a regular schedule..... I don't e-fing care if he is addicted. If it HELPS we will keep using it.
I think you may have misunderstood what "scissors" was saying. I think you two are in agreement that he should take it if it helps, and I think she was saying that maybe he should take it daily instead of "as needed", to provide some stability in his moods.
I think you may have misunderstood what "scissors" was saying. I think you two are in agreement that he should take it if it helps, and I think she was saying that maybe he should take it daily instead of "as needed", to provide some stability in his moods.
Exactly. I was saying only taking occasionally when he already "needs it" is only a patch - and the WITHDRAWAL from taking it off and on could also be affecting his moodswings that she describes.
I'd be asking the doctor if DAILY wouldn't be better. IF it's a psychiatrist. If it's only a GP I'd be giving it daily to see if that helps his stability.
I say let him go. I dont mean divorce, i mean let go live on the mountain for a time and work this out. Help him pack. My guess is that it wont last two weeks.
As everyone knows, the parents become the children and the children become the parents. He is reverting to that time he was 9 years old and wanted, and maybe did, run away which he believed would solve his problems.
A man gets his self-worth from his productivity. As you are saying his career is ending, id guess that other than losing a child, losing a career would be the worst possible thing to happen and creates a terrible and terrifying injury. He needs time to put things in a different light and hopefully that means finding new ways to be productive. Intervention and arguing and therapy cant do any good at the moment. Therapy can be effective when the patient wants to rise up out of the pit.
Im not a professional and I dont want to steer you down the wrong path but thats my take on it. Look for ways to be supportive and calm and maybe a few weeks in the forest is just what the doctor ordered. Give him journals to write in, possibly a musical instrument too. What he needs are ways to vent it out and re-center himself, but not in any way that would diminish himself further, especially in your eyes. If I were in his shoes I might be thinking I was no longer good enough for you. Thats how I read your post.
I say let him go. I dont mean divorce, i mean let go live on the mountain for a time and work this out. Help him pack. My guess is that it wont last two weeks.
As everyone knows, the parents become the children and the children become the parents. He is reverting to that time he was 9 years old and wanted, and maybe did, run away which he believed would solve his problems.
A man gets his self-worth from his productivity. As you are saying his career is ending, id guess that other than losing a child, losing a career would be the worst possible thing to happen and creates a terrible and terrifying injury. He needs time to put things in a different light and hopefully that means finding new ways to be productive. Intervention and arguing and therapy cant do any good at the moment. Therapy can be effective when the patient wants to rise up out of the pit.
Im not a professional and I dont want to steer you down the wrong path but thats my take on it. Look for ways to be supportive and calm and maybe a few weeks in the forest is just what the doctor ordered. Give him journals to write in, possibly a musical instrument too. What he needs are ways to vent it out and re-center himself, but not in any way that would diminish himself further, especially in your eyes. If I were in his shoes I might be thinking I was no longer good enough for you. Thats how I read your post.
i dont think you are understanding that my husband is not capable of managing his affairs, paying his bills or managing his health care or money. This is a symptom of his diagnosed disease, frontal temporal dementia. Would you recommend a 5 year old be released to the streets with no supervision? Same situation.
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