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My wife and I temporarily moved from our home in Charlotte, NC to Cape Cod, MA to help her dad care for her mom who is battling Parkinson's Disease. We have been here since July and will be here as long as we're needed. I go home to the Charlotte area every 5-6 weeks for a week or 2 to take care of things there at the house and see family. My wife has to stay here with her mom pretty much 24/7. My wife's brother gives us a respite from time to time to have a date night, go to church, etc. There's a dementia element to her Parkinson's, so that makes it a little dicier. When we decided to make this move, it was pretty scary. When you're in your 20's, you can make up any financial issues you may have over the course of years. But being in our mid 50's, it's very scary. I'm retired and my wife works in the medical field. She left her job to come here and her FMLA ran out in October. Though we are financially comfortable, it's still a bit unnerving to make such a move so late in life. But God has given us a peace about everything and made things work out for us. We know we're doing the right thing and are enjoying making my mother-in-law's life much happier and fulfilling during this difficult time in her life. My wife has been wonderful with her mom's therapy and all of her other needs. I do the housework and errands and her father cooks. We have a nice little routine. They have a large home, so we have a bedroom, bath, and den at a totally different part of the home to give all of us our privacy when needed. We have 4 children (22-26, 3 sons and a daughter) and a 16 month old granddaughter who are back in the Carolinas. 2 of our sons are in the military (Army 82nd Airborne in Ft. Bragg, NC and Marine Corp. Aviation Electronics at MCAS in Beaufort, SC). Our daughter, her daughter, and our other son live on their own in the Charlotte area near us.........I'm sorry for rambling, lol. I've truly enjoyed and been blessed by the various threads and post on this subforum and just wanted to share our new season of life.
I think it's wonderful that you and your wife have been able to do this for her parents, and that you're all handling it so well.
A lot of the posts on this forum are the friction that can develop (adult children resenting parents needs, parents chafing at adult children trying to set up rules, etc..).. and while it is understandable and people need a place to vent, it's nice to see something different!
We certainly don't get a lot of "We're doing this, it's going well, and I'm happy to be able to provide this help/care to our loved one".
I hope that this continues to work for all of you, and I am certain that your father-in-law feels very lucky to have a daughter and a son-in-law that are so caring and committed.
Welcome to the forum. It sounds like you have a pretty good care system for your MIL. Hopefully the dementia will not get too bad. So often, when we hear Parkinson's we only think of tremors & a shuffling gait. I never knew about the dementia part of it until we started caring for my dad.
Welcome and I hope your luck continues to hold and that things continue to go well for you and your family! My MIL had Parkinsons and dementia simultaneously and she was able to stay home for a couple of years before we finally had to move her to a facility specializing in that sort of care. But she did have several years at home beforehand.
We had to sell our homes (one in AZ, one in Mexico) to return to the east coast when my FIL's mental and physical health declined. He had always said he wanted to live in his own home as long as he could and my husband made that happen. We were lucky to have a caregiver who we could trust, however, to keep her from burning out, we gave her a week's break every 6 weeks.
We did this for over 3 years until his death.
Neither of us regret doing what we did. He was a terrific guy, though it was difficult to watch him fail, especially mentally.
I have a few friends going through this same issue now; one is single and it is a struggle for her doing it solo. I always said it took both of us to manage my FIL's care....sometimes physically, but most often emotionally.
I applaud the OP for being such a good husband and son-in-law.
March2, Hey welcome to the forum. I am from Cataumet MA. We just moved from there to Weirton WV. because we could not afford to retire back on the Cape. My husband has Parkinson's and my youngest son and his family moved here with us to take care of him and Me, I have several health issues of my own.
Anyway I hope you enjoy the cape. I miss going and sitting at Silver Beach all year round, and I miss the food at Seafood Sams in Falmouth and Cooks in Mashpee.
March2, Hey welcome to the forum. I am from Cataumet MA. We just moved from there to Weirton WV. because we could not afford to retire back on the Cape. My husband has Parkinson's and my youngest son and his family moved here with us to take care of him and Me, I have several health issues of my own.
Anyway I hope you enjoy the cape. I miss going and sitting at Silver Beach all year round, and I miss the food at Seafood Sams in Falmouth and Cooks in Mashpee.
What a small World!!! Will keep you husband in thought and prayer. So glad family is there for support........Yes, we really like the area. We've eaten at the places you mentioned and enjoyed them. We're enjoying our time here, but know we wouldn't want to live here permanently. Just too expensive, as you said, and we just love NC too much. Hope all goes well for you and your family!
Welcome, March2. My dad had Parkinson's and Lewy body dementia. I cared for him at home for as long as possible. Many of us here know what all you are going through. Prayers for your family.
Thanks everyone and, too, to the ones who messaged me. You're too kind!
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