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I've written before where we tried to get help for my mom but she was denied because her income is $5.82 above the income limit. I have to pay one lady to go to her house and it's hurting us financially.
Mom is also paying another girl but she is so stretched that she's on a payment plan to pay for last years real estate taxes. I just got notice that her real estate taxes went up. I read an article in the newspaper that our local government needed to raise taxes because they can't make their budget. I guess they think we the people don't have a budget to meet and they can just take more. We can't stretch her income any more and I can't pay anymore.
The only thing I could think of is to tell the one girl we can't afford her anymore but that means that I will have to be there even more. I already don't have a life. It's hurting our marriage because I'm never around. Just as bad is DH is always running to take his dad to the doctors, run errands, and on and on. We're older ourselves, we won't qualify for help and need our money to take care of us during our elderly years.
This cracks me up. 30% of the boomer generation is dipping into their own funds to pay for their elderly parents. They all say... "have a discussion" LOL? With who. They say there is a lot of help out there. Ya, only if you're super poor in the first place.
And if you jeopardize your own finances now, you risk putting your children in the same tough spot down the line.
With all of the overwhelming emotional and medical aspects of caring for elderly parents, it’s natural to ignore the consequences of spending large amounts of money on them. But so often adult children end up ignoring their own savings and retirement accounts or, worse, go into debt, because they’re taking care of their parents, says Tim Casserly, a lawyer in Albany who specializes in issues of elderly care.
Sell the house and move her into a small apartment?
Yea, just that easy, if I could and made sense I would have.
I hate life. Oh yea... what life?
I don't know where parents get that their kids can just drop everything and pay. I was always careful with my money, trying to make sure I can take care of myself in my elderly years. Now I'm paying for someone else's elderly years and when I get too old to take care of myself I'm screwed.
Without more details from the OP, what Harpaint says makes sense to me as well.
Perhaps you just need to vent, and that's fine. But surely you have some recourse?
Without more details from the OP, what Harpaint says makes sense to me as well.
Perhaps you just need to vent, and that's fine. But surely you have some recourse?
No I've looked at all options and nothing works except for draining my own money but if I do and since I'll never qualify for help, we're screwed, big time screwed. I HATE that old people just take for granted and think that their kids can pick up the slack.
My brother won't help, my other brother tries but you got to love how a helper said she called me because my other brother doesn't have the time grrr. Obviously my job doesn't matter, I'm made of time, my uncle says it's my place because I'm the girl in the family and because I won't move in he is bashing me to other family members. I'm exhausted and I'm being drained. I'm sick of the BS. Should say FU all and walk.
Does your state have a senior property tax deferral program?
Yes I applied for her and yes she was approved. The real estate taxes went up $200 if paid by the end of this month, then after 3 months it goes up $400. She can't pay the base taxes by the end of this month so she'll be charged a late fee of $400. It just never ends. I'm being as miserly as possible. A visit to the doctor because this or that is a problem and now she's set back more money, she has to go for another visit on Tuesday cha ching... I can't get her caught up.
In some states seniors are allowed to forgo paying the property tax. Then it is taken later when the property is sold.
Because she couldn't pay I thought what you said was true and thought they could take it out of her house but that didn't work. It went to a collection agency which is being paid (payments) now. And here we go again, her taxes went up. I could pay but I'm paying so much already. I can't keep this up.
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