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Surely. And surely none of those criticizing the old man's request here would ever do anything like he did. Right? :-)
Nope. The caregivers I had for a year following my motorcycle accident were all black or hispanic. No, we're not all like that old man. No, we're not all RACISTS.
My stepdad was in this situation and he was paying for it out of his pocket. He does have some say. His children can't simply act like slave-masters and ignore it all. Throwing him under the bus by posting a thread like this is low class.
Most people prefer to marry those of their own race, hang out with and live around those mostly of their own race, go to church or events with those mostly of their own race, but if you're dying and ask for someone of your own race for live-in help, you're the evil and dreaded RACIST.
Surely. And surely none of those criticizing the old man's request here would ever do anything like he did. Right? :-)
1) We get it. You want the "right" to hire whoever you want when you are infirm and need care. You've said it many times. Go for it. Just don't make someone else have to be party to it when you discriminate.
2) This is a forum about how to handle caregiving issues, and this is one which is apparently not that rare. OP wanted to know if anyone else had dealt with this. Nothing "low class" about it and -- saying that an anonymous old man is being "thrown under the bus" is a misguided attempt to throw shade at someone. Besides you're not even using the term correctly.
Nope. The caregivers I had for a year following my motorcycle accident were all black or hispanic. No, we're not all like that old man. No, we're not all RACISTS.
Laws against racial discrimination are not unique to the United States.
No one said they were. But there's likely to be some variation between different countries regarding what traits fall into a protected class. So MarisaMay's question wasn't unreasonable.
My stepdad was in this situation and he was paying for it out of his pocket. He does have some say. His children can't simply act like slave-masters and ignore it all.
No, but the agency sending out caregivers must and will.
My stepdad was in this situation and he was paying for it out of his pocket. He does have some say. His children can't simply act like slave-masters and ignore it all. Throwing him under the bus by posting a thread like this is low class.
Most people prefer to marry those of their own race, hang out with and live around those mostly of their own race, go to church or events with those mostly of their own race, but if you're dying and ask for someone of your own race for live-in help, you're the evil and dreaded RACIST.
Surely. And surely none of those criticizing the old man's request here would ever do anything like he did. Right? :-)
Unfortunately not all the time. There were plenty of days no one showed up with my MIL. These aren't exactly jobs that people fall over themselves to get. In many areas there simply aren't enough aides to go around. Its hard work for someone that does a good job at it and although the agency gets compensated well, the aide gets a fraction of that. Many times when they do show up they don't want to do anything but sit there and look at your parent.
OP will still need to check up on her parents. Ask them if they ate anything, took medication, blah blah blah. If the aide did any chores that were needed like light dusting, laundry or whatever. When you find a good one that they like, you do what you can to hold on to them.
Oh I get it - agencies aren't perfect. Fortunately ours worked out fairly well, and we did go through a number of aides initially but we've settled on some who are stable.
Most people prefer to marry those of their own race, hang out with and live around those mostly of their own race, go to church or events with those mostly of their own race, but if you're dying and ask for someone of your own race for live-in help, you're the evil and dreaded RACIST.
I happen to disagree with your statement about what "most people prefer," but at least you can't help noticing that none of those other preferences involve paying people for their services.
As a society we have agreed not to refuse employment to people based on their skin color. "Most people prefer" it that way.
No one cares what race of person you marry or hang out with.
I would go out of my way to get to know the CNA's coming to the house and be sure to notify the office of every single black person that showed up was "such a joy to work with, loving and caring. Please be sure to send them as much as possible."
Maybe a little exposure will make them a bit less of a racist POS.
I would go out of my way to get to know the CNA's coming to the house and be sure to notify the office of every single black person that showed up was "such a joy to work with, loving and caring. Please be sure to send them as much as possible."
Maybe a little exposure will make them a bit less of a racist POS.
Well first of all, they are not “racist POS”. They are my parents. Thank you very much.
Quite honestly, my mom has no issues with people of other races. She is a difficult controlling woman. That is for certain. It makes our relationship a very very difficult one.
Second of all, I have no way of getting to know each CNA, as I don’t have that kind of time.
Last edited by ChessieMom; 12-18-2018 at 12:49 PM..
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