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My mom got offered a roommate opportunity. The caregiver taking care of my dad for 6 months before he passed offered to live with my mom. My mom does need a roommate since my dad is no longer living, she is wheelchair bound and her house is big.However, the caregiver wants her husband and father to move in as well. They will take care of my mom (cleaning, cooking, going to store, etc plus pay utilities) in exchange for staying there. I dont know. I live out of town and nervous that this family will dominate her life. This is not 1 person but a whole family. They said they want to stay because they are saving for a house. I'm nervous she maybe taken advantage of.
I dont know these people and only can go by what my mom says.
Have a background check done on the father and husband ad well as the caretaker. It could work out well, or could be a nightmare. Also, they could possibly, depending on your mother's mental state, get her to sign over the house and all assets. Perhaps of you can get power of attorney for all her financial decisions. You and your mother should probably see an attorney specializing in elder Care to make sure she can't be taken advantage of if your mother decides to move forward with this arrangement. Also, be sure to see your mother as often as you can and call frequently.
Is it an option at all for you to move to live with your Mom or have her stay with you? Does she have a support system besides yourself?
Location: We_tside PNW (Columbia Gorge) / CO / SA TX / Thailand
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This is a very strange request, but if legitimate might save some $$.
I would be much more inclined to MAXIMUM (1) caregiver 'live-in'. A whole herd could really be disruptive to 'mom'.
Can you imagine the TV / remote wars? ONLY if there is a totally separate living space for them, (basement / guest house) and they do not invade your mom's space.
How big is mom's house!!!? how old are these caregivers? Are they from a multigenerational living together culture?
Have a very robust screening and contract terms and attorney involved. With easy exit terms for your mom to get them out of her home.
For occupants in the same house...
1)Utilities and Maintenance / repairs must always be divided and paid per person.
2) If occupants use the Washer and Dryer... It is $5 / per load. *Same as laundromat. (repairs and depreciation).
3) Must have serarate kitchens and food prep and storage.
My advice—nip this in the bud. Once they establish themselves you will have a terrible time extricating them. You can’t just kick people out these days.
This sounds like opportunistic people who want to live rent free.
If you are still on the fence, see an attorney for legal advice. You don’t know these people. They could end up abusing your mom.
Years ago, my mother was approached by a younger couple who proposed moving in with her to “help” her. She had enough sense to refuse. She told me they were looking for a free ride and did not want to work. This happened well before the onset of her dementia.
Once they are in they could be hard to get out if the arrangement isn't working. I'd be worried that they were drug addicts. That's why there would need to be a legal contract to protect your mother and quickly evict them if there are problems. Maybe it would be better for your Mother to go to an assisted living facility. One that has different levels if care so she wouldn't have to move as her needs increase.
Have a background check done on the father and husband ad well as the caretaker. It could work out well, or could be a nightmare. Also, they could possibly, depending on your mother's mental state, get her to sign over the house and all assets. Perhaps of you can get power of attorney for all her financial decisions. You and your mother should probably see an attorney specializing in elder Care to make sure she can't be taken advantage of if your mother decides to move forward with this arrangement. Also, be sure to see your mother as often as you can and call frequently.
Is it an option at all for you to move to live with your Mom or have her stay with you? Does she have a support system besides yourself?
Great points. Frankly, I would be extremely apprehensive of a situation like this, especially with multiple family members moving in.
I agree on getting a background check on all of them. If the family wants to stay together, maybe it would be good for your Mom to have around the clock care. Maybe they are just trying to get ahead in life, but I would ask to be on your Mothers bank accounts & take charge of paying the bills etc. See a lawyer. It could be a good thing.
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